The Misadventures of MiMi

Dickey ,Dickey, Dickey

2008-04-08T20:28:00.008-04:00

I'm getting spring fever again. I don't know what it is about this time of the year that gets me horny as hell. ( I sat down the wrong way today and caught a feeling so you know I got it bad) I stay fiending for dick this time of the year and that cannot be a good thing since I'm trying to be a good girl. I'm amazed at how easily I become aroused. I guess I'm like a dude in the sense that I'm a visual person and with the pretty mofo I saw today..If I had a dick, it definitely would've been hard on sight. I mean absolutely gorgeous. I gave him nothing more than small, insignificant chit-chat though. I'm not really in the market for another man to bring me drama that I definitely don't need right now. I go through these phases every now and then and one would think that I've gotten used to it or at least prepared myself for it. But no, I haven't yet learned my lesson. I'm probably one of the only females that does not and has not owned a vibrator, EVER. As insatiable as I've been, it's a good thing too because I'm liable to never get up out of bed, or worse yet, I'll have no use for a man. Like I've said before , this dayum book I'm reading isn't helping at all. It's putting lustful thoughts and ideas into my head and me having been known to act on impulse on more than one occasion is so not good. It's taking all my strength to not pick up the phone and call HIM, but I know what would happen if I do. Why can't some people just accept a situation for what it is, enjoy it for that moment and then let go? When I meet a new "interest" and I'm not really interested in being in a committed relationship, I let it be known up front. Dudes are usually okay with that until they start catching feelings or they want to lay claim to you. I cannot deal with that shyt right now. Why can't we just hang out, fuck from time to time and still be friends. Yes, I've been on the other side of the coin where I've been told what was up from jump and still made the decision to get involved. My feelings may have been involved but I knew the deal from the beginning and I appreciated the truth. Flippin' the script halfway through after the rules have already been laid out.... what part of the game is that? Anyway, I will not be tempted because although the dick is Très Bien, the drama that will most certainly follow is not. Guess I'll pour myself a glass of wine and let my fingers do the walking. LMAO. Anyone want to contribute to my vibrator fund? Yeah, I'm going to put a little donation button on here so I can pick up a little sumpin' sumpin' from Good Vibrations. I hear they have some good shit there. Any and all suggestions and donations are welcome. lol Nothing too powerful or addictive though. I don't want someone to walk in and find me keeled over with my clit rubbed off from overuse.

I did not have TEXT with that woman

2008-03-25T10:22:00.005-04:00

I was just sitting her talking to some co-workers about Kwame Kilpatrick. I don't Know what it is with these men cheating on their wives and getting caught. Kwame Kilpatrick is being charged with perjury over his lies pertaining to his affair. He deserved to be caught too because he wasn't even smart about it. Text messages? TEXT MESSAGES? C'mon now Kwame, you just wanted to give old girl some evidence to show your wife if and when things went sour between you all. At least Bill made Monica work for her cum stained dress..but you, you want to send a Text Message. I guess he learned nothing from Bill Clinton and his "I did not have sex with that woman" Well he did learn something ....he learned that it didn't work for Bill and it ain't gonna work for him !

We Need This Type Of Sexy In The White House

2008-03-12T10:00:00.007-04:00

So What I jacked these photos from My girl Kizz's joint.... but Lawdy if these photos don't make Barack look sexy as hell! I love these candid photos because they let us see the laid back, down to earth side of the man!

A sistah is tired as hell

2008-03-08T08:01:00.007-05:00

I'm about to head on out in an hour or two to meet the girls for our spa day. Dayum! I'm looking forward to it too because my ass needs to be rubbed, kneaded, massaged and everything else badly. I'm even willing to brave this snow that is coming down in order to get my spa fix. Yes, I said SNOW! Can you believe it? Here it is March, Daylight Savings Time is tomorrow, Spring fever is somewhat in the air, and its snowing out! Unbelievable! Anyway, back to my spa day. I am going to get the works..... mani, pedi, massage, mud wrap, facial, scalp massage, erythang! I need it too and I cannot wait!!!!!

On Wednesday, I was up for 21 hours straight. I have never felt as tired as I felt that day. I was sitting in my ride at the stop light at about 3:30 in the morning and I just zoned out. I remember staring at the light waiting for it to change and then not too much afterwards. I'm petty sure my eyes weren't closed but when I "snapped out of it" so to speak, I didn't even know if I had sat through some lights or what, that's how tired I was. That happened to me twice before I made it home. Before, I could never understand how people could fall asleep at the wheel. I always wondered why they wouldn't just pull over if they felt sleepy instead of risking having an accident. Now I fully understand! I've never been that tired before in all my life. I mean, the closer I got to home, the more physically ill I got. I had the headache from hell and my stomach felt like it was in knots, all that due to lack of sleep. When I finally made it in, I barely had enough energy to take off my pants (didn't even bother with my shirt) and I literally fell into bed. I coveted those two hours of sleep because I had to get up at 5:30 A.M. the next day. Yes, I am disciplined like that! 2 hours sleep after being awake for 22 hours straight, and I still wake up on time: no alarm clock needed! *poppin' mah collar* Needless to say, I was no good to anyone. Jazzy had the nerve to want to go out last night but I couldn't do it. I'm still not completely caught up on my rest yet and on top of that, I get to lose an hour tomorrow due to the clocks "springing" forward. I suspect after I receive the works today, I'll be close to being back to normal and feeling like my old self again. I promised I would go out tonight but my plans as of now are tentative at best. Depends on how I'm feeling!

Since I've missed the Old School Friday, last week and this week, I thought I'd leave you with this from the Brand Nubians. I know ya'll know about Grand Puba..lol New School hip hop ain't got shyt on the artists from back in the day. ENJOY!

To Eat or Not to Eat?......That is the Question.

2008-03-04T11:39:00.003-05:00

How important is Cunnilingus to you? To your relationship? Could you see yourself in a relationship where this was not an option? How about if you were married and it still was not an option? I asked mysef these same questions and surprised myself somewhat. I guess it would depend on how much I loved the guy. I guess I could see myself in a relationship where this wasn't an option but that would have to go both ways because If i'm not getting any, he isn't either.

I love oral sex as long as I am on the receiving end. I'm very generous with my giving as well but I have to be the one initiating it. (None of that hand on the back of the head shyt trying to coax you down and keep you down.... don't act like ya'll don't know what I'm talking about)

Ya'll know the type of female that truly enjoys giving head. I mean she can cum by just making him cum. Most times she'd rather do that than anything else and her oral fixation is insatiable....well ummm...errrr... that chick is not me. I don't love it but I don't hate it either. It really does nothing for me (as I'm sure it isn't supposed to) but I do like the control that I have while doing it.

Anyway, back to my original question. I think it's safe to assume that most men will lick a little clit now-a-days. There may be some who will play the role like they don't and they may need a little push but they're down to at least try. While it is a rarity (at least I believe it to be) there may be that one man that just refuses to go down on you. He may have had a bad experience with hygiene, it may be due to his upbringing or he just doesn't believe that the mouth is supposed to be used on the genitals. Whatever his reasoning may be, is his refusal to perform Cunnilingus an automatic deal breaker for you or do you think that you could change his mind?

I think that most men love head way too much to ever totally give it up so in most instances, once you withhold the "head" games he will be willing to do anything. In the rare instance that he is just having no parts of giving you a little oral luvin', I would like to think that I could deal but who knows? You never really miss or want something until it is no longer available to you and for me, Oral = a sure fire orgasm... EVERY time, most times in under 2-3 minutes. If I had to go without, dude's bedroom skills BETTER be off the chain. He better be willing and able to go above and beyond the call of duty to make sure I'm satisfied because in most instances, penetration alone will not get me there.

My girls said "If he ain't licking the pussy ain't no need in wasting my time." They have seemed to reach a consensus that his ass should and would be kicked to the curb with the quickness because after all, "What man doesn't eat pussy in this day and age?" I, on the other hand, would like to think that I'm not that shallow....... or am I? All I can say is I hope I never have to find out. lol

Ladies, We Have Got To Do Better Than This

2008-02-28T08:56:00.008-05:00

For those of you who may not know, this is the audition/casting call for Plies' "Bust It Baby" reality show which is possibly in the works.

Really Ladies(and I use that term very loosely because ain't nary a one of those chicks in that video a lady"? Is this what we have become? Do we really think so little of ourselves that we would be willing to degrade ourselves in such a way as this? For what? Some face time on a reality TV show? An opportunity to be in the presence of a rapper as long as the cameras are rolling(because he damn sure will not be wifing any of you. The most that you can hope to become is a part time jump off and the chance of you even becoming that is slim to none) Why would any lady want to be referred to as someone's "Bust It Baby"? The term alone should be a turn off as it triggers thoughts of being someone's cum receptacle... that's it, that's all, nothing more! Regardless of whether or not you're a Whore or a Slore, (or in this case , because I don't know these girls personally, give the impression thereof) if that's you, do you, but please, have enough sense not to do it on cam for the entire world to see. You may say "Well I'm young, I'm just having some fun while I still can" but do not the young( or young minded in this instance because these chicks look like grown azz women to me), eventually need to grow up? Do they not eventually become older and more mature...hopefully? Do you really want a keepsake of you stating how you love to feel a penis hitting your tonsils recorded on video forever? What if you find the man of your dreams who happens to be an upstanding citizen and well respected member of the community? Suppose you become such a person yourself? What about future children and Grandchildren? Do you really what them seeing this side of you when your 15 minutes of fame comes back to haunt you (and it undoubtedly will) Trust! I hope not!
Some of the rappers have ben bashed because some believe that their lyrics and videos are contributing to the degradation of women. While that may be true to a certain extent , some of us do a good job of that on our on. We don't need a rapper to degrade us because we degrade ourselves. I don't think that you can blame it on the lyrics of some hip hop artists when we are the ones clamoring to be in the videos, be in the reality Tv shows, be seen with the very same person who called you a video hoe or a bitch in one of his songs. Not only that but we allow ourselves to be seen fucking and sucking, stripping, boasting about our body parts and everything else on cam. C'mon Ladies, We have got to do better than this because this shyt right here, don't make no sense.!

