Dickey ,Dickey, Dickey

I'm getting spring fever again.  I don't know what it is  about this time of the year that gets me horny as hell.  ( I sat down the wrong way today and caught a feeling so you know I got it bad) I stay fiending for dick this time of the year and that cannot be a good thing since I'm trying to be a good girl.  I'm amazed at how easily I become aroused.  I guess I'm like a dude in the sense that I'm a visual person and with the pretty mofo I saw today..If I had a dick, it definitely would've been hard on sight.  I mean absolutely gorgeous. I gave him nothing more than small, insignificant chit-chat though.  I'm not really in the market for another man to bring me drama that I definitely don't need right now. I go through these phases every now and then and one would think that I've gotten used to it or at least prepared myself for it.  But  no,  I haven't yet learned my lesson.  I'm probably one of the only females that does not and has not owned a vibrator, EVER.  As insatiable as I've been, it's a good thing too because I'm liable to never get up out of bed, or worse yet, I'll have no use for a man.  Like I've said before , this dayum book I'm reading isn't helping at all.  It's putting lustful thoughts and ideas into my head and me having been known to act on impulse on more than one occasion is so not good.  It's taking all my strength to not pick up the phone and call HIM, but I know what would happen if I do.  Why can't some people just accept a situation for what it is, enjoy it for that moment and then let go?  When I meet a new "interest"  and I'm not really interested in being in a committed relationship,  I let it be known up front. Dudes are usually okay with that until they start catching feelings or they want to lay claim to you.  I cannot deal with that shyt right now.  Why can't we just hang out,  fuck from time to time and still be friends.  Yes, I've been on the other side of the coin where I've been told what was up from jump and still made the decision to get involved.  My feelings may have been involved but I knew the deal from the beginning and I appreciated the truth.  Flippin' the script halfway through after the rules have already been laid out.... what part of the game is that?  Anyway, I will not be tempted because although the dick is Très Bien,  the drama that will most certainly follow is not.  Guess I'll pour myself a glass of wine and let my fingers do the walking.  LMAO.  Anyone want to contribute to my vibrator fund?  Yeah, I'm going to put a little donation button on here so I can pick up a little sumpin' sumpin' from Good Vibrations.  I hear they have some good shit there.  Any and all suggestions and donations are welcome.  lol  Nothing too powerful or addictive though.  I don't want someone to walk in and find me keeled over with my clit rubbed off from overuse.  

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I did not have TEXT with that woman

I was just sitting her talking to some co-workers about Kwame Kilpatrick.  I don't Know what it is with these men cheating on their wives and getting caught. Kwame Kilpatrick is being charged with perjury over his lies pertaining to his affair. He deserved to be caught too because he wasn't even smart about it. Text messages? TEXT MESSAGES? C'mon now Kwame, you just wanted to give old girl some evidence to show your wife if and when things went sour between you all. At least Bill made Monica work for her cum stained dress..but you, you want to send a Text Message. I guess he learned nothing from Bill Clinton and his "I did not have sex with that woman" Well he did learn something ....he learned that it didn't work for Bill and it ain't gonna work for him !

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We Need This Type Of Sexy In The White House

So What I jacked these photos from My girl Kizz's  joint....  but Lawdy if  these photos don't make Barack  look sexy as hell!    I love these candid photos because they let us see the laid back, down to earth  side of the man!    

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A sistah is tired as hell

I'm about to head on out in an hour or two to meet the girls for our spa day. Dayum! I'm looking forward to it too because my ass needs to be rubbed, kneaded, massaged and everything else badly. I'm even willing to brave this snow that is coming down in order to get my spa fix. Yes, I said SNOW!  Can you believe it?  Here it is March, Daylight Savings Time is tomorrow, Spring fever is somewhat in the air, and its snowing out!  Unbelievable!  Anyway, back to my spa day.  I am going to get the works..... mani, pedi, massage, mud wrap, facial, scalp massage, erythang!  I need it too and I cannot wait!!!!!  

On Wednesday, I was up for 21 hours straight.  I have never felt as tired as I felt that day.  I was sitting in my ride at the stop light at about 3:30 in the morning  and  I just zoned out.  I remember staring at the light waiting for it to change and then not too much afterwards. I'm petty sure my eyes weren't closed but when I "snapped out of it"  so to speak, I didn't even know if I had sat through some lights or what, that's how tired I was.  That happened to me twice before I made it home.   Before, I could never understand how people could fall asleep at the wheel.  I always wondered why they wouldn't just pull over if they felt sleepy instead of risking having an accident.  Now I fully understand! I've never been that tired before in all my life.  I mean, the closer I got to home, the more physically ill I got.  I had the headache from hell and my stomach felt like it was in knots, all that due to lack of sleep.  When I finally made it in, I barely had enough energy to take off my pants (didn't even bother with  my shirt) and I literally fell into bed.  I coveted those two hours of sleep because I had to get up at 5:30 A.M. the next day.   Yes, I am disciplined like that!  2 hours sleep after  being awake for 22 hours straight, and I still wake up on time:  no alarm clock needed!  *poppin' mah collar*  Needless to say, I was no good to anyone.  Jazzy had the nerve to want to go out last night but I couldn't do it.  I'm still not completely caught up on my rest yet and on top of that, I get to lose an hour tomorrow due to the clocks "springing" forward.  I suspect after I receive the works today, I'll be close to being back to normal and feeling like my old self again.  I promised I would go out tonight but my plans as of now are tentative at best.  Depends on how I'm feeling!

