About The Author

. I'm a sexy single lady just living it up in the big city. As you'll soon find out I have many interests and exploits. I love meeting people, and just living life to the fullest. I love my family, I love my friends, and I love my life! I am utterly addicted to the world wide web and can be a little wild and crazy at times but hey , aren't we all?

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Friday, December 22, 2006

I'm pissed the fuck off!

So I decided to do some of my Christmas shopping online. Didn't really feel like being bothered with the crowds and since I'm a last minute shopper anyway this was great for me. Because I didn't need to venture out into the madness of the malls and the like, I got it done rather early, the 13th and the 14th of this month. Why did I receive an email telling me that I was being refunded because of an inventory error. They could not ship my items because they were no longer available from the vendor!! GRRRRR!!! Inventory error my ass! I called and spoke with several people by phone and through a live customer service chat and each and every one of them summmama bishes assured me that my items were in stock and I would have it by Christmas. Mind you this not only happened with one of the online shopping sites (1 of which I have made previous purchases and had no problem with) but all 3 of them. The fact that the items were in stock, were guaranteed arrival by Christmas, and were extremely reasonably priced was the main deciding factor in my choosing to purchase from them and now this shit!!!! Since I have to work today and I am usually tired as hell when I get off, that leaves me all of what...saturday and Sunday to find these items that were specifically requested so that I won't be responsible for heartache on Christmas. Man, I am pissed the fuck off and all they could give me was a bunch of half-assed "I'm sorry's" and "I know how you feel, I would be upset too" Bitch you have all of your gifts, I am the one that is assed out and in a terrible quandary due to your false advertising and lies. I did get a $5 credit towards my next purchase but whoop dee do!!! I know one thing, I will Neva, eva, eva purchase anything that I need in a specific time frame on line again, and most definitely never from these particular online stores. Shit I would've been better off shopping on Ebay, at least I've never had a problem with them!!

End rant! Whewwww! That felt good.
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Monday, December 18, 2006

I am too through with Britney spears



I am so through with Mrs Britney Spears or Mrs. Federline(at least until after the divorce is finalized.) I don't know what that poor girl is going through but someone needs to knock some sense into her quick, fast, and in a hurry. Yes, you fucked up marrying fed-ex but you knew you were wrong from jump. He was in a long term relationship and on top of that his girlfriend was 9 months pregnant and you not only date him but marry him and become pregnant the same year? Then you get pregnant again only a few months later? Chile please!!!! Staying knocked up is not the way to keep a man. We're glad you wised up a bit and cut his mooching ass off but now you want to hang out with Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton ( who have no children I might add) and draw more attention to yourself? You know those hoes are known drunkards among other things. Maybe that's the point huh? Get back out there and get some attention (any publicity be it bad or good is still publicity correct?) in preparation for your comeback. Anyway, me thinks the timing is all wrong. It has been reported that K-Fed is seeking custody and what better way to give it to him Mrs. Britney, than to be seen partying every day of the week, dancing on tables drunk as a skunk,having your pantyless crotch
splattered all over the internet and TV for the whole word to see, as well as a myriad of demonstrated and documented lack of parenting skills. (driving with little Sean P on your lap and almost dropping him while tripping over your platform wedges in an attempt to hold on to your drink and your baby simultaneously..ring a bell anyone?) I just have 3 word for you Mrs. Brit and some of the other tack head chicks that have been thrusted upon us lately (ahem ahem Mrs Starr Jones or shall I say Mrs. Al Reynolds in a strapless mini with sagging titties and makeup 3 shades lighter than your skin color):



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Sunday, December 17, 2006

Mojitos, Music, and Men .. Yes!!! In that order



Well, not necessarily in that order, men and music are interchangeable but Mojitos will always be my number 1 lova. Anyway, My girl had a little soiree' in which we each(the four of us) had to bring two guests that the others didn't know. What the hell? I found that to be quite challenging since we all hang out together and know the same folks. There is not that many people that I am confortable with to let inside my little circle but I ended up settling on two of my co-workers, male and female. The male is cool as hell. We have a good rapport and he is one of the few fellas that have actually been to my spot before. Yes, he has been known to work a nerve or two but we're cool like that so it's quite alright. The girl is alright too. We talk, shop, and eat lunch together sometimes so I figured she may be worthy of hanging lol. It's just that I really don't like to mix business and pleasure together so if any of my business gets back to the workplace, there are no seconds chances with me. Immediate cut off. Anyway, I pick FCW (female co-worker) up and we go to MCW's ( you figure it out) and he follows us to the house. When we arrive, there are about 20 people, (Of course the hostess invited more than the required two) and we just mingled and listened to music at first. I was put on drink duty because I make a mean mojito as well as a few other things. Although I'm a diehard beer girl, I love a Mojito( I mean I really LOVE A MOJITO) and most other "girly" drinks. We sat around, talked, drank, ate, danced and just had a grand old time. We even had a table of Pinochle (that's my shit right there) and spades going. I haven't been to a card party since my college days and believe me, it was a welcome change from the club scene as well as a nice way to unwind and relax. I met some pretty cool peeps and that is a lot coming from me because it takes a lot for me to click with any female. Ya'll know how catty some women can be(especially when there are men around)and I just don't have the time nor the patience to deal with all of that drama. I let one young man monopolize most of my time as he volunteered to help me make the drinks. Attractive, smart, funny as hell and most importantly EMPLOYED!!! Yes!!! We have a winner. Just kidding but we exchanged business cards and said we'll keep in touch. I'm not really trying to get into a real relationship with anyone at the moment nor am I trying to add any more men to my stable but I tend to subscribe to the theory that one can never have too many friends, so I make it a habit to never discount anyone. The party lasted well into the wee hours of the morning before folks started to clear out. Since we(The fab four) were staying over, we cleaned up, drank the remaining liquor and those of us who did not pass out, (ahem ahem Ms Hostess) talked and reminisced until we finally drifted off to sleep. Memorable evening, so much so that I may volunteer to host the next one at my spot. Give me a chance to pull out the Magic Bullet (not THAT kind of bullet) but the one they show in the infomercial so I can mix it up proper like.