Ladies Keep yourself

2008-02-25T17:22:00.004-05:00

So I just found out that a friend that I know has passed away. (The phone keeps ringing with people calling to tell me that she passed.)She was 44 years old. Now she and I weren't particularly friends per se because she was one of the older girls, but she was a friend of my cousin and since everyone in the neighborhood were either related or grew up together, I refer to her as a friend. It always saddens me to hear that someone has died. I mean it just consumes me in such a way that I can't think of anything but their death. I remember when she had her baby at the age of 16. This baby was so pretty and had the prettiest hazel eyes. I can remember running over to her house to see the baby and her not wanting anyof us kids to touch her. (The"baby", who is not such a baby anymore, has since had a child of her own) Anyway, I can remember her being rather fast for her age. I'm not sure but I think she left home not too long after she had the baby and just became wild. I hadn't seen her in years but I had heard from other family and friends that she was on drugs. Now what kind of drugs she was doing, I have no idea and I wouldn't even go so far as to call her an addict because I really don't know. I had also heard rumors of her having AIDS. I did see her one or two years ago when I went back home for something. She spoke and I spoke. She didn't look too good to me, She looked old and thin and I think she was even using a cane to get around. I felt horrible seeing her looking like that. My family members were telling me that what I saw, was a good look compared to what she had been looking like. Anyway, I guess she had been sick and had recovered from her sickness. She moved back in with her mom and her daughter. Her daughter didn't like her too much.(I suspect it stems from separation issues) If you are running the streets, you don't have much time to spend with or care for a child. She didn't want her to have anything to do with her own grandchild and she also talked plenty shit about her. She would see her mom walking and drive right on by her. When I heard that she passed and her family was there, my mind immediately went to her daughter. It would'nt surprise me if she hadn't even bothered to show up from the things that I had been hearing about her. Anyway, she is no longer in pain and hopefully she is in a better place. It just saddens me to know that she died before her time and from such a horrible disease. Tragic!

She isn't the only person that I know who died relatively young. I know another girl who I grew up with( we weren't friends either because she was never allowed outside ) who died at the age of 27 of a drug overdose. I believe that her parents were so strict on her that she couldn't wait to fly the coup. She wasn't allowed outside, always had to wear dresses or skirts(never pants or shorts) lived in church(which is a good thing) but a child needs to have room to grow. I, being a child as well, wasn't always the nicest person to her. I may have teased her a bit as is often the case with children, never realizing how it affected her until years later. My cousin told me that she said that she couldn't stand me. I'm thinking why not? The only thing she knows about me is my name. I never messed with her like that and then I remembered I may have teased her a bit. Anyway, I guess her sheltered lifestyle caused her to run rampant. I remember seeing her a few months before she OD'd. We were in the grocery store and she came and said something to my Aunt. I couldn't stop staring at her because she looked bad. Her eyes were bloodshot and yellowed. I told my aunt that she looked like she had been drinking and my aunt said "Girl, she does everything, drugs too". I was shocked because I knew how she used to be but then again not surprised. My Aunt told me they found her dead of a drug overdose not too much longer after that. She left behind 3 little kids. I mean under the age of 6. I guess if I could say anything, it would be "Don't be in such a rush to grow up" Enjoy your childhood and being a kid while you can. Everything that you think that you are missing out on will still be there when you are old enough to handle and to enjoy them." I would hate for anyone else to end up like my acquaintances because they were in such a rush to grow up!

May they both RIP!!!!

Weekend? Over? Already?

2008-02-24T17:47:00.006-05:00

I just came home from church, and then Hooters with the girls, needless to say I am stuffed but we had enough wings that I can have some for dinner tomorrow. I don't really feel like doing much else other than relaxing. I think the "ITIS" has set in. I'm going to attempt to watch a Bball game or two if sleep doesn't catch me first. I sure hate when the weekend is over because it's back to the Monday grind! ~Big Sigh~ This weekend wasn't nearly long enough.

Pour out a lil' liquor

2008-02-24T00:53:00.000-05:00

There are no words ~sniff-sniff~.NOOOOOO! Not Omar!! Mama NNOOOOOOOOO! I love The Wire and all that, but c'mon! I know they could have done better than that. Kenard? Kenard? Are you F'in kidding me? ~sniff, sniff~ I had a love -hate relationship with you but even so, I can truly say I'mma miss you man! *pouring out a lil' liquor*

Old School Friday

2008-02-22T18:01:00.005-05:00

Today's old school artist is Das EFX!!! Ya'll remember them? This used to be my shyt back in the day? I'm sitting over here jammin' to some oldies, sippin' on a glass of wine while I try to figure out what I'm going to wear to this poetry slam tonight. Enjoy!

Mama Noooooooooooooooooo

2008-02-21T16:31:00.001-05:00

For those of you who may not know, this is Frankie, Keyshia Cole's mama, yes I said MAMA and believe me I use that term very loosely. I know Keyshia had to be embarrassed as hell. Frankie needs to act a fool on her own time and not at her daughter's fuctions. Better yet, she needs to sit her old ass down somewhere and act her age. She out there in her mini dress, blonde wig/weave (as fierce as that cut is) dancing up on stage at her daughters platinum party( and no she didn't say "Happy ValenTIMES Day". Not only is she dropping it like its hot, she's smacking her ass on top of it. I thought Janice Combs was a hot mess but Frankie has got her beat. Jesus take the wheel...please!

You Me and She

2008-02-19T17:05:00.017-05:00

Okay, So I'm reading this book Something on the Side by Carl Weber. I'm on page 27 of 390 and already, I have a good idea of what will happen in this story. It's about these women. One of whom is married. So far, she is trying to do something special for her husband's 40th birthday by taking him to Hedonism in Jamaica. She also wants to take her BFF to Hedonism with them so she can be the third in their ménage à trois. So far the BFF has declined but I know, Ya'll know what will happen. First of all she has already broken a few cardinal rules:

Never let your friends know how good your man is in bed, lest they get curious and want to sample the dick for themselves.
Never invite another woman into your man's bed ( doesn't matter if you are present or not) Don't do it! Especially if you care for said man and are trying to build something with him.
If you ARE stupid enough to invite another woman into the mix. At least have enough sense to not let it be a friend or worse yet, your BFF.

I know we women like to brag on our men and I know how we are when we get some good dick. We want to shout it from the rooftops and tell anyone that would listen how he put it down. But keep that to yourself when you are amongst friends. I know you and your girl have been BFF's since Kindergarten but if she hears about the good dick your man is putting down, how he is blowing your back out every night and how he licks your pussy until you squirt. You dayum right she is going to start to want that in her own life (especially if she ain't getting none and your man is looking right.) Curiosity killed the cat or in this case curiosity might get her cat killed (by your man) so mums the word on your man's bedroom skills.

You know when we women fall in love, we fall hard and deep. Just make sure you don't let yourself fall deep into a ménage à trois. It's all good if it's you and two dudes but as far as you, your man, and another woman. DEAL BREAKER! I won't even go as far as to say that a girl, girl, guy ménage à trois is automatically off limits, but I will say that if the man is your husband, fiance', long term significant other, or someone that you really love and care for, DO NOT DO IT. Men can be some slick mofo's too . They will try to coax you into agreeing to their fantasy believing that they will wear you down: "If you really love me you would do it"; It's just going to be this one time and I'll never ask you again"; "You said you'd do anything for me" "If you don't someone else will"...well, let someone else do it then because I am not the one. I said I love you nicca but I am not stupid and I damn sure ain't no fool. You give in once and then you either got him asking for "Just one more time, I promise" or your girl or your man creeping trying to get another taste. She may pull out all of the stops on YOUR man and leave you stuck on stupid trying to figure out how she's popping her pussy while giving head upside down in a back bend or worse yet, He may pull out all of his tricks on her leaving her ass twitching, stuttering and drooling and I know.... you don't want that. Doubly worse if the chick is an acquaintance or friend. So to save yourself some heartache or unnecessary worry, when the ménage à trois involves YOUR man, leave it alone and just say NO!!! Just in case my words have fallen on deaf ears( or in this case my words have fallen on blind eyes peep the pic below:

This Bish on the right (obviously the trois in the Menage) done got the good dick and is already plotting her next move Look at her sneaky ass. Ladies don't let this become your situation.

DO WE REALLY NEED A REASON

2008-02-18T17:37:00.005-05:00

Today I was watching this play on BET and one of the actors happened to say something that I found to be rather profound. He said that while "Women need a reason to cheat, Men just need a location" and I'd like to add "An Opportunity'' to that quote. I started thinking about this and I think that it is very true. In most instances in which a woman cheats, the man has given her cause to go looking for someone else. I can honestly say that I have never cheated on any man that I was in a relationship with nor given him any cause to cheat on me. I'd much rather cut him off than waste my time playing petty tit for tat , get him back by fucking his friend type games. That's just the type of woman that I am. I know my worth and I know that I'm damned sure worth more than a man who claims to love me and want to be with me but yet can't seem to keep himself as well as parts of his anatomy from straying.

When I do decide to commit to someone, I'm totally and wholly committed. I don't want , nor do I need anyone else but him. Now I'm not blind and I may still notice a fine dude or two but nothing, and I mean nothing, could make me stray. Now men , they are a totally different species. All they need is a willing participant and it is on. The chick doesn't even need to look good but as long as she has a hole, again it's on.

I have only been cheated on twice( to the best of my knowledge) Both times I found out about it and as soon as I did.. that was it, I was done.

Both men apparently regretted it and attempted to get back with me but if you don't have sense enough to know what a good woman I am and what a good thing you would be losing before you make the decision to stray, don't count on me being there for you after you come to your senses. Yes, it hurt to have to cut them off and in one of those instances, it took me a while to get over it but I DID. To this day, one of these men will do anything that I ask and His wasn't even an instance of sexual infidelity. Once, I called him up and he got up out of his bed , woman lying right next to him, to come and pick me and my girls up and drop us off at our respective homes and then he carried his ass on. I got off on playing those little games with him for a while but then decided that that wasn't me. The other , I still keep in touch with from time to time, and he has since told me how much I meant to him and how much of an impact I had on his life. It felt good to hear that although I've always known that I was possibly the best thing that ever happened to him. He'll call and invite me out to visit him. (I always decline his invitations) and then he pretends to be so hurt that I would have no interest in seeing him again. I told him that I can be friends with him and have no problem keeping in touch with him via email, text messages, or the phone but there really isn't a need for us to see one another face to face unless its by happenstance. Hopefully they have learned that the grass isn't always greener and would choose to be faithful to the next female that they decide to get involved with.

ROCK THE VOTE

2008-02-16T14:02:00.000-05:00

I found this to be uniquely interesting. Maybe you will as well!