Since I've missed the Old School Friday, last week and this week, I thought I'd leave you with this from the Brand Nubians.  I know ya'll know about Grand Puba..lol  New School hip hop ain't got shyt on the artists from back in the day.   ENJOY!

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To Eat or Not to Eat?......That is the Question.

How important is Cunnilingus to you? To your relationship?  Could you see yourself in a relationship where this was not an option?  How about if you were married and it still was not an option?  I asked mysef these same questions and surprised myself  somewhat.   I guess it would depend on how much I loved the guy.  I guess I could see myself in a relationship where this wasn't an option but that would have to go both ways because If i'm not getting any,  he isn't either.

I love oral sex as long as I am on the receiving end.  I'm very generous with my giving as well but I have to be the one initiating it. (None of that hand on the back of the head shyt trying to coax you down and keep you down.... don't act like ya'll don't know what I'm talking about)

 Ya'll know the type of female that truly enjoys giving head.  I mean she can cum by just making him cum.  Most times she'd rather do that than anything else and her oral fixation is insatiable....well ummm...errrr... that chick is not me.  I don't love it but I don't hate it either.  It really does nothing for me (as I'm sure it isn't supposed to) but I do like the control that I have while doing it. 

 

Anyway, back to my original question.  I think it's safe to assume that most men will lick a little clit now-a-days.  There may be some who will play the role like they don't and they may need a little push but they're down to at least try. While it is a rarity (at least I believe it to be) there may be that one man  that just refuses to go down on you.  He may have had a bad experience with hygiene,  it may be due to his upbringing or he just doesn't believe that the mouth is supposed to be used on the  genitals.  Whatever his reasoning may be, is his refusal to perform Cunnilingus an automatic deal breaker for you or do you think that you could change his mind?

 I think that most men love head way too much to ever totally give it up so in most instances,  once you withhold the "head" games he will be willing to do anything.   In the rare instance that he is just having no parts of giving you a little oral luvin', I would like to think  that I could deal but who knows?   You never really miss or want something until it is no longer available to you and for me, Oral = a sure fire orgasm... EVERY  time, most times in under 2-3 minutes.   If I had to go without, dude's bedroom skills BETTER  be off the chain.  He better be willing and able to go above and beyond the call of duty to make sure I'm satisfied because in most instances, penetration alone will not get me there.

My girls said "If he ain't licking the pussy ain't no need in wasting my time."  They have seemed to reach a consensus that his ass  should and would be kicked to the curb with the quickness because after all, "What man doesn't eat pussy  in this day and age?" I,  on the other hand, would like to think that I'm not that shallow.......  or am I?  All I can say is I hope I never have to find out. lol

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Ladies, We Have Got To Do Better Than This

For those of you who may not know, this is the audition/casting call for Plies' "Bust It Baby" reality show which is possibly in the works.

 

Really Ladies(and I use that term very loosely because ain't nary a one of those chicks in that video a lady"? Is this what we have become? Do we really think so little of ourselves that we would be willing to degrade ourselves in such a way as this? For what? Some face time on a reality TV show? An opportunity to be in the presence of a rapper as long as the cameras are rolling(because he damn sure will not be wifing any of you. The most that you can hope to become is a part time jump off and the chance of you even becoming that is slim to none) Why would any lady want to be referred to as someone's "Bust It Baby"? The term alone should be a turn off as it triggers thoughts of being someone's cum receptacle... that's it, that's all, nothing more! Regardless of whether or not you're a Whore or a Slore, (or in this case , because I don't know these girls personally, give the impression thereof) if that's you, do you, but please, have enough sense not to do it on cam for the entire world to see. You may say "Well I'm young, I'm just having some fun while I still can" but do not the young( or young minded in this instance because these chicks look like grown azz women to me), eventually need to grow up? Do they not eventually become older and more mature...hopefully? Do you really want a keepsake of you stating how you love to feel a penis hitting your tonsils recorded on video forever? What if you find the man of your dreams who happens to be an upstanding citizen and well respected member of the community? Suppose you become such a person yourself? What about future children and Grandchildren? Do you really what them seeing this side of you when your 15 minutes of fame comes back to haunt you (and it undoubtedly will) Trust! I hope not!
Some of the rappers have ben bashed because some believe that their lyrics and videos are contributing to the degradation of women. While that may be true to a certain extent , some of us do a good job of that on our on. We don't need a rapper to degrade us because we degrade ourselves. I don't think that you can blame it on the lyrics of some hip hop artists when we are the ones clamoring to be in the videos, be in the reality Tv shows, be seen with the very same person who called you a video hoe or a bitch in one of his songs. Not only that but we allow ourselves to be seen fucking and sucking, stripping, boasting about our body parts and everything else on cam. C'mon Ladies, We have got to do better than this because this shyt right here, don't make no sense.!