Instructional mojito video for those of you who know like I know!!!


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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

You Snooze, You lose!!

Ya girl needs to seriously get her butt in gear!!! I don't know what it is with me but I am such a procrastinator. I know how I am but it never fails, year after year I wait until the absolute last mintue to get my Christmas shopping done. I have a grip of gifts to get and have only bought two so far and that was online. I bought a mp3 player for my girl and because I was able to get it for such a good price, I decided to get one for myself as well. I think the reason that I am waiting so long is that I really don't know what to get for anyone. You know how people are, they don't want to get specific and are full of "Anything is fine" but let you get something they don't want, like or need....it's a whole 'nother story then. Money would be good but the people I am buying for want something to open on Christmas so a card with money just ain't gone' get it for them(ungrateful heathens). I have one person that really doesn't deserve anything, just moody and rotten for no reason at all, one who doesnt like anything I ever buy (which is usually clothes). I did buy this person a leather coat one year and that,was much appreciated. I have one who is extremely sweet and kind..for her I'll do anything, older folks who request money, but I'll most likely give gifts and then there is FWB who is non-deserving but since I can't do him like that, add him to my list as well. I already bought a few gifts for myself on Black Friday but I am determined that I am getting this one special gift for myself. I NEED this particular thing in my life so bad and I will do just about anything to get it! Ya'll just don't know how good it feels! Maybe I'll share at a later date, maybe I won't. Off to try to see what I can find online. I wonder how late I can order online and still have it arrive in time for Christmas...Hmmmm?
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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

AHHH, Winter time. ...either Love it or Hate it!


Saturday, I slept until 9 (which is rather late for me) I'm an extreme early bird and like to get up, out, and about early. I'm talking 5, or 6 A.M. early. I skipped the gym too because I didn't feel like dealing with the crowds. (which is one reason why I get up early on the weekends,I am in and out of the gym before most even wake up). I just fixed me some coffee and oatmeal (Makes your mouth water doesn't it lol.) and caught up with my MTV reality shows. FWB called around one and said he was stopping by. He showed up with takeout and a movie (Tai and The Forgotten ) which was really good. I'm not much of a scary movie buff but I did think this was good. Next after looking out of the window he came up with the brilliant idea to go outside and make a snow man. Okay, last time I checked we were two grown ass people but I was down for anything. I got dressed with my thermal underwear, a few pairs of socks, boots, scarves, gloves, hats, and anything else I could find to keep me warm and we headed out. I had a freaking Blast!!!! We made a half-assed snowman, had a snow ball fight, made snow angels, etc. I forgot how exhilarating it is to just let everything go and become a child again. Fwb even let me bury him partially. Isn't infatuation grand? That was exactly what I needed and believe it or not, I was having such a good time I completely forgot about the cold, (and the fact that his ass was still on punishment)at least until I got inside and couldn't feel my fingers and toes. I took a steaming hot shower and made us both some hot chocolate and we just sat around and watched cartoons. Lol we really regressed, but it was great. I suggest everyone take the time to rediscover their childhood. Very relaxing.
Since I'm off today( furniture delivery which is tying up my whole damn day. Why do they say between 8 and 7, like I have all day to sit around and wait for them) I figured I would just update this blog. After going to the gym and bugging my girl at work,I had a little free time lol. I really should be doing laundry and cleaning up a bit but I'm feeling lazy right now. I'll save that for the weekend. I'm supposed to meet my girl Miko(Posse member number 3) at Borders at 3( I hope that damn delivery man is here before then). By the way, that isn't her real name. We met in school and she decided that since school was a new chapter in her life and she wanted to leave the past behind, she would make a new start, complete with new name and all. Her real name is rather plain and ordinary but we all agree that "Miko" has a bit of mystery to it. It's funny because everyone that knew Miko before school, refers to her by her real name. It is just odd to hear people calling her that because I have only known her as Miko. I really dig that thought process. I wish that I had thought to do that. I would've gone by my nick-name. I know you are wondering what it is but :::singing:::: "I'll never tell. I know that I have had this nickname for as long as I can remember. I really hated it growing up. All of my relatives still call me this when I visit and I thought it was sickening. Now I love it and I think it fits me to a tee. Yeah, I know I've really stoked your curiosity now, but Nope, still not telling. Yeah!! Delivery man just called and will be here in about 15 minutes. It's after 2 and that leaves me less than an hour to get dressed, grab a latte, and get over to Borders. It's nice out today too! Woo hoo!
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Friday, December 01, 2006

What the Heezy!