2008-02-15T21:40:00.000-05:00

Now that my V Day festivities are over and its the weekend bayyyybay, I can finally take some time to recoup. My Valentines Day was awesome. Blow jobs, dancing, laughing, shit talking, hootin', hollerin and just plain old acting a fool. For ya'll nasty folks that might be thinking of the fellatio blow job, get your mind out of the gutter with your nasty self. Im talking about the Bailey Irish creme, Amaretto, and whipped cream shots that you take in your mouth ( no hands and Yes!! You definitely need to SWALLOW) shots referred to as a Blow job. I'm a beer, Mojito, martini type girl at heart so I was mixing all of the above and throwing them back like it was water. Ya'll know I paid for it today right? I haven't felt like this since my good old college days. You know how it is when you talk to God and promise that you'll never, ever, ever, drink again if only he would make your head stop thumping and make the contents of your belly stay put. I don't know what in the hell I was thinking because after that, my ass couldn't do anything but pray that the room stopped spinning and take my ass to bed. Didn't even get no dick but I still had a ball. ~wink~

Not as much fun as a dick but they sure are pretty

andthey taste OH SO GOOD!

On another note, why did my "friend" call me at 3 or 4 something in the morning. I don't really know what time he called but I do know after the evening that I had, it was TOO DAYUM EARLY for me. Anyway, he called talking about can he come over because he wants to "taste" me. I was like "Excuse me?" and he said "Come on, you know you want that pussy licked." I had to introduce that nicca to my friend Tone because he knows I don't play that shit. Unless you are my man and we are in the midst of fucking or trying to, don't call me at an ungodly hour asking me can you lick anything on my body. I find that disrespectful since he and I have never gotten down like that. Besides, I remember when there was a time that a dude wouldn't even admit that he ate pussy now niccas are using it as a pick up line WTF? Same with females. Please, back in the day you'd be hard pressed to find a chick who admitted to sucking dick but now they wear that shit proudly. Say it loud: I suck dick and I'm proud. lol When I sober up a bit more his ass will definitely be hearing it from me. If he even remotely had a chance to taste my goodies, it's all but gone now cause dude definitely got some 'splainin to do. Anyway, It's friday night and I'm about to pop a Tylenol and take my ass to bed. Dayum shame because it is only 9:22 but I want to be able to enjoy my spa day tomorrow and if I'm still feeling the remnants of this hangover, I'm going to be one pissed bish. Nighty night!

Big Thangs Poppin'

2008-02-13T19:06:00.003-05:00

So tomorrow is Valentines Day and I haven't as of yet decided what I'm going to do. Although I'm doing the "casual" dating thing right now I don't have that One special person that I'm obligated to spend VD with. I have several options but being that it is dayum near the Tundra here, I don't even want to step foot outside these doors. Not really up for dinner, Not really in the mood for some dude to be all up in my face doing the lovey, dovey thang, Gifts? That I'm up for! Sex? Hell yeah I'm up for that! tee hee. I'm seriously thinking about hanging out with the girls this VD. Hey the day is about love and I do love my girls. I'm almost always guaranteed to have a good time with them anyway.

Miko has been down in the dumps lately because she lost her man, boyfriend or whatever she calls him. He ended up getting back with his baby's mama and trying to work things out. I can understand how Miko feels but truth be told she was seeing several other men as well. Miko, is beautiful, bright, and smart so why she is letting this one get her down is beyond me. I don't think that she really cares that she is no longer seeing him. I think she is mad at the fact that he was the one to break things off with her.... first. I don't think she has ever been "dumped" before and it is really fucking with her head that someone doesn't want to be with her. She told me that he has been texting her and calling her but she hasn't returned any of his messages which is exactly they way she needs to handle the situation.. He wanted to be with his baby mama so let him be with her. I know she doesn't have any plans so I'm seriously thinking about rounding up the crew and spending the day drinking, laughing, dancing and watching the strippas. After that, and if I'm feeling up to it, I'll spend the rest of the evening with one of my suitors. That should leave enough time to have some bubble bath play, some massages, and some good ass dick! :::big grin:::. Yeah!!! I'm liking the sound of that! Now I just need to think of a good gift to give him besides moi!

What the heck is going on here.

2008-02-07T17:45:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning and cramps had my azz laid out! I couldn't even get out of the bed let alone make it in to work. I don't know what is up with that because I haven't had cramps like this in years and I do mean YEARS!

Now I used to get them really bad, to the point that I would throw-up, sweat, and need to go to the ER so when folks say cramps aren't real, I say you are a muhfuccin' lie! Anyway, I haven't had one of those sweating, throw-ing up episodes since college and I do not miss them one bit.

I don't know what is up with me today though because these dayum cramps got me laid up and out of commission. I'm not feeling this AT ALL. TMI I know but hey that's how it be sometimes.

About my hottie, well.... errr....ummm, somebody's hottie!

2008-01-26T15:07:00.000-05:00

As you may or may not know it is cold as hell here. I don't know how many females I've seen with no hat, no boots, and no gloves. Just to give you some type of idea of just how cold it is, last week when I left the house, it was -5 degrees. ( and that is without the wind chill factor which would make it seem as if it were about 20 below) These chicks have got to know that it is too dayum cold outside to try to be cute. I know they were freezing there asses off. Hell, I left the house looking like the abominable snow woman and I was still cold but I digress, this is supposed to be about the hottie.

After work, I was having this craving for tacos. I had been thinking about them all day at work( Yes, these tacos are just that good, and I'm not particularly a taco person) so when I got off, I stop by this little "hood " spot and was surprised to see that as cold as it was out, nukkas was still huggin' the block. Anyway, I'm trying to find a parking spot close to the restaurant and I see dudes just standing in front of the place near the door, but those tacos were calling my name so its whatever. Anyway, I m walking to the place and as I'm walking one of the guys says "Dayum mama , You got some pretty eyes, a nigga can get lost in them muhfuccas". I said "Thank You, I think" and kept on stepping. When I got to the door, someone opened it for me, I said thanks and that was that. I really didn't pay to much attention to them because dudes on the block in the cold 24-7 can't do a dayum thing for me. I'm at the counter ordering and dude follows me in and says "So, you got a man, You got a name?" I said "Excuse me but I'm trying to order, thank you" and he started laughing and says "Oh my bad." I finished ordering and proceeded to move to the side with my back still turned to the guy hoping he would get the hint that I did not want to be bothered. I was cold, tired, and hungry and with me, those things could equal bitch if I'm rubbed the wrong way. Anyway, he kept trying to make conversation asking me if I had a name and I said "I do" then he asked me if I had a man, I must admit, dude was persistent because I know I would not be trying to talk to someone who kept their back turned to me. My phone started ringing so I reached in my pocket to answer it and my keys fell out. Dude bent down to pick them up to hand them to me and I turn around to thank him and whooo Lawd. This man was gorgeous! My nipples even stood up and saluted him! I mean he had on a hat and a hoodie so the only things that were really visible to me were his eyes ( albeit through sunglasses) and his mouth. He had the most beautiful smile I've ever seen and that's no lie. Pretty teeth, buttery soft skin,( if I had touched him I bet it would've felt like it) mustache and goatee and just.... Umm Ummm Ummmm Dayum! I couldn't do anything but stare at him and I wouldn't be surprised if my mouth was hanging open while I was doing it. Somehow, I managed to thank him for picking up my keys and he just stood there and grinned. He told me his name and I told him mine and then he asked for my number. I just totally forgot about the phone call that I was on, hell that heffa could hold on indefinitely. I said, how about you give me yours and I'll call you. He laughed again and said you're a difficult one but okay. He asked me for some paper to write it on and I had none so he ended up writing it on a 20 dollar bill. Lol I had to laugh when he handed it over but he said that was the only paper he had. I guess that I was supposed to be impressed but if he wanted to impress me he could've pulled out about 50 more of them twenties and then I may have possibly been impressed. Anyway, this man so had me in a trance that I wasn't even aware that they called my number to pick up my order. I excused myself, picked up my order and then he walked me to my car amidst whistles and whoops from his boys. I thanked him, gave him a smile and a wave and pulled off. I didn't look back although it took everything in me not to get one more glimpse of that man's beautiful smile. When I made it home, reality started to sink in. As much as I love the thug swagger, I simply cannot do the thug thing . I'm getting too old for that shyt no matter how attractive he may have been . With eternal longing and remorse, I think that it's best that I erase the man and the number from my memory. Well, on second thought what can one phone call possibly hurt I mean really, This man had my undivided attention once I decided to give him mine and I am so itching to test the waters even though I know he is so not good for me.

Lawd A'mercy

2008-01-23T13:09:00.000-05:00

This morning I decided to stop at McDonald's to get some breakfast and coffee since I didn't have time to make some this morning. Anyway, I decided to go inside and fore go the drive thru which is something that I never do. Anyway, I'm ordering my coffee with all of my 8 creams and sugars. I taste it and It isn't to my liking , so I ask the girl if she put in my 8 creams and 8 sugars and she tells me yes, I taste it again after stirring it up and I tell her that she did not. She then gives me some additional sugars (bitch! if I wanted to add sugar myself I wouldn't have bothered to go through my 8 creams and 8 sugars spiels) but anyway, I move over to the side so that I can fix up my coffee the right way. Two older gentleman come into the place and instead of the one going up to the empty register( no line, no waiting) to place his order, he decides to stand behind me off to the right. Now mind you, I'm over to the side fixing my coffee and he is behind me yelling that he needs water. Now I was always taught to respect my elders and the fact that he was being loud in my ear wasn't the main problem that I had with him. Oh, it was a problem but I would have been willing to overlook that if it hadn't been for the fact that every time this man opened up his mouth, I smelled hot garbage. I mean his breath STANK! I tried to play it off and hold my breath a bit while covering up my coffee with the quickness because I didn't want that funk to invade my drink. Anyway, I'm scrunching up my face trying to avoid the smell until I just could not take it any more. I turned around and said "Excuse me but would you mind moving over a bit?" and he just looked at me and said "For what?" I said not only are you yelling in my ear but you are breathing all over my coffee. He moved over but I could tell that he was none too happy about it. I tried to hold out as long as I could, I really did, but that breath smelled like straight up stank! I told my co-worker and she said "Girl I told you to carry those mints with you. If you had done what I said, then you could have given him one or two." My co-worker is a nut. That woman keeps me giggling on the regular. What am I going to do when this special project is over because I am going to surely miss her and her funny stories. She also said that and I quote"You know sometimes old people can't satisfy a woman the way they should so they might need to taste IT a little bit" so they get down there and taste it and then don't brush their teeth afterwards. breath be smelling like Badussy, boody, ass and pussy!" She and I both burst out laughing and I know people were looking at us like what the hell has gotten into them. On a new note, I met a little hottie last night but I can't type about that just now as I have work to do and me on the internet is not being productive.

We aren't family!