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Ladies Keep yourself

So I just found out that a friend that I know has passed away. (The phone keeps ringing with people calling to tell me that she passed.)She was 44 years old.  Now she and I weren't particularly friends per se because she was one of the older girls, but she was a friend of my cousin and since everyone in the neighborhood were either related or grew up together, I refer to her as a friend.  It always saddens me to hear that someone has died.  I mean it just consumes me in such a way that I can't think of anything but their death.  I remember when she had her baby at the age of 16. This baby was so pretty and had the prettiest hazel eyes.  I can remember running over to her house to see the baby and her not wanting anyof us kids to touch her.  (The"baby", who is not such a baby anymore, has since had a child of her own)  Anyway,  I can remember her being rather fast for her age.   I'm not sure but I think she left home not too long after she had the baby and just became wild.  I hadn't seen her in years but I had heard from other family and friends that she was on drugs.  Now what kind of drugs she was doing, I have no idea and I wouldn't even go so far as to call her an addict because I really don't know.  I had also heard rumors of her having AIDS.  I did see her one or two years ago when I went back home for something.  She spoke and I spoke.  She didn't look too good to me, She looked old and thin and I think she was even using a cane to get around.  I felt horrible seeing her looking like that. My family members were telling me that what I saw, was a good look compared to what she had been looking like.  Anyway,  I guess she had been sick and had recovered from her sickness.  She moved back in with her mom and her daughter.  Her daughter didn't like her too much.(I suspect it stems from separation issues)  If you are running the streets, you don't have much time to spend with or care for a child.  She didn't want her to have anything to do with her own grandchild and she also talked plenty shit about her.  She would see her mom walking and drive right on by her.  When I heard that she passed and her family was there, my mind immediately went to her daughter. It would'nt surprise me if she hadn't even bothered to show up from the things that I had been hearing about her. Anyway, she is no longer in pain and hopefully she is in a better place.  It just saddens me to know that she died before her time and from such a horrible disease.  Tragic!

She isn't the only person that I know who died relatively young.  I know another girl who I grew up with( we weren't friends either because she was never allowed outside ) who died at the age of 27 of a drug overdose.  I believe that her parents were so strict on her that she couldn't wait to fly the coup.  She wasn't allowed outside,  always had to wear dresses or skirts(never pants or shorts)  lived in church(which is a good thing) but a child needs to have room to grow.  I, being a child as well, wasn't always the nicest person to her.  I may have teased her a bit as is often the case with children, never realizing how it affected her until years later. My cousin told me that she said that she couldn't stand me.  I'm thinking why not?  The only thing she knows about me is my name.  I never messed with her like that and then I remembered I may have teased her a bit.  Anyway, I guess her sheltered lifestyle caused her to run rampant.  I remember seeing her a few months before she OD'd.  We were in the grocery store and she came and said something to my Aunt.  I couldn't stop staring at her because she looked bad.  Her eyes were bloodshot and yellowed.  I told my aunt that she looked like she had been drinking and my aunt said "Girl, she does everything, drugs too".  I was shocked because I knew how she used to be but then again not surprised.   My Aunt told me they found her dead of a drug overdose not too much longer after that.  She left behind 3 little kids.  I mean under the age of 6.   I guess if I could say anything, it would be "Don't be in such a rush to grow up" Enjoy  your childhood and being a kid while you can.  Everything that you think that you are missing out on will still be there when you are old enough to handle and to enjoy them."  I would hate for anyone else to end up like my acquaintances because they were in such a rush to grow up!

May they both RIP!!!!

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Weekend? Over? Already?

 

I just came home from church, and then Hooters with the girls, needless to say I am stuffed but we had enough wings that I can have some for dinner tomorrow. I don't really feel like doing much else other than relaxing. I think the "ITIS" has set in. I'm going to attempt to watch a Bball game or two if sleep doesn't catch me first. I sure hate when the weekend is over because it's back to the Monday grind! ~Big Sigh~ This weekend wasn't nearly long enough.