What is going on with this weather? Just this past Wednesday folks were out and about with tank tops and flip flops on. Thursday it's 30 degrees out and today we have a blizzard that threatens to deposit 8-10 inches! What is up with that? Thank God we didn't get that much where I am but some parts of the state did. I must admit, it looks gorgeous out but I do not enjoy going out and cleaning off my car, bumper to bumper traffic, people who creep and crawl because they are scared to drive in the snow and slip/sliding across the free world in an attempt to get to Wal-mart. Not to mention it threw a monkey wrench in my plans to get it worked out...errr..ummm...I mean go work out *wink*. I was so getting spoiled by this lovely weather.(I mean no coat,sandals kind of lovely) I guess its offical huh? WINTER IS FINALLY HERE!!
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Sunday, November 26, 2006

Oh the sheer madness

Neva, eva, eva again....I let Miko drag me out yesterday into the Black Friday Madness. We went to Wal-Mart of all places!! Thank God we were fortunate enough not to have any incidents at the store but I am totally shocked at the reports that I have been seeing on the news of people getting trampled and tackled to the ground on their quest to get some bargains. Best Buy is absolutely ridiculous, I wouldn't even attempt to go there for an advertised big sale day. They arrested a 39 year old man for fighting in the line...that's right, a big, grown azz man!! I really didn't have anything in mind that I particulary wanted or needed but you know, Miko is my girl so I had to be there for her. She was going for the 50" plasma TV for $500 I think...(which is a bargain) and because she sees the frenzy going on for the laptops she just had to have one of those too and of course, she talked me into getting one as well. $398, you can't beat that! Of course it doesn't have top of the line specs but it is a good backup for me for the things that I use it for. Plus, when I get tired of it, there is always...Duh DUh Duh Duhnnnn....You guessed it, EBAY!!! I simply cannot believe that Miko had me up and out the door by 1:30 A.M. By the time we got into the store I felt like a human icicle. Miko thrives off of shopping and the whole crowd thing. I have to admit that I did find all of the hoopla,frenzy, and being the first to get a bargain a little bit thrilling too. So now I'm home just relaxing and then I remember that I haven't posted in a few days ,so,Tadaaa...here I am. Right now I need a stiff drink and an even stiffer--well, umm, you know. I haven't had any in a while. Trying to be a good girl, and Now I am horny as hell. I'm glad that I turned off my ringer because if I hear the bass of a sexy male voice who knows what or who i'm liable to do. I am going to kill my girl "J" and her stupid ideas. She promised to give us $50 if we could stay celibate for a month. No dick, no tongues, fingers,toys, veggies, no anything. Of course we all jumped at the opportunity to prove that we rule our bodies and that our bodies do not rule us. So far, we have all managed to stick it out and we only have a few days left until this month is up. One thing I do know is that come December first, someone will be in for the time of their life because I will be riding the shyt out of them lol. (Maybe that was a little too much info) Anyway,I guess I will just fix me something to eat and then get some much needed rest. After putting up with family (some of whom I haven't seen in ages) I really, need some downtime. Don't you just love the holidays?
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Saturday, November 18, 2006

Damn , damn, damn!!!

So here I am staring at my closet trying to figure out what I am going to wear tonight knowing my ass would really prefer to stay at home and chill. I got up at the crack of Dawn and hit the gym and needless to say, after my 2 month long absence, I'm still feeling that workout. I have no idea how I always manage to let J talk me into stuff that I really had no intention of doing but she has a way of making you feel guilty and throwing old shyt up in your face so once again, I acquiesced. Now here I am tired as hell, not really feeling up to the baby thugs, bammas, or whomever else I may be likely to encounter at said club. I just hope this is a mature crowd because I am really not in the mood for the 21 year old hip hop heads. I hope my request for a mature crowd doesn't turn around and bite me in the ass because last time I said I didn't want to be out and about with the youngins, my girl had me up in the club with dudes who were the age of my grandfather. Leisure suits, suspenders, toothless , the whole nine. I could've slapped the shyt out of her when I walked in that place but I'm a big girl, I handled myself rather well and just enjoyed myself in spite of..... It wasn't so bad partying with the old timers though, they're not stingy with the drinks and they aren't all up in your face trying to get some either. Had my girl in there talking about "you aren't a real woman unless you can drink tobasco sauce straight." I just looked at her crazy azz and let her handle that. *Sigh* back to tonight. I guess I'll settle on my skinny jeans, black stilletto boots(since I don't plan on doing much of anything but getting my drink on) and some kind of cleavage bearing shirt. lol Gotta bring the sexy back nahimean?
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Friday, November 17, 2006

The return of the macktress

Yes I am back from my hiatus. I haven't had much energy to do anything other than work and sleep. I don't know what is up with me but I am literally drained. I need to get my azz back in the gym stat because when I was working out I always felt great, energy was through the roof and I never felt the urge or need to go to bed early (which currently has been around 9 or 10ish).