2008-01-21T19:22:00.000-05:00

What the hell is going on here? I texted an ex just to say "Happy New Year" a few days after New Years. He texted me back and we went back and forth for a few messages until I stopped responding. Anyway, He and I haven't been together in years but we talk intermittently from time to time. Anyway A few days after I stop texting him, he calls me. I was busy at the moment so I couldn't talk to him and said I would phone him back. Well fast forward to this weekend .....I still haven't called him back yet but he left a message on my voice mail saying that his mom and sister were in town, he also left their number just in case I wanted to call them. What in the world would make him think that I wanted to call his mama and sister? We were never cool like that. Not even when we lived together. Now I was cordial to them but not in a just call them out the blue and say wassup type of way. I was closer to his grandmother than I was his mom or his sister , well his sis was much younger than me so all I would say to her is hi and bye. Besides I don't want to be stuck meeting up and possibly entertaining them if I did decide to call. Ahhh well, He left the message two days ago and due to the fact that I rarely , if ever, check my messages on my home phone, I have a good excuse for not calling them while they're in town. I'm just glad he didn't give them my number so they can call me!

What did I get myself into?

2008-01-11T14:05:00.000-05:00

Only a few more hours and I am out of this joint. I'm supposed to be going out on a "blind" date tonight . I don' know why I let Jazz talk me into this shit because she and I both know that I don't do blind dates. I'm really easy to read and if I'm not feeling dude then he will definitely know it. Not because I'll be blatantly rude or anything like that but because it is extremely difficult for me to feign interest when I'm obviously not. The only reason I agreed to go is because Jazz has met "the finest, most perfect guy ever" *insert eye roll here* because she meets the "finest, most perfectest guy ever" damn near monthly but anyway, she says that they haven't really talked much and he asked her out. Jazzy can be overly cautious( which is a good thing in this day and age) so she told him that she would be bringing a friend and asked if he had a friend and of course he does, what negro doesn't have boys? I told Jazz that I will be driving myself there because I will not be left ass out if she ends up feeling dude a little too much and decides to hang out with him or stay the night with him. Nahhh baby, I will not be stuck depending on said blind date to take me home.. so meet them there , I shall! I really don't have any expectations because like I said before, I'm not into the blind date thing. Really it's just two friends dragging their two friends on a date with them because they fear being alone together. So far the plan is dinner and dancing which I politely informed her isn't such a good idea. I told her to keep it simple and earlier in the day. That way if dude isn't the prince she believes he will be she won't be stuck with him for too long. She's trying to act like she doesn't know wassup!! She knows the rules, when in doubt.....do coffee. Keep it safe and short! *sigh* It's crappy outside ...rainy, dreary, dull and I'm not really in the mood to go anywhere but I'll try the make the best out of it. If all else fails, at least I will be getting my drink on!!!!

Wanna go all night? Well do ya?

2008-01-09T10:14:00.000-05:00

My girl's and I were talking about something I heard on the Steve Harvey Morning show. One of them said that a woman really doesn't want a man who can go on for hours and hours during sex. I started thinking about it and while I have made my fair share of jokes about the infamous "minute man" (having experienced a few episodes where it took me longer to take off my panties than it did for him to cum), I realized that I really don't want a man that can go for hours and hours. Aside from the fact that my shit would be rubbed raw, chaffed and I would be walking bowlegged, If it's taking me that long to cum, then I am definitely not opposed to some help in getting me there whether it be fingers, tongue, or what have you. I am also not opposed to giving out directions, and instructions as needed. Long gone are the days where I fake orgasms tryng to boost up a nukkas ego, If you don't know what you're doing and aren't willing to take instructions and directions, get the hell up and OUT! I'm not trying to fuck for 3 and 4 hours and I know I am not the only one. I'm not multiorgasmic... well as much as I'd like to, I haven't had that "Nirvanaesque" experience of being able to cum more than once during the act..YET. Besides, I'm also a selfish lover. With me it is never really "all about you" unless I'm feeling especially generous that day. I mean, I will work hard to get you there up until it's my time, but my main concern is myself and if it just so happens that I get mine before you get yours. I feel sorry for ya! An orgasm for me is a sure fire sedative and most likely after I achieve one, I will be washing myself up and then rolling my ass on over to get some sleep. I have yet to find the man that would make me want to skip my happy ass in to the kitchen and make ham sandwiches and shyt. Not to say that he isn't out there but I just have't met him yet. Maybe 2008...huh?

Happy New Year !

2008-01-08T13:53:00.000-05:00

I've just returned from visiting family for the Holidays and I want to just let it be known that I am not at all happy to be home. After my little jaunt, I am seriously considering moving back to my hometown. I miss my peoples ya'll I MISS THEM!!!!!! While I didn't really do much ....Yes, you heard right, No partying for ya girl while she was there, I still had a fabulous time. Family will definitely do that for you! So now I'm back here just going through the motions.

I did drag Miko to the mall with me upon my return to get my brows threaded which was an experience in and of itself. Now I had been thinking about getting them done for a while, so I inquired as to the level of pain involved with this process. I was told that it hurts less than waxing and is better because it doesn't involve ripping off a layer of skin as does with waxing. Anyway, I told the chick that I would be back. Two weeks later I head on back to get it done.

I sit in the chair and she is doing something to my brows and I'm pleasantly surprised because I am feeling No pain. Come to find out she was just brushing them or whatever to get them the way she wanted them before she started threading. Well I braced myself (as I do when I get waxed) but lawd. let me tell you all that I was not ready for what I felt. That shit hurt like hell! Like HELL I tell ya. Anyway, My eyes were watering so bad that passersby thought I was crying. The chick threading me asked if this was my first time and I said yes, ya'll lied to me when I asked about the pain. This shit hurts like hell and about 5 times worse than waxing! Anyway, she was nice enough to hand me a Kleenex so that I can dab at the water flowing from my eyes and then she handed me a mirror. I must admit, My brows look fabulous and she did them to my specifications: no thinning, no shaping, just clean them up a bit!. I do plan to have this done again and I'm hoping that the more I have it done, the less pain I feel. Miko just stood there laughing at my comments and sounds but her punk ass decided not to get hers done. I don't understand why because this chick gets bikini waxes, You hear me? BIKINI WAXES, where they get all up in every nook and cranny of the cooch and the booty but the brows are too much for her? I told her I would contemplate getting a Brazilian but if the pain is anything like the brows, and I imagine it wouldd be since my goodies are sensitive, then as of now, I'm thinking HELL NO!!

May the desires f you hearts be fulfilled in '08! Happy New Year!

Such a procrastinator I am.

2007-12-22T07:30:00.000-05:00

I don't know why I always wait until the last minute to do my shopping knowing I'm not going to be able to find what I want. Well actually, I really didn't have a problem finding the things that I wanted to get, the problem lies in the fact that I didn't know what to get. I picked up a few things that I thought would be good. I'll include gift receipts(yes, one is a notorious gift returner, never likes anything that I pick out) and be done with it! On another note, I have a cold out of this world. I don't know where or how I got it. it just crept up on me out of no where. One day I'm fine and the next, I'm struglling to breathe due to the stuffiness of my nasal passages. Thank God for my Afrin! It has been my saving grace since this thing happened I've even stooped so low as to pull out the old Robitussin in an attempt to rid myself of this unwanted cold which hasn't really done anything as far as I can tell.. Guess I'm going to just have to let the thing run it's course. I hope it's soon because I have a plane to catch on the 27th and I want to be, no I NEED to be at 100% for my trip!

Back to blogging

2007-08-26T21:31:00.001-04:00

Since the summer has, way to rapidly I might add, come to an end, I'm back to blogging. I've had a blast this summer, been down to Florida and Atlanta, as well as Aruba and loved every minute of it. I went to a nice family reunion picnic last night. It was actually one of my mom's friend's family but since I've been around them since I was a wee lass,I decided to attend. I had a ball, good food, good, music and good drinks. The crowd was mostly older but I love oldies music as well as talking to older adults. I find them interesting and I love to hear their tales of "back in the day". Anyway, I spent the evening sipping on Coronas, Blue Hawaians, coolers, doing the cleveleand and cupid shuffles, talking, reminiscing, and laughing. T'was truly a great time BUT( you know there had to be a BUT) why did some people who were too damned old to be puffing on a spliff(according to my mom) decide to light up mid picnic in the presence of everyone? There were way too many kids around for them to be getting blowed and acting loud and ghetto out in public like that. They could've taken a walk or gone to the alley or did anything other than light up around folk. There was also this lady who looked to be about late 40's or 50/s whose only goal,I believe, last night was trying to get fucked. she was bumping, grinding, humping and doing everything. She even fell on the floor in an attempt to "drop it" a few times, dayum shame. Anyway, thats how I spent my saturday night, how about you?

Sheee's back( but for how long, who knows)

2007-05-23T19:46:00.000-04:00

Yes, I have truly missed posting but you know how it is sometimes. First, I got caught up in Spring fever and now I've got summer fever. we have been spoiled with such nice weather lately I've been on the go just enjoying it. In this city the weather is crazy so although it's 88 today, no one would be surprised if we had snow tomorrow so I've got to get out and about ya know? I was at the gym this morning and I cannot understand why females put on make-up (I'm talking full face make-up, foundation, eye shadow, the whole nine) just to go to the gym and sweat it off. Kind of defeats the purpose don't you think? I was looking at this chick today who works out with her FAT man (he trains her, another of my pet peeves but today it's all about the make-up ) She comes in with her hair in a ponytail but when she hits the floor her hair (weave) is loose and curled. She has on eyeliner, shadow, powder that doesn't match her complexion and lipstick(lips outlined with black eyeliner). She was standing in front of me while I was on the elliptical and It took everything within me to not laugh at her. She looked ridiculous! Anyway, I so wish I had my celly and I most certainly would've tried to sneak in a pic. Anyway, it really isn't any of my business what the next chick decides to do but that just puzzled me. I know that I go to the gym to workout (gotta keep it tight and looking right) and I know that sometimes I can work up a serious sweat and wearing make-up just doesn't make sense. (can't possibly be good for the skin either) I also don't wear too much make-up if any at all so that could be why I find it so puzzling. I may wear a little clear mascara, some lip gloss, and occasionally eyeliner but most of the time I am fresh faced. (with the exception of the lips) With me, what you see is what you get. I am about to go to a book club discussion so I will have to end this here. ciao!