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Pour out a lil' liquor

There are no words ~sniff-sniff~.NOOOOOO! Not Omar!! Mama NNOOOOOOOOO!   I love The Wire and all that, but c'mon! I know they could have done better than that. Kenard? Kenard? Are you F'in kidding me? ~sniff, sniff~ I had a love -hate relationship with you  but even so, I can truly say I'mma miss you man! *pouring out a lil' liquor*

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Old School Friday

Today's old school artist is Das EFX!!! Ya'll remember them? This used to be my shyt back in the day? I'm sitting over here jammin' to some oldies, sippin' on a glass of wine while I try to figure out what I'm going to wear to this poetry slam tonight. Enjoy!

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Mama Noooooooooooooooooo

For those of you who may not know, this is Frankie, Keyshia Cole's mama, yes I said MAMA and believe me I use that term very loosely. I know Keyshia had to be embarrassed as hell. Frankie needs to act a fool on her own time and not at her daughter's fuctions. Better yet, she needs to sit her old ass down somewhere and act her age. She out there in her mini dress, blonde wig/weave (as fierce as that cut is) dancing up on stage at her daughters platinum party( and no she didn't say "Happy ValenTIMES Day". Not only is she dropping it like its hot, she's smacking her ass on top of it. I thought Janice Combs was a hot mess but Frankie has got her beat. Jesus take the wheel...please!

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You Me and She

Okay, So I'm reading this book Something on the Side by Carl Weber.  I'm on page 27 of 390 and already, I have a good idea of what will happen in this story.  It's about these women.  One of whom is married.  So far, she is trying to do something special for her husband's 40th birthday by taking him to Hedonism in Jamaica.  She also wants to take her BFF to Hedonism with them so she can be the third in their ménage à trois.   So far the BFF has declined but I know, Ya'll know what will happen.  First of all she has already broken a few cardinal rules:

• Never let your friends know how good your man is in bed, lest they get curious and want to sample the dick for themselves.
• Never invite another woman into your man's bed ( doesn't matter if you are present or not) Don't do it! Especially if you care for said man and are trying to build something with him.
  
• If you ARE stupid enough to invite another woman into the mix.  At least have enough sense to not let it be a friend or worse yet, your BFF.
  

I know we women like to brag on our men and I know how we are when we get some good dick. We want to shout it from the rooftops and tell anyone that would listen how he put it down. But keep that to yourself when you are amongst friends.  I know you and your girl have been BFF's since Kindergarten but  if she hears about the good dick your man is putting down, how he is blowing your back out every night and how he licks your pussy until you squirt. You dayum right she is going to start to want that in her own life (especially if she ain't getting none and your man is looking right.)  Curiosity killed the cat or in this case curiosity might get her cat killed (by your man) so mums the word on your man's bedroom skills.

You know when we women fall in love, we fall hard and deep. Just make sure you don't let yourself fall deep into a ménage à trois. It's all good if it's you and two dudes but as far as you, your man, and another woman.  DEAL BREAKER!  I won't even go as far as to say that a girl, girl, guy ménage à trois  is automatically off limits, but I will say that if the man is your husband, fiance', long term significant other, or someone that you really love and care for, DO NOT DO IT.  Men can be some slick  mofo's too . They will try to coax you into agreeing to their fantasy  believing that they will wear you down:   "If you  really love me you would do it";  It's just going to be this one time and I'll never ask you again";  "You said you'd do anything for me"  "If you don't someone else will"...well, let someone else do it then because I am not the one.  I said I love you nicca but I am not stupid and I damn sure ain't no fool.  You give in once and then you either got him asking for "Just one more time, I promise" or your girl or your man creeping trying to get another taste.  She may pull out all of the stops on YOUR man and leave you stuck on stupid trying to figure out how she's popping her pussy while giving head upside down  in a back bend or worse yet, He may pull out all of his tricks on her leaving her ass twitching, stuttering and drooling and I know.... you don't want that.  Doubly worse if the chick is an acquaintance or friend.  So to save yourself some heartache or unnecessary worry, when the ménage à trois  involves YOUR  man, leave it alone and just say NO!!!   Just in case my words have fallen on deaf ears( or in this case my words have fallen on blind eyes  peep the pic below:

This Bish on the right (obviously the trois in the Menage) done got the good dick and is already plotting her next move  Look at her sneaky ass.  Ladies don't let this become your situation.

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DO WE REALLY NEED A REASON

Today I was watching this play on BET and one of the actors happened to say something that I found to be rather profound.    He said that while "Women need a reason to cheat, Men just need a location"  and I'd like to add "An Opportunity'' to that quote.  I started thinking about this and I think that it is very true.  In most instances in which a  woman cheats,  the man has given her cause to go looking for someone else.  I can honestly say that I have never cheated on any man that I was in a relationship with nor given him any cause to cheat on me.  I'd much rather cut him off than waste my time playing petty tit for tat , get him back by fucking his friend type games.   That's just the type of woman that I am.  I know my worth and I know that I'm damned sure worth more than a man who claims to love me and want to be with me but yet can't seem to keep himself as well as  parts of his anatomy from straying.