Okay, this is the craziest shyt I haveheard all week. My girl and her crazy ass wanted to me to go to Best Buy with her so she can get a Playstation 3 and sell it on Ebay for a grip. I said "Bish, are you crazy?". Those fools have been camped out in tents and shyt since Tuesday. She was serious though and really thought I would get in line with her. She told me that she was going to take off work today and see if she could cut somebody to get one. I tell ya, that girl has no sense whatsoever. Folks have been getting shot and trampled on and she wants to go down there in the midst of that lunacy and then try to cut in front of somebody? I hope I don't see her azz on the news and believe me I have been looking. Please!!!

On another note, I had to put FWB on punishment. His azz has been trippin' hard and I am not the one, hell we aren't even together,technically! We have a sort of You scratch my back, I'll scratch your type of thing going on but a brotha is starting to get too controlling. Had to cut him off for a spell so he can really know what's up. The bad thing is that by cutting him off I cut myself off too and a sista needs her back blown out something fierce! Yeah it would be easy for me to go out and find someone to fill in while he's in the dog house but I am not about the random dick AT ALL!!! I stick to what's familiar wether we are together or not. If we're trying to build something then that's cool but to just go out and let any random nigga sample the goodies is a no no!! (unless I'm drunk and out of my mind. lol Nah, not even then. I've come close to doing the one night stand thing a few times but that's what I have my girls for, to slap some sense into me when I'm acting up. lol They've come through for me everytime and I really appreciate that, Hell I've done the same for them on many an occasion.
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Friday, September 29, 2006

Lessons in Life: What I have learned today!

Now I know this may be a little too much information for some but I am the type of person that if I can help someone by giving them a little advice or something, I'm all for it. I'm posting this life lesson in the hopes that I can possibly save someone from making the same mistake that I have made:

LIFE LESSON 1:



Do Not... I repeat, DO NOT eat Flamin' hot anything. That includes, Cheetos, hot fries, Lays, or anything else labled "flamin' hot". It will light your ass up!! I mean it, your behind will seriously be on fire. As for me, lesson LEARNED !!!!
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Saturday, September 23, 2006

Grrrrrr.....!!!!!! The Nerve!

The NERVE of them!!!! Don't get me wrong, I love my job and all,(well I love the money they pay me) but I simply cannot believe that they had the audacity to call me into the office ASAP on MY DAY OFF!!! Not only that, but I am required to put in an appearance tomorrow as well!!! I understand that Monday is a big day and all but isn't it enough that I devote 8+ hours of my life to them Monday through Friday? Do they now have to infiltrate my weekends too? I was highly upset! I know it's getting down to crunch time, but this is the weekend dammit! I went in at 8 A.M. and left at 1 today and tomorrow I have to make it in an hour earlier.

Anyway, the one saving grace of this day is that I was able to meet up at the spa with my girls. The massage alone was well worth it. You all know how I love to be felt up and rubbed down lol. Anyway, in addition to the massage, I had a facial, manicure and pedicure. I wanted to get my hair done also but the wait would've been over an hour so I have to do that next time. I'm just wierded out. It feels so wierd being home at this hour on a Saturday night. Either I'm out or I have people over, one of the two but alone? NEVER!!! I guess I'll just enjoy my solace. I just took a bubble bath and am sitting here in my terry robe, footies (yeah the kind with the ball on the back don't act like you don't know)and my hair wrapped up in a towel. When I'm finished here, I'm going to have a mojito and curl up with a good book. Reading and orgasms are two sure fire ways to get some ZZZZZ"s. At least for me they are. I'll settle for the reading tonight though. I don't want to happen upon a weak moment and end up inviting FWB over and have him keep me up all night.

Now that I think about it, spending alone time is something that I need to do more often. Yes! I think that I will dedicate one or two nights a week just to myself. I'll turn off my ringer,order in, watch movies, blast my music, jump on the bed, walk around the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want to do!!! It has been long overdue. I think in my partying and socializing I kind of lost sight of the things that I used to love to do. I love art...all kinds. I love to draw and sing(yes I can sing and I do sound good!) I had even begun painting a little bit and put all of that off because my socializing and working took up all of my time. My one true love though is photography. I absolutely LOVE it!!!. There is something about being in a darkroom. The chemicals, the red light, placing the film in the developer and swishing it around...all so empowering. Man I so miss that. Black and white photography is my favorite. I actually got into it when I was in junior high. Thanks, in part, to a summer program in which I was involved. The love that I had for it then actually stuck with me over the years. I really thought that I would end up being a photographer. Well that was my dream, yanno? Traveling all over the world and telling a story with no words... Just pictures? That would be so amazing but unfortunately that love seemed to have fallen by the wayside! Hey, I wonder if it is too late to go for it? Does anyone ever really realize their dreams or does it just happen to a select few by some sort of fluke? Nevertheless, I think I will enroll in a photography course to brush up on my skills.