The girl just knows these things

2007-04-12T20:42:00.000-04:00

Today was my last day with the co-worker and just like I knew he would, he asked me out (of course he did it in a round -a-bout way but he did it never-the-less). The old dude kept coming into my office (conveniently when my co-worker was gone) saying that he was going to miss me and things. He asked me if I would keep in contact (by the way, he is 62 years old) I told him that I do email but I DON"T do phone. lol He asked me for my email address and I gave it to him only because I figured I wouldn't have to see him ever again after that) Anyway, he is asking me about going out to dinner and I can't remember exactly what I said but I do remember him saying "What's the matter? You're not interested?" I was thinking FINALLY, a chance to let him know so I said NO, I'm not and then this fucker had the nerve to say you will be. lol I said you're confident huh? And he said Definitely, I will change your mind and I won't be a pest about it. He gave me his email addy, home phone, cell phone, work phone, etc lol and of course I have no intention of using them. He said if he emails me and I don't respond, I will never hear from him again, so far so good! Now back to my co-worker. It was getting close to 5 (which is the time we get off but we had to stay and clean up our workspace since we wouldn't be returning back to that particular location) Now let me backtrack. Remember when I said he kept talking about his impending birthday. Well, I decided that because I didn't want him to ask me out, I would just chill out with my friendly, bubbly personality and tone it down a bit. I became semi quiet and really not too talkative with him. We still watched movies and things but I was extrememly reserved the 2 days prior to his birthday and the day after, so much so that he felt the need to ask me what was wrong with me. I also didn't acknowledge his birthday which I know was kind of rude and mean and I did regret this later. He never mentioned it so neither did I. About two days after his birthday, I was back to my old self. He kept saying that I was feisty(about 5 times in a row) and then kept taking our conversation to a personal level. like asking me have I ever cheated on a boyfriend and all kind of things that were absolutely none of his business. Now fast forward to the last day, end of work day and he says he is going to go home and get some rest and then he reaches over, rubs my thigh , squeezes it a bit and says "then we are going to go out" lol. The approach could use some work but I figured he would wait until the last day to make his move. I said that I don't go out and he said "I know, I'm not talking about to a club but to a little jazz spot or somwhere where you can drink a little bit and get your nod on". I said no that's alright and then he said that he didn't know anything about me except for my first and last name and he was going to go home and google me to get my number. Lol We'll see, We'll see! OOH I forgot to mention that he dressed up too. Had his little dress shoes and socks, slacks and leather sportscoat. ( up until today he was a jeans and sweats type of dude) I kept looking at him and he is an attractive dude. Bowlegged (and I LOVVVEEE me some bowlegs) I don't know what it was about him though that didn't do it for me. Hes not an ugly guy at all (rather nice looking and even moreso from the back!) Anyway, we were interrupted once again and I didn't give him an opportunity to bring the convo back up. After I said that I didn't go out he also got quiet and surprisingly didn't have much to say to me after that. Oh well, At least it was our last day together.

2007-04-05T21:07:00.000-04:00

What am I going to do with these dayum men. I told ya'll about the old dude and now I have a feeling that my c0-worker ( the one who replaced first one) wants to ask me out. I think he is just trying to get up enough nerve to do it and I really hope that is not the case. We have a lot of down time between workshops so to pass the time we either play games on line or watch movies. We get along really great and aside from him telling me that he thought the old dude found me extremely attractive he really hadn't said much else but the past few days, he has been hinting around alot. The old guy came in today and he really didn't say much other than how is everything going. When he left my co-worker said "Now he just says hi and bye huh?" I said yeah, and that's how I like it. Then he said that he thinks he makes him uncomfortable which is why he keeps it brief when he is there. I said "Oh, he's uncomfortale when you're here" and he said "Yeah, he doesn't like me too much." I said "He likes you just fine." But anyway either his first or second day there, he told me his birthday was coming up. I asked him what he was doing and he said the same as last year, nothing. Me and by big ass mouth said you have to go out on your birthday and celebrate and he said it's just another day to him. I kept on and on so now for the past few days he has said something to the effect that he is trying to find something to do for his birthday and I would change the subject before he got to it good. Today he says he thinks he is going to check out this new restaurant that serves African food. I asked him if he like African food and he said he never tried it. I said I know they eat FuFu but I tend to stick to the things I know and then he said that's right, you like pasta. Then he says you don't go out alot do you and I said No. (lol knowing my ass goes out too much) He then asks when is the last time that I been out. I'm thinking last night but I plan to tell him it's been so long I can't remember (then I thought that would give him an in to ask me out so I said last month) Anyway, we were inturrupted which is always a good thing, while we were watching this dvd and I look over at him and he is staring at me. I didn't say anything, just went back to watching the movie. It is so obvious to me that dude is feeling me which is why I can't understand it when these dudes are in relationships and say that they couldn't tell that their boys mama, sister, baby mama, (inseet random female here) is trying to get with them. That is a load of shit. But anyway, I don't want dude to ask me out because then i'd have to say no and rejection will almost always put a damper on our working relationship and I have to see him for at least another week.

Men Men Men. Unfortunately they are all wrong

2007-03-30T19:44:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I'm in Starbucks on my lunch break sipping on my Caramel Macchiato when I'm instantly drawn to the 6' plus man who just entered. He looks at me for a moment and then goes on to stand in line. I was instantly drawn to this man not because he was overly attractive but because he had the prettiest eyes I have ever seen. It wasn't his eye color but the fact that these were the biggest, brightest, most expressive eyes that I have ever seen. He even had extra long eyelashes to boot. I couldn't help but stare at this man , even to the point that when he glanced at me I didn't even break my stare. Normally I would've looked away or looked down or done something but not this time. I just kept on staring, so much so that he probably felt obligated to join me so when he asked if I minded, I said "Not at all, have a seat." Of course I apologized (as i'm not that blatantly rude) but I just had to tell him that he has lovely eyes. He thanked me and said he isn't used to being stared down by such an attractive woman. Touche'. Anyway, we engage in minor chitchat abour work and interests and then it happened, I lost interest just like that. I know ya'll are wondering what happened and I will tell you, dude took off his hat. That's right, He took off his dayum hat! Will you believe that this man had some of the nappiest hair known to man. I mean so much so that each nap had individualized and separated to the point that I could've counted each one. He literally put the "bead" in bead-dee-beads!!!! On top of that, his hair was so dry that it actually looked dusty, you hear me, DUSTY!! It took everything within me to keep from reaching into my bag and pulling out my moisturizer to hook his head up right there. Now before you stone me, I have nothing against nappy hair, as a matter of fact, I actually prefer that look on females as well as males but dude looked like a brush (not to mention a comb or hair products) hadn't touched his head in forever. I was in awe, I simply told him that I had to get back to work and ended all conversing right there. So what, I'm shallow, sue me. On another note, a co-worker and I have been working at this new spot running an ongoing workshop. We'll be there for another week and a half, My first day there, everyone at that location was extremely nice and friendly. This old dude always speaks to me and I didn't think anything of it. Day before yesterday, he actually joined me while I was walking back from the restroom, I can't remember what he said exactly but I do remember thinking that he is getting a little flirty. Anyway, I get a new partner today and we are in the office talking and old dude comes in and joins in the conversation. We're having a pleasant conversation, talking and laughing when my co-worker decides that he needs to take a smoke break. As soon as he leaves the old guy asks me where my guy is? I'm thinking he is talking about the guy who my new partner replaced so I ask "Who, the guy that was here before?" and he says "No your personal guy." I tell him I have no guy and he says "Why not? You don't need a man," and While I'm responding to that question with no, he has already asked whether or not I like men so of course when he heard my "No," he gets all bug-eyed and said "What... You don't like men, what you like? I said "My NO was in response to your previous question and Yes, I like men just fine." He continues to try to diagnose me and tells me that I must've been hurt extremely bad because after all, Ya'll know that it has got to be unfathomable that a pretty young thang such as myself wouldn't want an old ass geyser like him. Yes, he was semi attractive for his age but I highly doubt that a man that age could do anything for me other than hit me off with a couple of dollars every now and then and then introduce me to his younger, more attractive son. Anyway, My co-worker returns and the old dude stops his flirting and the convo gets back to normal but everytime my coworker left the room (which was a total of three times), two smoke breaks and a phone call) he just had to take it there. He told me that I should cook dinner and invite him over. I told him that I don't cook and am more of a fast food kind of chick, specifically McDonalds (since he mentioned earlier that he doesn't eat fast food and especially McDonalds.) He then says " Oh well, I wouldn't take you out then even if you did say yes, you'll go out with me, (slick bastid) because I don't do fast food. Luckily, my coworker walked back in. The old dude left and conveniently came back when said -worker was again out of the office to ask me what the plan was for the weekend. I told him that I would be running a workshop and then he asked what I was doing after that. I told him I didn't know as of yet, but I'm sure I'll be getting into something and then he asked if I would be thinking of him this weekend and especially tonight, (What the hell?) I said why? He said why not. I really wanted to tell him that not only is he old enough to be My daddy but he is old enough to be my daddy's daddy and he should know better. He said I don't know so I said "Sure, I'll remember you in my prayers this Sunday and he said "Okay, but think of me in your heart too". By this time I'm utterly disgusted. Anyway, he finally decides to carry his old ass on and a few hours later, when we are getting ready to lock up the office, my co-worker said "You know, that guy is really attracted to you" and I asked him what made him think that. He said "I don't know. I just know he is extremely attracted to you" and I, again, asked, "How do you know" and he said "I can just tell." I said "Yeah if you could tell, then why did you keep leaving like that?" I could've kicked his ass. He went over and mocked the old dude and I almost fell out laughing. Anyway, I have about 2 more weeks at that location and I do not want nor need the old dude flirting with me during the rest of that time. I might have to just come right on out and let him know that he is too old for me. I'm trying to be polite about it but I don't know how much more of this, of him, I can take. Lawd help me!