When I do decide to commit to someone, I'm totally and wholly committed.  I don't want , nor do I need anyone else but him.  Now I'm not blind and I may still notice a fine dude or two but nothing, and I mean nothing,  could make me stray.  Now men , they are a totally different species. All they need is a willing participant and it is on.  The chick doesn't even need to look good but as long as she has a hole, again it's on. 

 I have only been cheated on twice( to the best of my knowledge)   Both times I found out about it and as soon as I did.. that was it,  I was done.   

Both men apparently regretted it and attempted to get back with  me but if you don't have sense enough to know what a good woman I am and what a good thing you would be losing before you make the decision to stray, don't count on me being there for you after you come to your senses.  Yes, it hurt to have to cut them off and in one of those instances, it took me a while to get over it but I DID.   To this day, one of these men will do anything that I ask and His wasn't even an instance of sexual infidelity. Once, I called him up and he got up out of his bed , woman lying right next to him, to come and pick me and my girls up and drop us off at our respective homes and then he carried his ass on.  I got off on playing those little games with him for a while but then decided that that wasn't me.  The other , I still keep in touch with from time to time, and he has since told me how much I meant to him and how much of an impact I had on his life.  It felt good to hear that although I've always known that  I was possibly the best thing that ever happened to him.  He'll call and invite me out to visit him. (I always decline his invitations) and then he pretends to be so hurt that I would have no interest in seeing him again. I told him that I can be friends with him and have no problem keeping in touch with him via email, text messages, or the phone but there really isn't a need for us to see one another face to face unless its by happenstance. Hopefully they have learned that the grass isn't always greener and would choose to be faithful to the next female that they decide to get involved with.

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ROCK THE VOTE

I found this to be uniquely interesting. Maybe you will as well!

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Now that  my V Day festivities are over and its the weekend bayyyybay, I can finally take some time to recoup.    My Valentines Day was awesome.  Blow jobs, dancing, laughing, shit talking, hootin', hollerin and just plain old acting a fool.  For ya'll nasty folks that might be thinking of the fellatio blow job, get your mind out of the gutter with your nasty self.  Im talking about the Bailey Irish creme, Amaretto, and whipped cream shots that you take in your mouth ( no hands and Yes!!  You definitely need to SWALLOW) shots referred to as a Blow job.  I'm a beer, Mojito, martini type girl at heart so I was mixing all of the above and throwing them back like  it was water.  Ya'll know I paid for it today right?  I haven't felt like this since my good old college days.  You know how it is when you talk to God and promise that you'll never, ever, ever, drink again if only he would make your head stop thumping and make the contents of your belly stay put.  I don't know what in the hell I was thinking because after that, my ass couldn't do  anything but pray that the room stopped spinning and take my ass to bed.  Didn't even get no dick but I still  had a ball. ~wink~

Not as much fun as a dick but they sure are pretty 

andthey taste OH SO GOOD!

On another note, why did my "friend" call me at 3 or 4 something in the morning.  I don't really know what time he called but I do know after the evening that I had,  it was TOO DAYUM EARLY for me.   Anyway, he called talking about can he come over because he wants to "taste" me.  I was like "Excuse me?"  and he said "Come on, you know you want that pussy licked."    I had to introduce that nicca to my friend Tone  because he knows I don't play that shit.  Unless you are my man and we are in the midst of fucking or trying to, don't call me at an ungodly hour asking me can you lick anything on my body.  I find that disrespectful since he and I have never gotten down like that.  Besides, I remember when there was a time that a dude wouldn't even admit that he ate pussy now niccas are using it as a pick up line WTF?   Same with females.  Please, back in the day  you'd be hard pressed to find a chick  who admitted to sucking dick but now they wear that shit proudly.  Say it loud:  I suck dick and I'm proud.  lol   When I sober up a bit more his ass will definitely be hearing it from me.  If he even remotely had a chance to  taste my goodies,  it's all but gone now  cause dude definitely got some 'splainin to do.  Anyway,  It's friday night and I'm about to pop a Tylenol and take my ass to bed.  Dayum shame because it is only 9:22 but I want to be able to enjoy my spa day tomorrow and if I'm still feeling the remnants of this hangover, I'm going to be one pissed bish.   Nighty night!

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Big Thangs Poppin'

So tomorrow is Valentines Day and I haven't as of yet decided what I'm going to do.  Although I'm doing the "casual" dating thing right now I don't have that One special person that I'm obligated to spend VD with. I have several options  but being that it is dayum near the Tundra here, I don't even want to step foot outside these doors.   Not really up for dinner, Not really in the mood for some dude to be all up in my face doing the lovey, dovey thang,  Gifts?  That I'm up for!  Sex?   Hell yeah I'm up for that!  tee hee. I'm seriously thinking about hanging out with the girls this VD.  Hey  the day is about love and I do love my girls.    I'm almost always guaranteed to have a good time with them anyway. 