One good thing is this online journaling. Really exhilarating. I've always kept a journal ever since I was a little girl. I had one bad habit of writing everything down and I do mean everything. I have a somewhat nosey mother and she found it twice and read it. Can you believe that, a mother actually reading her daughter's journal? Lol!!! I can laugh about it now but believe me, with some of the things I had written in that journal it was no laughing matter and I tend to get very explicit and detailed. (She found some condoms in my drawer once too but that's a whole 'nother story) Anyway, I was kind of put off after that so slowly but surely I got out of writing in it but this is a good substitute even though I am no where near as forthcoming and detailed as I would be if this was for my eyes only. Anyway, I have my mojito, my book, my bed and my J-O-B (dammit!!) waiting for me so I guess I will call it a night. I might engage in a little....On second thought, that might not be such a good idea. Nighty Night!
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Friday, September 15, 2006

The one that got away...or shall I say I threw away.

Life has gotten in the way and kept me pretty much hemmed up this week. Haven't had too much time to do anything lately including 'net time. Last night I was on my way home from no where special and this song came on the radio. I usually listen to a lot of oldies when I'm driving but this song came on and instantly the memories came flooding back. Isn't it amazing how something so simple can trigger memories of things that you had long since forgotten? I'm not sure but I really believe that this man was my one true love. Now I've been in love (at least I thought it was love) about 2 other times but I really, I mean really loved this particular young man...still do. Unfortunately, distance and new relationships kept us apart after our break but I really and truly believe that I will probably always love this man. It's unreal how much I think about him and it has been some years since we've been together, much less talked to one another. Of course I'm not spending every waking hour focusing on him but every so often, something will trigger a memory and there he is, invading my thoughts. Here we are again, today and he has been on my mind ever since I heard that song last night. Now I'm wondering how he is doing, what he looks like now, is he married, does he have any more kids, is he still teaching, do I ever cross his mind,is he still in Philly or did he move to VA like he always wanted to? I'm not one to dwell on the past but like they say, you never really know what you had until it's gone and in my case it's been gone for quite some time. I guess I'm just holding on to the memory of him moreso than the hope of holding the man himself. It's just weird how the simplest things like a song, a smell, a phrase, or a particular food can bring this rush of nostalgia back. Yes, I've been in relationships since him and No, I am not comparing every man that I meet to him but I can't help but think that in my youthful irresponsibility and carefree wayfaring, I may have chosen MR. Right Now as opposed to MR Right. Ah well.... la vida sigue!! No time for what ifs I suppose, reality calls...shall I answer? Do I really have a choice?
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Friday, September 08, 2006

A Time to Chill!!


I have about another hour at this place and then I will be heading for home. This weekend, I decided to take a little bit of time for myself. No company, no phone calls, no going out, no bothers, no men, no friends and no worries PERIOD!!!. I am heading to a little bed and breakfast all by my lonesome. I haven't told anyone(well I will call my mother and let her know the name and number of the place where I'll be staying) and I am purposely leaving my celly at home. I just need to relax and unwind and spend some alone time. I don't plan on doing much of anything other than enjoying my solitude. I may catch up on a few movies, read some books, write a little bit, take some walks... who knows. I haven't quite decide If I am going to take my lappy with me (as I may or may not have mentioned before, it goes everywhere I go) As of right now, I'm leaning towards leaving it where it lay, after all, the internet will be there when I get back. The bed and breakfast is about an hour drive for me. I was seriously thinking about taking the bus or train (don't much feel like driving) and I haven't been on a train in forever. I really enjoy train rides but since it is getting down to crunch time, I may as well just drive. If I enjoy myself enough and decide to make this my regular get-a-way spot,I will definitely plan in advance and take the train.
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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Agree or disagree?

Still recouping from my extended weekend so for now this will suffice. I don't necessarily agree with the majority of this but I found it to be extremely amusing.
This is a list of rules that guys wished women knew...

1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.

2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

3. Don't make us guess.

4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you.
Live with it.

6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."

7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not
different, it's just like every other cat.

8. Dogs are better than cats.

9. Sunday = Sports.
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.

11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

12. You have enough clothes.

13. You have too many shoes.

14. Crying is blackmail.
Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

15. Your brother is an idiot.

16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

17. No, he doesn't know what day it is.
He never will.
Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

18. Share the bathroom.

19. Share the closet.

20. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

22. Nothing says 'I love you' like sex in the morning.

23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

24. Check your oil.

25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

26. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

27. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

28. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing
from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

29. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

31. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women,
how can we know how pretty you are?

32. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

33. You can either ask us to do something OR
tell us how you want it done-not both.

34. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their
right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

35. Don't make 50 rules when 35 will do.
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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Last night, FWB and I went out to this little neighborhood spot where his boy bartends. It was cool, we got our drink on, chatted, and just kicked it until the wee hours of the morning(which in reality was only 10:00 P.M. lol because I had to be at work this morning) Before he dropped me off, we decided to go to IHOP because we were both feeling a bit famished...Plus, those funnel cakes were calling a sista loud and clear. We get there and we are heading towards a booth. While I'm walking, this cat is trying to holla talking about " Damn shawty, you looking good this evening girl". I look over and there are about 6 thugged out cats (beaters, sagging jeans, drawz showing, cornrows, the whole nine) crowded into this little booth. I don't respond and we keep walking towards our table. We are looking over the menu and dude comes and sits across from us at the empty table and says "What's your name shawty? You should come and sit with us?" I say "Excuse me, but do you mind? Can you not see that I am with someone?" Then he says "Fuck that nigga!" And I say "That is exactly what I plan to do tonight if we ever get the opportunity to order and eat without interruption." dude walks away calling me various bitches... all the while I'm looking at FWB who hasn't parted his lips AT ALL. Instead, he says "Let's go, I'm not hungry." I'm like "Well I am" and he says "We can go somewhere else." I oblige him and get up off my ass and proceed to follow him out of the place amidst those trifling negroes still talking shit and doing it rather loudly. I asked him why we were leaving and he said he just didn't feel like eating there. I couldn't help but feel a bit miffed because this cat just sat there and said nothing. I was hurt because I kind of wanted him to say something, defend my honor(so to speak) but instead he let this dude punk him ( may or may not have been true but that is how I saw it at the time) He offered to stop and get a burger somewhere and I declined (I wanted that funnel cake dammit) He dropped me off and I just hopped out the car, no goodbye , no see ya later, no nothing. Talk about a sista being pissed. I spent dayum near half the day today wondering why this dude didn't even attempt to say anything. Now this isn't the first time something like this has happened. One time, we were going to a B Ball game. It was hot as hell outside and I had on these short (alright they were kind of short but not that damn short) but anyway, this negro insisted that I change my clothes. I told him that I would not, we were just going to a basketball game at the school gym and since the day was almost over, it made no sense to change out of my tank top and shorts. He told me that I better change because he wasn't trying to be getting into it with no niggas over me. Again, I refused and do you know that he did not go to the game? (well it isn't the same scenario but I thought that was kind of a drastic stance given that he didn't even know if anyone would be paying me any mind) Anyway, back to the IHOP incident. I had to call him and ask him and he said that he is too old to be out there trying to fight 6 niggas. He felt that the best thing to do was just to leave and while I sort of, kind of understand his point..I'm still a bit hurt by his actions or lack thereof. Deep down I know that he couldnt really do anything with 6 cats when it was only 1 of him plus me . Hell yeah!! I would've jumped on a few backs or lit a couple of cojones up with my stilettos or something. ( I gets live fo' my nigga...what? What? J/k about the gets live part) and I really didn't expect them to start throwin' bows up in the IHOP but dayum, can I at least get a "Fuck you back nigga" or something? I need a man that I can feel safe with, someone who, when the shyt gets to poppin' off, is there to have my back. (doesn't matter if my mouth is the thing that got the shyt started in the first place) Right or wrong,I need someone who is down for me. What if someone tried to rob me, snatch me up or something? Is he just gonna stand around and let said robber/snater-upper do what he wants, not say anything, not do anything? I need to feel protected and last night that feeling was no where to be found. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Looks Like My Intuition was right on with this one.


So John Mark Karr's DNA Didn't match. Why am I not surprised? From the first moment that I saw this man's mug all over the news,something just really didn't sit right with me. I have always doubted that he was the murderer. Crazed...possibly, weird...definitely, but murderer...Nahh! I also figured that even though he wasn't responsible for Jon Benet Ramsey's death, because people really wanted to finally bring this mystery to an end, they would find some way to pin it on him anyway. They let him go but really, what would be an appropriate punishment for this man for straight up lying like that? He is obviously a very disturbed young man and for him to be allowed to go free and move on with his life just doesn't seem appropriate to me. This man lied, wasted tax payers dollars being flown from Thailand to Los Angeles to Colorado, Feasting on lobster, duck and champagne and shyt. Now you know that just isn't right. For a grown man to be obsessed with a little girl is abnormal in itself and since he obviously has child molesting tendencies, I think he definitely needs some type of counseling as well as a psychiatric evaluation. Yanno,nip that shyt in the bud before he really does take it a step further and rape and kill a child. (So far they've only got him for child porn) As far as jail time, I do think he needs some type of imprisonment but not in the penal system. He's so frail and feminine looking, he wouldn't last one night. Maybe a mental instituion would be better suited to his needs. I just want to really know why he did it...confessed. Attention seeking? 15 minutes of fame? Notoriety? I can't call it. I think that is the part that didn't make the most sense to me. Why confess if you have gotten away with murder for 10 years? Not only that, but he was safely out of the country at that! Now I know guilt is a strong emotion and the power of God is by far stronger but unless he had some type of religious epiphany, I really can't see the point in a confession. Just my ponderings this A.M.
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Sunday, August 27, 2006