My worst Nightmare come true

2007-03-28T21:07:00.000-04:00

I've been missing in action for a spell but who can blame me, I got caught up in spring fever and nearly lost my dayum mind. Anyway, not much has been up with me outside of the norm. I went out of town last weekend to this little soiree. The plan was to leave early Saturday morning, attend the party saturday night, and return home Sunday evening. All things were ago. I catch my flight and arrive as planned, only problem was that my bags weren't there when I arrived. Yes, they lost my dayum luggage. I'm inquiring about my bag and they want me to fill out the little claim for missing baggage and be on my way. Now normally, that is what I would've done but not this time. I was 2 seconds from showing my ass up in that joint. I know that they have an emergency fund for lost luggage so I inquire about it and they tell me that my bag needs to be lost for at least 24 hours. Mind you that little piece of info wasn't on any of the papers that I had so I pressed the issue. She tells me it's in their manual so I ask to see it. She disappears for about 10-15 minutes then reappears with some internet printouts. I tell her she printed that off of the internet and she said yes, that's where there manuals are. I continue to press (hell, I had too,I had no underwear, bra, tooth brush, no nothing and don't even mention the shopping that I did) Matter of fact, let me tell ya'll about it. I bought the cutest little dress to wear and since I had this neverending urge to wear some boots, I searched high and low (ya'll know that it's spring and most stores have gotten rid of their boots and such a month ago) until I finally found a boutique that had a pair of boots for me. Just so you can get the full understanding of how much I wanted to rock some boots, the pair that I really liked, they didn't have in my size, so I ended up buying the only pair that they had in my size (which was no where near the color that I needed.) Now what did I do you ask? I bought them and then went and purchased another dress that matched the boots perfectly, and now these bitches want to tell me that they lost my shit and they don't have any funds to give me. Anyway, she leaves again to go powwow with her co-workers, (I see about 3 or 4 people go into this little room with her) for another 15-20 minutes, she finally comes out with she needs to see my receipts. Now I'm thinking, I just got in from another state, How the hell am I gonna have receipts and then she says I need to go shopping and then bring them the receipts back. At this point, I'm pissed and have no intentions of coming up out of my pocket for anything. I tell them that for me, it's not about the money, that I'd much rather have my bag and had they not lost it, I would have it. I'm not about to jump through hoops and shit to rectify a situation that wasn't my fault in the beginning. They send out this old bitch who can't open her mouth up without a lie coming out. After them telling me they had no idea where my bag is all of a sudden she knows where it is. I ask how she found it and she says someone was walking by and noticed the bags then called her. That was complete and utter bullshit and lie number 1. I ask for a supervisor and she tells me there is no supervisor. I tell that bitch that in customer service situations, unless you are THE BOSS,every position has a chain of command and I want to speak with her supervisor or the person over her. She tells me that they can't get a supervisor to come over, lie number 2. She tells me that she can't give me anything because they have no money on the premises...Lie number 3. I tell her that I know everyone doesn't pay for their purchases with credit and if there was no money, how was she going to reimburse me had I shown her receipts. She says hopefully, a supervisor would've come over with the money by then. I guess she forgot that she had just told me that they couldn't get a supervisor for me to speak with. I said "Look, Please do not insult my intelligence with this bullshit, I told her I am highly intelligent with some semblance of common sense and I wasn't going to waste anymore time with her. I then moved on to another person who had me talk to a supervisor in another state. she connects the call to the phone in the lobby and the supervisor whom I speaking with says she will give me $50 and then we mysteriously get disconnected.The lady says she will call back and then transfer the call to my phone and when that happened this bitch did a total 180, now she isn't giving me anything. To make a long story short, My ass left out of there with $250 cash and I ended up getting my bags the next day. Yes, I had about an hour to go shopping (after all of the time I wasted playing tit for tat with those bitches) and I did not get to wear my cute ass boots but I got a new outfit out of the deal and had some money left over.(I'll save the details of the party for another post but anyway, I was determined that someone would see me in my outfit so you know I didn't hesitate to rock it on my return home.....What? You thought I wouldn't?

2007-02-06T17:16:00.000-05:00

I was in KFC and saw the most incredulous thing, A chick was in there arguing with another female about HER man over the phone! What's even more incredulous is the fact that when I returned about an hour later, said man was there and he and the chick were on the phone trying to call this female. (I know you're thinking damn, KFC twice in one day biut it's not like that) I promised someone that I would bring a personal pan pizza home and since this is the slowest KFC known to man, I went to order ahead of time because had I not, I would've had at least an half an hour wait. But anyway back to this chick, I hear her screaming into the phone how much her man loves her and that this other girl is obviously lying, and when said man arrived, she was telling him that the girl said she met his family and they were together last night. Personally, I know the boyfriend was guilty as hell. I could see it all over his face. But anyway this chick was going off and I just strated thinking, That would never be me. I wish I would get all excited and hyper over some raggedy ass dude and yes, she did work there. Had it been me I would've just said," Oh yeah, okay thanks for the call" and then went on about my business. I don't have time to entertain that type of foolishness, especially while I am working. That's crazy!!! I had one chick call me over a male friend of mine. That broad was calling me damn near daily , long distance mind you, trying to question me about my friend. How's that for insecurity? I know had it been me, the last thing I would be worried about is another bitch in another state. Now he did like me at one point but there was nothing going on with us. We went out once and may have kissed once or twice but that was it. He really wasn't my type at all. I couldn't believe this girl had the audacity to call me and try to go off. Had she come at me like a woman, I would've told her the truth, that nothing was going on and we were just friends but she had to call me acting crazy so I just said things to fuck with her head. I told her we were fucking and everything she probably didn't really want to hear. That type of thing is just crazy!!! I swore that I would never call another woman about a man. Shoot,if it can't be handled between he and I, then oh well. I ain't the one to be trying to check on no dick. Especially to the extent that I have to be following him around and calling up folks trying to find out where he is and who he is with. I'd leave his ass first. There are two things that I have come to realize: 1. If a man truly loves you, NOTHING can take him away, no woman, no money, no thing and 2. If a man truly wants to leave, NOTHING , no pregnancy, no chld, no buying his love can make him stay. Women need to realize that and learn to be okay with it. It will save you a lifetime of heartache and strife.

2007-02-02T12:46:00.000-05:00

It's Fridaaaayyyy! I'm so dayum glad the work week has ended. I'm sitting here messing around until it's time for me to get outta here. I'm going to happy hour with a few co-workers and them I will head on home. Don't have any plans as of yet unless somebody calls me and wants to do something. If not, I will be chillin' in the tub with a good book and a glass of wine. I saw Youngin' this morning. Shoot I see him every morning since he works at my coffe spot. That boy is just determined that he is going to get some of this but as much confidence as he has, I got double. He's persistent though and if he wasn't so young there is no doubt that I would've been all over that. lol He's either 20 or 21 and I can't do anything with that right now. It's hard but I'm going to hold out a bit longer. I was with a young dude before and aside from the sex ( which was all that) we just didn't have much in common. He got overly attached thinking he was my man when I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn't looking for a relationship, didn't have time for one, and it/we would never be anything more that what it was. He got almost stalkerish so I had to cut him off and that was enough to let me know that a young guy cannot handle a relationship, fling, what have you with an older woman especially when the pussy is good! Now that's not to say that I will never have a younger man. because shit, men do that all day everyday but I do have my imits though, no younger than 2 years and I have a few more years than that on the youngin. No deal.... I think?

Just one of them dayz

2007-01-31T20:01:00.000-05:00

Today was just a really fucked up day for me. For starters, locked myself out of the house. I don't know how the hell that happened but it did. I usually keep my car and house keys in the pocket of whatever coat I'm wearing that day (since I don't necessarily carry the same handbag on a daily basis and I'm used to sitting it down wherever.) I forgot to turn my IPOD off so I take it out of my pocket and turn it off and apparently my keys came out with it. So I lock my door (I have 2 locks on my door and I've gotten into the habit of locking one of the locks from the inside so I can just walk out of the door and its locked) and I get out my keys to lock the other lock and I realize they aren't in my jacket. DAYUM IT! That means I need to go to my mother's job since she is the only other person who has a spare key to my place,(Now ask me why she has a spare key...Apparently My ass has done thise before lol) pick up her house keys (since my set to hers is also locked inside) go to her house, pick up the spare and then drop her keys back off to her. After that I was pissed and there was no way in hell that I was going to even attempt to head in to the office today. Shoot! I took a personal day and took my ass on to McDonald's for some breakfast since my mouth was watering for some coffee. I'm in McDonalds and the chick is making my coffee and another chick bumps into her and it spills so she has to make me another cup. When I get home, I'm getting out my ride and I drop my muhfuggin' coffee! Can you believe that shit? I wasn't about to go back and get another one so I just made me a cup when I got home. I don't know , today just wan't my day I guess.

On a brighter note, Youngin'(I'll talk about him later) called to see if I was okay, said he was a little worried when I didn't stop by today. I told him that it's sweet that he was concerned but I'm quite alright. Now youngin' is a little cutie but I simply cannot go there. I'm determined that I won't, but his little fine young azz is wearing me down ya'll.

Year 2006 "rap" up

2007-01-13T12:03:00.000-05:00

I didn't get in until after midnight last night and then had to get up at 7 so that I could be over my Aunt's house by a quarter to 8 to take her and my unlce to the train station. I am one tired sista but for some reason I can't go back to sleep. I guess that cup of coffee that I had earlier to help wake me up is really doing the job. I just feel drained. lol I guess I'm getting too old, I can't be keeping late hours like I did when I was in school. Anyway, I didn't get to post much due to the fact that I was out of town without internet access so Here is Skillz with the year in review. (I love dude...he is funny as hell) ENJOY!

You would think a nukka would know!

2007-01-11T19:51:00.000-05:00

What is it with a nukka thinking that once ya'll become involved, start kicking it, have a relationship or what have you that gives him free reign to do whatever. Dude, my life doesn't stop just because I met you. Don't call me (AT WORK NO LESS) questioning me on my whereabouts and why I wasn't at home to get your call when I knew you were calling me at 6. Dude Please! If you think I'm going to sit around waiting for a phone call that you may or may not decide to place, you are saddly mistaken. Then to top it off, you have the audacity to say that you'll be over at 6? Did you ask me if I had previous plans? Did you ask me if it was alright for you to come over? I'm like this, My life does not revolve around you , I had a life before you and I will continue to have one if and when you are long gone. If you want me to make some time for you then let me know in advance so I can try to hook it up, don't just assume that it's okay for you stop by whenever the heck you feel like it because you will just make an ass out of yourself as the saying goes. Now, if we are going to do this we will do it right, you will respect me and do things properly and I will do the same with you. Respect me and my space and things will work out just fine--- I don't think that's asking too much, do you? I had to tell him that I'm busy and if he decided to stop by, he'd be waiting outside until I made it home and even then, I'd have to think about inviting him in. Ladies, I'm telling ya'll if you start letting a dude come over on a whim any time he feels like it, it won't be too long before he has all of his shyt over and you'll find his ass posted up on your sofa, drinking your beer, eating your food, and watching your TV all damn day while you're out working a 9 to 5 trying to make ends meet. Nahh... not me!!! Not in this lifetime!! If you want to spend some time with me then I'm available tomorrow after 5--- I'll pencil you in!! lol I'm just kidding about the pencil you in part but I'm serious about the rest. I refuse to let a man take advantage of me like that. I have a girlfriend who used to date one of my cousins. Now she was my friend before she and my cousin started creeping but it wasn't too long after they hooked up that she stopped hanging out with us. Her ass would be sitting at home waiting for his no good behind( he's my fam and all but yet in still, I call it like I see it and his behind was NO GOOD) to call or show up and 99 % of the time that's exactly how she ended up,still waiting while he was out doing his thang. Pretty soon we stopped asking her to do things with us because we knew it was no point because her ass was on a short leash. (whether self-imposed or at his hand I don't know.) She ended up getting pregnant thinking that would change things but ya'll know how that worked out. Said child is now 15 and she recently(talking a few months ago recent) had another baby by a different dude. She and my cousin don't really have a relationship other than for the kid. He does help her out with cash for herself at times. While I will admit that he treated her like shit, I can't say he is 100% at fault because she allowed him to do it. One thing I will say is that he is a real good father to his child when he is allowed to be.