Miko has been down in the dumps lately because she lost her man, boyfriend or whatever she calls him.  He ended up  getting back with his baby's mama and trying to work things out.  I can understand how Miko feels  but truth be told she was seeing several other men as well.  Miko, is beautiful, bright, and smart so why she is letting this one get her down is beyond me.  I don't think that she really cares that she is no longer seeing him. I think she is mad at the fact that he was the one to break things off with her.... first.   I don't think she has ever been "dumped" before and it is really fucking with her head that someone doesn't want to be with her.    She told me that he has been texting her and calling her but she hasn't returned any of his messages  which is exactly they way she needs to handle the situation..  He wanted to be with his baby mama so let him be with her.   I know she doesn't have any plans so I'm seriously thinking about rounding up the crew and spending the day drinking, laughing, dancing and watching the strippas.  After that, and if I'm feeling up to it, I'll spend the rest of the evening with one of my suitors.  That should leave enough time to have some bubble bath play, some massages, and some good ass dick!  :::big grin:::.  Yeah!!!  I'm liking the sound of that! Now I just need to think of a good gift to give him besides moi!

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What the heck is going on here.

I woke up this morning and cramps had my azz laid out!  I couldn't even get out of the bed let alone make it in to work.  I don't know what is up with that because I haven't had cramps like this in years and I do mean YEARS!

 Now I used to get them really bad, to the point that I would throw-up, sweat, and need to go to the ER so when folks say cramps aren't real, I say you are a muhfuccin' lie!  Anyway, I haven't had one of those sweating, throw-ing up episodes since college and I do not miss them one bit.  

I don't know what is up with me today though because these dayum cramps got me laid up and out of commission.  I'm not feeling this AT ALL.  TMI I know  but hey that's how it be sometimes.

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About my hottie, well.... errr....ummm, somebody's hottie!

As you may or may not know it is cold as hell here.  I don't know how many females I've seen with no hat, no boots, and no gloves.  Just to give you some type of idea of just how cold it is, last week when I left the house, it was -5 degrees. ( and that is without the wind chill factor which would make it seem as if it were about 20 below) These chicks have got to know that it is too dayum cold outside to try to be cute.  I know they were freezing there asses off. Hell, I left the house looking like the abominable snow woman and I was still cold but I digress, this is supposed to be about the hottie.

 After work, I was having this craving for tacos.  I had been  thinking about them all day at work( Yes, these tacos are just that good, and I'm not particularly a taco person) so when I got off, I stop by this little "hood " spot and was surprised to see that as cold as it was out, nukkas was still huggin' the block.  Anyway, I'm trying to find a parking spot close to the restaurant and I see dudes just standing in front of the place near the door, but those tacos were calling my name so its whatever.  Anyway,  I m walking to the place and as I'm walking one of the guys says "Dayum mama , You got some pretty eyes,  a nigga can get lost in them muhfuccas". I said "Thank You, I think" and kept on stepping.  When I got to the door, someone opened it for me, I said thanks and that was that. I really didn't pay to much attention to them because dudes on the block in the cold 24-7 can't do a dayum thing for me.  I'm at the counter ordering and  dude follows me in and says "So,  you got a man, You got a name?"  I said "Excuse me but I'm trying to order, thank you" and he started laughing and says "Oh my bad."  I finished ordering and proceeded to move to the side with my back still turned to the guy hoping he would get the hint that I did not want to be bothered. I was cold, tired, and hungry and with me, those things could equal bitch if I'm rubbed the wrong way.  Anyway, he kept  trying to make conversation asking me if I had a name and I said "I do" then he asked me if I had a man, I must admit, dude was persistent because I know I would not be trying to talk to someone who kept their back turned to me.  My phone started ringing so I reached in my pocket to answer it and my keys fell out.  Dude bent down to pick them up to hand them to me and I turn around to thank him and whooo Lawd. This man was gorgeous!  My nipples even stood up and saluted him!  I mean he had on a hat and a hoodie so the only things that were really visible  to me were his eyes ( albeit through sunglasses) and his mouth.  He had the most beautiful smile I've ever seen and that's no lie.  Pretty teeth, buttery soft skin,( if I had  touched him I bet it would've felt like it)  mustache and goatee and just.... Umm Ummm Ummmm Dayum! I couldn't do anything but stare at him and I wouldn't be surprised if my mouth was hanging open while I was doing it.  Somehow, I managed to thank him for picking up my keys and he just stood there and grinned. He  told me his name and I told him mine and then he asked for my number.  I just totally forgot about the phone call that I was on,   hell that heffa could hold on indefinitely.  I said, how about you give me yours and I'll call you.  He laughed again and said you're a difficult one but okay.  He asked me for some paper to write it on  and I had none so he ended up writing it on a 20 dollar bill.  Lol I had to laugh when he handed it over but he said that was the only paper he had.  I guess that I was  supposed  to be impressed but if he wanted to impress me he could've pulled out about 50  more of them twenties and then I may have  possibly been impressed.  Anyway, this man so had me in a  trance that I wasn't even aware that they called my number to pick up my order.  I excused myself, picked up my order and then he walked me to my car amidst whistles and whoops from his boys.  I thanked him, gave him a smile and a wave and pulled off.  I didn't look back although it took everything in me not to get one more glimpse of that man's beautiful smile.  When I made it home, reality started to sink in.  As much as I love the thug swagger, I simply cannot do the thug thing .  I'm getting too old for that shyt  no matter how attractive he may have been .   With eternal longing and remorse, I think  that it's best that I  erase the man and the number from my memory.  Well, on second thought what can one phone call possibly hurt  I mean really,  This man had my undivided attention once I decided to give him mine and I am so itching to test the waters even though I know he is so not good for me.