Memories


Today my girls and I went to the spa. Sundays are usually reserved for the spa but I haven't been in about 3 weeks. After today, you can best believe my ass will be there every Sunday from here on out! I really needed to be rubbed down, pampered, and just doted on! I didn't realize how much I really, really needed that. It also gave me a chance to spend some quality time with the girls catching up on gossip and shyt. Not that I don't talk to those heffas every day and see at least one of them daily, but you know it's hard to get all of us together without putting forth plenty of effort and aforethought (especially since one of the crew is now bogged down by the old ball and chain.) I hated to leave such a relaxing environment but they would've had to start charging me rent had I not decided to carry my ass home. I look great, I feel great, relaxed and mellow and my skin looks and feels like Butta~~~ Butta, I tell ya! So I get home and I'm just chillin', sippin'on a JD twisted and watching Ghost ( don't act like ya'll don't know about the Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Whoopi Goldberg flick) and I hear the phone ring. The caller ID says cellular call (gotta love the caller ID, can screen mofo's 'til my hearts content) and I recognize the area code as being that of Philly. I answer the phone and since the voice isn't familiar to me..I do my speil of "who's calling" blah, blah, blah. Turns out to be an ex whom I haven't spoken to in about 4 or 5 years. Why did he call and want to read some love letters that I had written to him over 10 years ago? lol It's so weird how things like that can affect you. Now mind you, I haven't spoken with this particular young man in years, much less thought about him, but since we hung up, he has been on my mind way to much. We had a some what volatile relationship. Back then, I was truly a party girl and all we did was drink, smoke and fuck. Man, we had some mind blowing sex. Whew Chile!!! Did we have some dayum good sex! ( got me reminiscing and shyt haha!) But we all know a fuck ( no matter how mind blowing) does not a good and solid relationship make. We vowed to keep in touch though...well he did since it's no big secret that I'm extremely bad about calling folks. He is supposed to call me later on. I seriously would never consider getting back together with him. I did see him a few years back. I was in Philly visiting a friend and she and I had a falling out. I guess she called herself kicking me out of her house so she called him to come and pick me up. He did and was in the process of carrying my bags to his car when we made up and I decided to continue my visit with her. I wasn't too attracted to him then because he had changed so much since the time we were together. I can say this though, he is doing well, financially and in his career. Much better than he did when he was with me (which isn't too hard to do because he wasn't doing shyt when he was with me.) Now he's damn near making 6 figures and talking about getting his Masters to boot. Ain't that some shyt though? When we were together all this man could think about was eating, drinking, smoking and fucking. I'm proud of him though and secretly I take pleasure and some of the credit for him finally getting on the grind and doing something with himself. I held his ass down while we were together, put up with all of his BS,listened when he needed an ear, gave advice, cheered him on and loved him unconditionally when he was at his lowest (I'm talking rock bottom, suicidal shyt here.. I guess the military really does fuck with a brothas mental) I'm pleased at how far he's come and I am so happy that he is doing well. I also know how Bey feels with the thought of another bitch reaping Her rewards which brings me to my next question: Why is it that guys don't want to do shit while they are with you but as soon as you break up they then decide to get their shit together? Maybe if he had been on the ball like he is now, we would've still been together. Nahhh I doubt it. He had major issues and drama and I had some baggage of my own. In hindsight, I now realize it never would've worked (and to think we both thought we would be married to each other by now)I couldn't trust him. He cheated on me and even though I tried to forgive him I just couldn't and that was it for us. Anyway, I do wish him well but now I'm hungry so let me go rustle me up something to eat or better yet, have someone pick me up some food from my favorite bistro! I'm feeling like a slammin' greek salad and some french bread right about now!
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Friday, August 25, 2006

Random Thoughts...cause my shit is all over the place today

~~If this Bytch says "You let that be the reason" one mo'time...
~~So what, you read a muthafuggin' book
~~We all know you got that shyt from Vickie Stringer
~~Come up with something new because you are wearing the hell out of that phrase.
~~Once? twice? possibly three times...alright,but after every word you say?
~~Bytch Puhleeze! Definitely time to update
~~Dude, fall the hell back because I am not feeling you like that
~~Don't pucker up your damn lips and stick your face in my car window
~~Talking about "Where is my kiss?"...Are you mad?
~~You crazy as hell if you think those lips could eva touch mine
~~and if you put your hand on my thigh again...
~~I will be forced to slap the shyt out of you!
~~You ain't slick nigga!
~~Yeah, you are cool as hell, you are funny as hell,
~~Plus, you keep me laughing on the regular
~~Too bad my ass is shallow, other wise you "might could" get it
~~Maybe even on the strength of your sense of humor alone
~~Everybody knows I love me a man with a great sense of humor
~~Be happy with my friendship which is all I'm willing to offer you...Will ya?
~~Why did this chick just yell "Wassup Mi" and flash me a quick smile
~~Now, I know, I just know I did not see a grill up in this bytch's mouth
~~You work the information desk for the entire building
~~which houses big time movers and shakers, at that
~~You deal with the public all day every day
~~You ARE the first impression chica.. and you are white at that!
~~I just know I don't see a dayum grill in your mouth
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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Leave The Game Playin' to the kiddies