A blast from the past

2007-01-10T19:32:00.000-05:00

I was checking my email and lo and behold I see a message from my old internet fling. He just wanted to see what's been up with me and to make sure I was doing well. Awe, how sweet of him especially since I haven't thought about him since our "episode". Now I swore that I would never hook up with anyone from the 'net but I have since learned never to say never lol. I met him in a chatroom one night when I was bored and had nothing to do. I don't quite remember how we started chatting, but anyway,it became our nightly ritual. We chatted for about a year or so and during this time we had no idea what each other looked like. I sent him a pic of me but he didn't have one to send back which was okay. It made me a little skeptical but I didn't think anything of it. Looks aren't of the utmost importance to me because I have been known to date an ugly man or two haha. Besides,I look good enough for the both of us!! Our chats eventually progressed to conversing by phone and he did sound SEXY as hell which peaked my interest even more. Anyway, it was finally the summer and since I love to travel, I decided to make a trip out his way.(won't say where--- just in case he should happen upon this entry) Anyway,I grab my roadie and we roll on out. We decide against driving and take the train instead.(This was against my better judgement but everything worked out well.) We stopped at the liquor store so we could get our drank on before we boarded the train. We get there and I call my fling and tell him that I am in town and to come meet me at this little bar. After a myriad of "You are lying!", "No you're not!", "You're kidding!" he agrees and said he will meet us in about an hour. My girl and I are getting much attention from the men just walking down the street and I am wondering if I should've even made the phone call but we head on down to the bar. Jazzy is flirting with this middle-aged bar tender and he is hooking us up with drinks and food. My girl really knows how to work it! We are eating and drinking trying to get our buzz on just in case my "innanet" date turns out to be a troll. We all know a nukka looks 100% better after a few drinks So anyway, the bartender tells us that there is a club around the corner from the bar and he walks us over there, gets us in for free, and tells the guys there to take care of us. We drink some more, dance a bit, and then head on back to the bar. By this time Jazzy has disappeared and I am sitting at the bar eating and drinking when this gorgeous guy walks in. I spot him as he is coming through the door and I just know this is my internet guy. My nipples are saluting him as he walks in! He walks up to me(my heart is about to jump out of my chest) then he taps me on my shoulder and says "your name wouldn't happen to be MiMi would it?" and I of course say "YESS, YESSSS, Take me now!!!" No, Just kidding I just say "Yes." I'm thinking damn MiMi,
you have hit the jackpot! This guy is fine! So then he says "Someone wants to see you outside" Damn!! I'm crushed. I'm thinking how highschool. Why doesn't he just bring his ass in and come say hello? I walk outside and there stood this ugly, gremlin, trollish looking brotha. I was somewhat disappointed and I think that he was worried that I wouldn't be attracted to him which is why he sent his cute friend in first to size me up.
Thank God for the drinks!!! I was a little tipsy by that point anyway. Now I'm not the type to be blatantly rude or anything so he never knew my initial impression of him. Besides, I had been chatting to him long enough that my attraction to him was based on his personality, not his looks, since I never had the opportunity to see his ugly ass before hand. Lol nah let me stop! Anyway, we head into the bar and have a drink and then they ask about my girl. I remember she is MIA and I go look for her and find her in the downstairs bathroom stall with the bartender. Apparently she was giving him head!! DONT ASK!! Jazzy is a wild girl with an insatiable oral fetish. I can just imagine if Jazzy knew I was telling the world her exploits. I'm running out of room so I have to continue this later, besides my Chicken Fettucini with brocoli and Jack Daniels Down Home Punch got a sista salivating like a muhfugga.

Home Sweet Home..NOT!!!

2007-01-08T14:16:00.000-05:00

My first post of the New Year..Yayyyy! I am back from a fabulously relaxing visit with my family and I am soooo not happy to be back at home. It was so nice being with them. I took the train this time and didn't realize how much I missed traveling by train. Yeah, flying will get you there faster but there is nothing like the peace and tranquility of a train ride. I wasn't in the mood for the hustle and bustle and long lines that I most certainly would've encountered had I chosen to fly this time. It actually cost me about the same to take the train as it would've had I flown. Anyway, I spent the majority of my time with my grandparents who are blessed to be 90+. We just chatted about the old days.(You know how old folks do)I actually enjoyed listening to them reminisce and I learned a few things about my family in the process. My grandfather actually had a book that traced his roots back to about 15 or 16 generations and I found that to be quite interesting. My name was even included and that just tickled me pink. While I was there,I went out to the whitest white bar ever and partied with the drunken white chicks, went out to eat, shopped, dropped in on a few friends that I grew up with but haven't seen in ages and just had a grand old time. I didn't go out on NYE though. I went over a friends house and stayed until about 5 minutes until mignight and then brought in the New Year (on my knees...... praying for those of you with dirty minds) with my family. Even found the time to take in 2 basketball games which I absolutely loved. I might have to see if I can find some tickets to a game here which shouldn't be too hard to do since our team sucks and has sucked for the past 2 or 3 years. I returned yesterday and now the hard part begins, That Christmas tree is staring me in the face as well as the many gifts underneath. I have to tackle that as well as unpack my bags which I may just put off until the weekend. Yes, I am lazy like that. If I had my way, my tree would stay up until next year lol.

I'm pissed the fuck off!

2006-12-22T07:57:00.000-05:00

So I decided to do some of my Christmas shopping online. Didn't really feel like being bothered with the crowds and since I'm a last minute shopper anyway this was great for me. Because I didn't need to venture out into the madness of the malls and the like, I got it done rather early, the 13th and the 14th of this month. Why did I receive an email telling me that I was being refunded because of an inventory error. They could not ship my items because they were no longer available from the vendor!! GRRRRR!!! Inventory error my ass! I called and spoke with several people by phone and through a live customer service chat and each and every one of them summmama bishes assured me that my items were in stock and I would have it by Christmas. Mind you this not only happened with one of the online shopping sites (1 of which I have made previous purchases and had no problem with) but all 3 of them. The fact that the items were in stock, were guaranteed arrival by Christmas, and were extremely reasonably priced was the main deciding factor in my choosing to purchase from them and now this shit!!!! Since I have to work today and I am usually tired as hell when I get off, that leaves me all of what...saturday and Sunday to find these items that were specifically requested so that I won't be responsible for heartache on Christmas. Man, I am pissed the fuck off and all they could give me was a bunch of half-assed "I'm sorry's" and "I know how you feel, I would be upset too" Bitch you have all of your gifts, I am the one that is assed out and in a terrible quandary due to your false advertising and lies. I did get a $5 credit towards my next purchase but whoop dee do!!! I know one thing, I will Neva, eva, eva purchase anything that I need in a specific time frame on line again, and most definitely never from these particular online stores. Shit I would've been better off shopping on Ebay, at least I've never had a problem with them!!

End rant! Whewwww! That felt good.

I am too through with Britney spears

2006-12-18T18:20:00.000-05:00

I am so through with Mrs Britney Spears or Mrs. Federline(at least until after the divorce is finalized.) I don't know what that poor girl is going through but someone needs to knock some sense into her quick, fast, and in a hurry. Yes, you fucked up marrying fed-ex but you knew you were wrong from jump. He was in a long term relationship and on top of that his girlfriend was 9 months pregnant and you not only date him but marry him and become pregnant the same year? Then you get pregnant again only a few months later? Chile please!!!! Staying knocked up is not the way to keep a man. We're glad you wised up a bit and cut his mooching ass off but now you want to hang out with Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton ( who have no children I might add) and draw more attention to yourself? You know those hoes are known drunkards among other things. Maybe that's the point huh? Get back out there and get some attention (any publicity be it bad or good is still publicity correct?) in preparation for your comeback. Anyway, me thinks the timing is all wrong. It has been reported that K-Fed is seeking custody and what better way to give it to him Mrs. Britney, than to be seen partying every day of the week, dancing on tables drunk as a skunk,having your pantyless crotch
splattered all over the internet and TV for the whole word to see, as well as a myriad of demonstrated and documented lack of parenting skills. (driving with little Sean P on your lap and almost dropping him while tripping over your platform wedges in an attempt to hold on to your drink and your baby simultaneously..ring a bell anyone?) I just have 3 word for you Mrs. Brit and some of the other tack head chicks that have been thrusted upon us lately (ahem ahem Mrs Starr Jones or shall I say Mrs. Al Reynolds in a strapless mini with sagging titties and makeup 3 shades lighter than your skin color):

Mojitos, Music, and Men .. Yes!!! In that order

2006-12-17T19:15:00.000-05:00

Well, not necessarily in that order, men and music are interchangeable but Mojitos will always be my number 1 lova. Anyway, My girl had a little soiree' in which we each(the four of us) had to bring two guests that the others didn't know. What the hell? I found that to be quite challenging since we all hang out together and know the same folks. There is not that many people that I am confortable with to let inside my little circle but I ended up settling on two of my co-workers, male and female. The male is cool as hell. We have a good rapport and he is one of the few fellas that have actually been to my spot before. Yes, he has been known to work a nerve or two but we're cool like that so it's quite alright. The girl is alright too. We talk, shop, and eat lunch together sometimes so I figured she may be worthy of hanging lol. It's just that I really don't like to mix business and pleasure together so if any of my business gets back to the workplace, there are no seconds chances with me. Immediate cut off. Anyway, I pick FCW (female co-worker) up and we go to MCW's ( you figure it out) and he follows us to the house. When we arrive, there are about 20 people, (Of course the hostess invited more than the required two) and we just mingled and listened to music at first. I was put on drink duty because I make a mean mojito as well as a few other things. Although I'm a diehard beer girl, I love a Mojito( I mean I really LOVE A MOJITO) and most other "girly" drinks. We sat around, talked, drank, ate, danced and just had a grand old time. We even had a table of Pinochle (that's my shit right there) and spades going. I haven't been to a card party since my college days and believe me, it was a welcome change from the club scene as well as a nice way to unwind and relax. I met some pretty cool peeps and that is a lot coming from me because it takes a lot for me to click with any female. Ya'll know how catty some women can be(especially when there are men around)and I just don't have the time nor the patience to deal with all of that drama. I let one young man monopolize most of my time as he volunteered to help me make the drinks. Attractive, smart, funny as hell and most importantly EMPLOYED!!! Yes!!! We have a winner. Just kidding but we exchanged business cards and said we'll keep in touch. I'm not really trying to get into a real relationship with anyone at the moment nor am I trying to add any more men to my stable but I tend to subscribe to the theory that one can never have too many friends, so I make it a habit to never discount anyone. The party lasted well into the wee hours of the morning before folks started to clear out. Since we(The fab four) were staying over, we cleaned up, drank the remaining liquor and those of us who did not pass out, (ahem ahem Ms Hostess) talked and reminisced until we finally drifted off to sleep. Memorable evening, so much so that I may volunteer to host the next one at my spot. Give me a chance to pull out the Magic Bullet (not THAT kind of bullet) but the one they show in the infomercial so I can mix it up proper like.