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Lawd A'mercy

This morning I decided to stop at McDonald's to get some breakfast and coffee since I didn't have time to make some this morning.  Anyway,   I decided to go inside and fore go the drive thru which is something that I never do.  Anyway, I'm ordering my coffee with all of my 8 creams and sugars.   I taste it and It isn't to my liking , so I ask the girl if she put in my 8 creams and 8 sugars and she tells me yes,  I taste it again after stirring it up and I tell her that she did not.  She then gives me some additional sugars (bitch!  if I wanted to add sugar myself I wouldn't have bothered to go through my 8 creams and 8 sugars spiels) but anyway, I move over to the side so that I can fix up my coffee the right way.   Two older gentleman come into the place and instead of the one  going up to the empty register( no line, no waiting) to place his order, he decides to stand behind me off to the right.  Now mind you, I'm over to the side fixing my coffee and he is behind me yelling that he needs water.  Now I was always taught to respect my elders and the fact that he was being loud in my ear wasn't the main problem that I had with him.  Oh, it was a problem but I  would have been willing to overlook that if it hadn't been for the fact that  every time this man opened up his mouth, I smelled hot garbage.  I mean his breath STANK! I tried to play it off and hold my breath a bit while covering up my coffee with the quickness because I didn't want that funk to invade my drink.  Anyway, I'm scrunching up my face trying to avoid the smell until I just could not take it any more.  I turned around and said "Excuse me but would you mind moving  over a bit?"  and he just looked at me and said  "For what?"   I said not only are you yelling in my ear but you are breathing all over my coffee. He moved over but I could tell that he was none too happy about it.    I tried to hold out as long as I could, I really did, but that breath smelled like straight up stank!    I told my co-worker and she said "Girl I told you to carry those mints with you. If you had done what I said, then you could have given him one or two."  My co-worker is a nut. That woman keeps me giggling on the regular. What am I going to do when this special project is over because I am going to surely miss her and her funny stories.  She also said that and I quote"You know sometimes old  people can't satisfy a woman the way they should so they might need to taste IT a little bit"  so they get down there and taste it and then don't brush their teeth afterwards. breath be smelling like Badussy, boody, ass and pussy!"  She and I both burst out laughing and I know people were looking at us like what the hell has gotten into them. On a new note, I met a little hottie last night but I can't type about that just now as I have work to do and me on the internet is not being productive.  

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We aren't family!

What the hell is going on here?   I texted an ex  just to say "Happy New Year" a few days after New Years.  He texted me back and we went back and forth for a few messages until I stopped responding.  Anyway,  He and I haven't been together in years but we talk intermittently from time to time.  Anyway  A few days after I stop texting him, he calls me.  I was busy at the moment so I couldn't talk to him and said I would phone him back.  Well fast forward to  this weekend .....I still haven't called him back yet but he left a message on my voice mail saying that his mom and sister were in town, he also left their number just in case I wanted to call them.  What in the world would make him think that I wanted to call his mama and sister? We were never cool like that.  Not even when we lived together.  Now I was cordial to them but not in a  just call them out the blue and say wassup type of way.  I was closer to his grandmother than I was his mom or his sister , well his sis was much younger than me so all I would say to her is hi and bye.  Besides I don't want to be stuck meeting up and possibly entertaining them if I did decide to call.  Ahhh well,  He left the message two days ago and due to the fact that I rarely , if ever, check my messages on my home phone,  I have a good excuse for not calling them while they're in town.  I'm just glad he didn't give them my number so they can call me!  

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What did I get myself into?

