Ladies Keep yourself

So I just found out that a friend that I know has passed away. (The phone keeps ringing with people calling to tell me that she passed.)She was 44 years old.  Now she and I weren't particularly friends per se because she was one of the older girls, but she was a friend of my cousin and since everyone in the neighborhood were either related or grew up together, I refer to her as a friend.  It always saddens me to hear that someone has died.  I mean it just consumes me in such a way that I can't think of anything but their death.  I remember when she had her baby at the age of 16. This baby was so pretty and had the prettiest hazel eyes.  I can remember running over to her house to see the baby and her not wanting anyof us kids to touch her.  (The"baby", who is not such a baby anymore, has since had a child of her own)  Anyway,  I can remember her being rather fast for her age.   I'm not sure but I think she left home not too long after she had the baby and just became wild.  I hadn't seen her in years but I had heard from other family and friends that she was on drugs.  Now what kind of drugs she was doing, I have no idea and I wouldn't even go so far as to call her an addict because I really don't know.  I had also heard rumors of her having AIDS.  I did see her one or two years ago when I went back home for something.  She spoke and I spoke.  She didn't look too good to me, She looked old and thin and I think she was even using a cane to get around.  I felt horrible seeing her looking like that. My family members were telling me that what I saw, was a good look compared to what she had been looking like.  Anyway,  I guess she had been sick and had recovered from her sickness.  She moved back in with her mom and her daughter.  Her daughter didn't like her too much.(I suspect it stems from separation issues)  If you are running the streets, you don't have much time to spend with or care for a child.  She didn't want her to have anything to do with her own grandchild and she also talked plenty shit about her.  She would see her mom walking and drive right on by her.  When I heard that she passed and her family was there, my mind immediately went to her daughter. It would'nt surprise me if she hadn't even bothered to show up from the things that I had been hearing about her. Anyway, she is no longer in pain and hopefully she is in a better place.  It just saddens me to know that she died before her time and from such a horrible disease.  Tragic!

She isn't the only person that I know who died relatively young.  I know another girl who I grew up with( we weren't friends either because she was never allowed outside ) who died at the age of 27 of a drug overdose.  I believe that her parents were so strict on her that she couldn't wait to fly the coup.  She wasn't allowed outside,  always had to wear dresses or skirts(never pants or shorts)  lived in church(which is a good thing) but a child needs to have room to grow.  I, being a child as well, wasn't always the nicest person to her.  I may have teased her a bit as is often the case with children, never realizing how it affected her until years later. My cousin told me that she said that she couldn't stand me.  I'm thinking why not?  The only thing she knows about me is my name.  I never messed with her like that and then I remembered I may have teased her a bit.  Anyway, I guess her sheltered lifestyle caused her to run rampant.  I remember seeing her a few months before she OD'd.  We were in the grocery store and she came and said something to my Aunt.  I couldn't stop staring at her because she looked bad.  Her eyes were bloodshot and yellowed.  I told my aunt that she looked like she had been drinking and my aunt said "Girl, she does everything, drugs too".  I was shocked because I knew how she used to be but then again not surprised.   My Aunt told me they found her dead of a drug overdose not too much longer after that.  She left behind 3 little kids.  I mean under the age of 6.   I guess if I could say anything, it would be "Don't be in such a rush to grow up" Enjoy  your childhood and being a kid while you can.  Everything that you think that you are missing out on will still be there when you are old enough to handle and to enjoy them."  I would hate for anyone else to end up like my acquaintances because they were in such a rush to grow up!

May they both RIP!!!!