So, I was talking to my co-worker today (yes, I am back at work and hating every minute of it. I am so ready to retire, but since I am not anywhere near retirement age, I'll take the next best thing and become a kept woman...anyone want to keep me? lol) But anyway, my co-worker was telling me that she is going to divorce her husband. Truth be told, I think it is because she just recently got promoted and now that she makes more money than he does(How much more? I have no idea) she thinks he is not good enough for her. She says she doesn't THINK that is the reason (keyword here is think) and even if it is, she also thinks that he is too weak. I told her that she better think twice because there are plenty of women ready and willing to fill her shoes. She says she really doesn't care and then she tells me that she and the hubby were conversing and he asked her if she was seeing anyone. She told him yes, and he then asked if they were sleeping together. Again, she said "Yes" and just to add more fuel to the fire, she also told him and I quote "And it was damn good too." Just like a bish to rub salt in the wound, isn't it? My jaw was damn near on the floor because I know for a fact that this is a good man. I also know the things that she did to get this man and now she wants to complain because a muthaplucka is too nice or weak as she put it? But anyway, she was pissed because this man did nothing... had virtually no reaction(at all) to her admission of guilt. I told her that maybe he was just tired of the bullshit. Not everyone is into game playing or maybe he is just as tired of you as your are of him. She said "Yeah, but most men would've smacked their woman if she said something like that" and I said "Is that what you want? Him to beat your ass over it?" She said "No" and I said "Well really, what could he do? Yeah, he could've beat your ass up and down the block but really, would that change anything?" I thought about it some and if it were me and my man told me that shit, I'd probably say "Okay" and keep it moving. Why act a fool and get pissed off over something that you have no control over and can't do anything about? Shoot, if a dude don't want you he don't want you and the same goes for a woman. The only thing left to do is "Be out" and move on with your life. I swear, some women really love drama! Always complaining about not being able to find a man and when they get one, "He's too nice, he's too weak" or some other lame excuse of why the relationship cannot be. Puhleeeze, miss me with the bullshit. I was listening to Michael Baisden yesterday on my way home from work and he posed these questions: Do women want a roughneck? Do nice guys really finish last? When I was in my teens I was a subscriber to the "Too nice" thing too but as I've matured, I have come to realize that nothing good can come of a relationship with a rough neck, thug, or whatever they are calling themselves these days. I would've run over the nice guy (literally) just to get to the thug. Something about the type, I found exciting(still do), but now give me the nice guy anyday. As for the co-worker, she is dead set on leaving her man and I advised her to give it plenty of thought before she sets the wheels in motion because the grass on the other side of the fence may be just as dried out and wilted as your own lawn. As for him, happiness and living well is the best revenge. I know she would be sick about it if she ever saw him with another chick on his arm.
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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Ring The Alarm

Yeah yeah, I know I've missed a few days but I needed each and every one of them to recup from that pawty I went to. The Cristal and Moet was flowing freely and my dumb behind felt the need to drink until I couldn't drink anymore. On top of that (since I'm really a beer girl at heart) I was mixing it with the liquor and well ya'll know where I ended up. Hugging that porcelain throne. I mean dayum, I haven't been like that since my college years and I never ever want to get like that again. My head was thumping for 2 days straight and I couldn't really tell ya what else happened that night. I didn't really see any celebs. A few rappers and a couple of ballers (couldn't tell ya who they were ) but anyway, that's that.

So Beyonce's second video was released... "Ring The Alarm." (check it out below if you haven't already)


Despite the Carmen Jones-esque rapping/screaming/singing delivery(and Ya'll know I'm talking abpout her MTV performance and not the performance of Ms. Dorothy Dandrige),I kind of like the song. All I want to know is WTF did Jay do to Bey or is it "Sasha" this time? I mean dayum!!! He must've put the "jammy" on her and now he got her going crazy... threatening peeps and thangs. She may as well have gone on and said Rhianna's name since we all know that is who this little ditty is directed at (don't act like ya'll haven't heard the rumors and buzz about Jay and Rhi Rhi) I ain't mad at ya Bey though. That's yo shyt girl, g'wan and claim your man. Let them other hoes know what's really up!! I don't know who comes up with the concept for her videos because lately they have been a bit wack and lacking. Okay Okay, I am seeing a hint of a Basic Instinct theme but yet and still, Bey needs to stick to sangin ' and leave the videos to the pros if this video vision was all her. Let someone else come up with a story line, concept, theme or something. Because those random spastic shots ain't gonna get it. The bish looks good (as always) and It's a step up from Dejavu but come on now, is that really saying much?



Oh, one more thing since I missed my Flava of Love update. I'm so fuckin' glad that spunkeey is gone! That hatin' ass bish needed to be gone with the quickness and I got my wish. I mean dayum! There ain't that much hating in the world but somehow that corny chick managed to slam every other female on the show. I 'm glad Flava saw through her gimmick and sent the hoe packing..but I gotta give it to her though. She played her role to the hilt... even conjoured up some fake ass tears to boot..but alas her 3.5 seconds of fame are up so ummm...Spunkeey(aka Maria Dunbar),You are the weakest link..... Buhbye Bish!!!




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