Only a few more hours and I am out of this joint. I'm supposed to be going out on a "blind" date tonight . I don' know why I let Jazz talk me into this shit because she and I both know that I don't do blind dates. I'm really easy to read and if I'm not feeling dude then he will definitely know it. Not because I'll be blatantly rude or anything like that but because it is extremely difficult for me to feign interest when I'm obviously not. The only reason I agreed to go is because Jazz has met "the finest, most perfect guy ever" *insert eye roll here* because she meets the "finest, most perfectest guy ever" damn near monthly but anyway, she says that they haven't really talked much and he asked her out. Jazzy can be overly cautious( which is a good thing in this day and age) so she told him that she would be bringing a friend and asked if he had a friend and of course he does, what negro doesn't have boys? I told Jazz that I will be driving myself there because I will not be left ass out if she ends up feeling dude a little too much and decides to hang out with him or stay the night with him. Nahhh baby, I will not be stuck depending on said blind date to take me home.. so meet them there , I shall! I really don't have any expectations because like I said before, I'm not into the blind date thing. Really it's just two friends dragging their two friends on a date with them because they fear being alone together. So far the plan is dinner and dancing which I politely informed her isn't such a good idea. I told her to keep it simple and earlier in the day. That way if dude isn't the prince she believes he will be she won't be stuck with him for too long. She's trying to act like she doesn't know wassup!! She knows the rules, when in doubt.....do coffee. Keep it safe and short! *sigh* It's crappy outside ...rainy, dreary, dull and I'm not really in the mood to go anywhere but I'll try the make the best out of it. If all else fails, at least I will be getting my drink on!!!!

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Wanna go all night? Well do ya?

My girl's and I were talking about something I heard on the Steve Harvey Morning show. One of them said that a woman really doesn't want a man who can go on for hours and hours during sex. I started thinking about it and while I have made my fair share of jokes about the infamous "minute man" (having experienced a few episodes where it took me longer to take off my panties than it did for him to cum), I realized that I really don't want a man that can go for hours and hours. Aside from the fact that my shit would be rubbed raw, chaffed and I would be walking bowlegged, If it's taking me that long to cum, then I am definitely not opposed to some help in getting me there whether it be fingers, tongue, or what have you. I am also not opposed to giving out directions, and instructions as needed. Long gone are the days where I fake orgasms tryng to boost up a nukkas ego, If you don't know what you're doing and aren't willing to take instructions and directions, get the hell up and OUT! I'm not trying to fuck for 3 and 4 hours and I know I am not the only one. I'm not multiorgasmic... well as much as I'd like to, I haven't had that "Nirvanaesque" experience of being able to cum more than once during the act..YET. Besides, I'm also a selfish lover. With me it is never really "all about you" unless I'm feeling especially generous that day. I mean, I will work hard to get you there up until it's my time, but my main concern is myself and if it just so happens that I get mine before you get yours. I feel sorry for ya! An orgasm for me is a sure fire sedative and most likely after I achieve one, I will be washing myself up and then rolling my ass on over to get some sleep. I have yet to find the man that would make me want to skip my happy ass in to the kitchen and make ham sandwiches and shyt. Not to say that he isn't out there but I just have't met him yet. Maybe 2008...huh?

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Happy New Year !

I've just returned from visiting family for the Holidays and I want to just let it be known that I am not at all happy to be home. After my little jaunt, I am seriously considering moving back to my hometown. I miss my peoples ya'll I MISS THEM!!!!!! While I didn't really do much ....Yes, you heard right, No partying for ya girl while she was there, I still had a fabulous time. Family will definitely do that for you! So now I'm back here just going through the motions.

I did drag Miko to the mall with me upon my return to get my brows threaded which was an experience in and of itself. Now I had been thinking about getting them done for a while, so I inquired as to the level of pain involved with this process. I was told that it hurts less than waxing and is better because it doesn't involve ripping off a layer of skin as does with waxing. Anyway, I told the chick that I would be back. Two weeks later I head on back to get it done.

I sit in the chair and she is doing something to my brows and I'm pleasantly surprised because I am feeling No pain. Come to find out she was just brushing them or whatever to get them the way she wanted them before she started threading. Well I braced myself (as I do when I get waxed) but lawd. let me tell you all that I was not ready for what I felt. That shit hurt like hell! Like HELL I tell ya. Anyway, My eyes were watering so bad that passersby thought I was crying. The chick threading me asked if this was my first time and I said yes, ya'll lied to me when I asked about the pain. This shit hurts like hell and about 5 times worse than waxing! Anyway, she was nice enough to hand me a Kleenex so that I can dab at the water flowing from my eyes and then she handed me a mirror. I must admit, My brows look fabulous and she did them to my specifications: no thinning, no shaping, just clean them up a bit!. I do plan to have this done again and I'm hoping that the more I have it done, the less pain I feel. Miko just stood there laughing at my comments and sounds but her punk ass decided not to get hers done. I don't understand why because this chick gets bikini waxes, You hear me? BIKINI WAXES, where they get all up in every nook and cranny of the cooch and the booty but the brows are too much for her? I told her I would contemplate getting a Brazilian but if the pain is anything like the brows, and I imagine it wouldd be since my goodies are sensitive, then as of now, I'm thinking HELL NO!!

May the desires f you hearts be fulfilled in '08! Happy New Year!

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