Instructional mojito video for those of you who know like I know!!!

You Snooze, You lose!!

2006-12-13T20:49:00.000-05:00

Ya girl needs to seriously get her butt in gear!!! I don't know what it is with me but I am such a procrastinator. I know how I am but it never fails, year after year I wait until the absolute last mintue to get my Christmas shopping done. I have a grip of gifts to get and have only bought two so far and that was online. I bought a mp3 player for my girl and because I was able to get it for such a good price, I decided to get one for myself as well. I think the reason that I am waiting so long is that I really don't know what to get for anyone. You know how people are, they don't want to get specific and are full of "Anything is fine" but let you get something they don't want, like or need....it's a whole 'nother story then. Money would be good but the people I am buying for want something to open on Christmas so a card with money just ain't gone' get it for them(ungrateful heathens). I have one person that really doesn't deserve anything, just moody and rotten for no reason at all, one who doesnt like anything I ever buy (which is usually clothes). I did buy this person a leather coat one year and that,was much appreciated. I have one who is extremely sweet and kind..for her I'll do anything, older folks who request money, but I'll most likely give gifts and then there is FWB who is non-deserving but since I can't do him like that, add him to my list as well. I already bought a few gifts for myself on Black Friday but I am determined that I am getting this one special gift for myself. I NEED this particular thing in my life so bad and I will do just about anything to get it! Ya'll just don't know how good it feels! Maybe I'll share at a later date, maybe I won't. Off to try to see what I can find online. I wonder how late I can order online and still have it arrive in time for Christmas...Hmmmm?

AHHH, Winter time. ...either Love it or Hate it!

2006-12-06T14:20:00.000-05:00

Saturday, I slept until 9 (which is rather late for me) I'm an extreme early bird and like to get up, out, and about early. I'm talking 5, or 6 A.M. early. I skipped the gym too because I didn't feel like dealing with the crowds. (which is one reason why I get up early on the weekends,I am in and out of the gym before most even wake up). I just fixed me some coffee and oatmeal (Makes your mouth water doesn't it lol.) and caught up with my MTV reality shows. FWB called around one and said he was stopping by. He showed up with takeout and a movie (Tai and The Forgotten ) which was really good. I'm not much of a scary movie buff but I did think this was good. Next after looking out of the window he came up with the brilliant idea to go outside and make a snow man. Okay, last time I checked we were two grown ass people but I was down for anything. I got dressed with my thermal underwear, a few pairs of socks, boots, scarves, gloves, hats, and anything else I could find to keep me warm and we headed out. I had a freaking Blast!!!! We made a half-assed snowman, had a snow ball fight, made snow angels, etc. I forgot how exhilarating it is to just let everything go and become a child again. Fwb even let me bury him partially. Isn't infatuation grand? That was exactly what I needed and believe it or not, I was having such a good time I completely forgot about the cold, (and the fact that his ass was still on punishment)at least until I got inside and couldn't feel my fingers and toes. I took a steaming hot shower and made us both some hot chocolate and we just sat around and watched cartoons. Lol we really regressed, but it was great. I suggest everyone take the time to rediscover their childhood. Very relaxing.
Since I'm off today( furniture delivery which is tying up my whole damn day. Why do they say between 8 and 7, like I have all day to sit around and wait for them) I figured I would just update this blog. After going to the gym and bugging my girl at work,I had a little free time lol. I really should be doing laundry and cleaning up a bit but I'm feeling lazy right now. I'll save that for the weekend. I'm supposed to meet my girl Miko(Posse member number 3) at Borders at 3( I hope that damn delivery man is here before then). By the way, that isn't her real name. We met in school and she decided that since school was a new chapter in her life and she wanted to leave the past behind, she would make a new start, complete with new name and all. Her real name is rather plain and ordinary but we all agree that "Miko" has a bit of mystery to it. It's funny because everyone that knew Miko before school, refers to her by her real name. It is just odd to hear people calling her that because I have only known her as Miko. I really dig that thought process. I wish that I had thought to do that. I would've gone by my nick-name. I know you are wondering what it is but :::singing:::: "I'll never tell. I know that I have had this nickname for as long as I can remember. I really hated it growing up. All of my relatives still call me this when I visit and I thought it was sickening. Now I love it and I think it fits me to a tee. Yeah, I know I've really stoked your curiosity now, but Nope, still not telling. Yeah!! Delivery man just called and will be here in about 15 minutes. It's after 2 and that leaves me less than an hour to get dressed, grab a latte, and get over to Borders. It's nice out today too! Woo hoo!

What the Heezy!

2006-12-01T18:37:00.000-05:00

What is going on with this weather? Just this past Wednesday folks were out and about with tank tops and flip flops on. Thursday it's 30 degrees out and today we have a blizzard that threatens to deposit 8-10 inches! What is up with that? Thank God we didn't get that much where I am but some parts of the state did. I must admit, it looks gorgeous out but I do not enjoy going out and cleaning off my car, bumper to bumper traffic, people who creep and crawl because they are scared to drive in the snow and slip/sliding across the free world in an attempt to get to Wal-mart. Not to mention it threw a monkey wrench in my plans to get it worked out...errr..ummm...I mean go work out *wink*. I was so getting spoiled by this lovely weather.(I mean no coat,sandals kind of lovely) I guess its offical huh? WINTER IS FINALLY HERE!!

Oh the sheer madness

2006-11-26T01:05:00.000-05:00

Neva, eva, eva again....I let Miko drag me out yesterday into the Black Friday Madness. We went to Wal-Mart of all places!! Thank God we were fortunate enough not to have any incidents at the store but I am totally shocked at the reports that I have been seeing on the news of people getting trampled and tackled to the ground on their quest to get some bargains. Best Buy is absolutely ridiculous, I wouldn't even attempt to go there for an advertised big sale day. They arrested a 39 year old man for fighting in the line...that's right, a big, grown azz man!! I really didn't have anything in mind that I particulary wanted or needed but you know, Miko is my girl so I had to be there for her. She was going for the 50" plasma TV for $500 I think...(which is a bargain) and because she sees the frenzy going on for the laptops she just had to have one of those too and of course, she talked me into getting one as well. $398, you can't beat that! Of course it doesn't have top of the line specs but it is a good backup for me for the things that I use it for. Plus, when I get tired of it, there is always...Duh DUh Duh Duhnnnn....You guessed it, EBAY!!! I simply cannot believe that Miko had me up and out the door by 1:30 A.M. By the time we got into the store I felt like a human icicle. Miko thrives off of shopping and the whole crowd thing. I have to admit that I did find all of the hoopla,frenzy, and being the first to get a bargain a little bit thrilling too. So now I'm home just relaxing and then I remember that I haven't posted in a few days ,so,Tadaaa...here I am. Right now I need a stiff drink and an even stiffer--well, umm, you know. I haven't had any in a while. Trying to be a good girl, and Now I am horny as hell. I'm glad that I turned off my ringer because if I hear the bass of a sexy male voice who knows what or who i'm liable to do. I am going to kill my girl "J" and her stupid ideas. She promised to give us $50 if we could stay celibate for a month. No dick, no tongues, fingers,toys, veggies, no anything. Of course we all jumped at the opportunity to prove that we rule our bodies and that our bodies do not rule us. So far, we have all managed to stick it out and we only have a few days left until this month is up. One thing I do know is that come December first, someone will be in for the time of their life because I will be riding the shyt out of them lol. (Maybe that was a little too much info) Anyway,I guess I will just fix me something to eat and then get some much needed rest. After putting up with family (some of whom I haven't seen in ages) I really, need some downtime. Don't you just love the holidays?

Damn , damn, damn!!!

2006-11-18T19:33:00.000-05:00

So here I am staring at my closet trying to figure out what I am going to wear tonight knowing my ass would really prefer to stay at home and chill. I got up at the crack of Dawn and hit the gym and needless to say, after my 2 month long absence, I'm still feeling that workout. I have no idea how I always manage to let J talk me into stuff that I really had no intention of doing but she has a way of making you feel guilty and throwing old shyt up in your face so once again, I acquiesced. Now here I am tired as hell, not really feeling up to the baby thugs, bammas, or whomever else I may be likely to encounter at said club. I just hope this is a mature crowd because I am really not in the mood for the 21 year old hip hop heads. I hope my request for a mature crowd doesn't turn around and bite me in the ass because last time I said I didn't want to be out and about with the youngins, my girl had me up in the club with dudes who were the age of my grandfather. Leisure suits, suspenders, toothless , the whole nine. I could've slapped the shyt out of her when I walked in that place but I'm a big girl, I handled myself rather well and just enjoyed myself in spite of..... It wasn't so bad partying with the old timers though, they're not stingy with the drinks and they aren't all up in your face trying to get some either. Had my girl in there talking about "you aren't a real woman unless you can drink tobasco sauce straight." I just looked at her crazy azz and let her handle that. *Sigh* back to tonight. I guess I'll settle on my skinny jeans, black stilletto boots(since I don't plan on doing much of anything but getting my drink on) and some kind of cleavage bearing shirt. lol Gotta bring the sexy back nahimean?

The return of the macktress

2006-11-17T16:55:00.000-05:00

Yes I am back from my hiatus. I haven't had much energy to do anything other than work and sleep. I don't know what is up with me but I am literally drained. I need to get my azz back in the gym stat because when I was working out I always felt great, energy was through the roof and I never felt the urge or need to go to bed early (which currently has been around 9 or 10ish).

Okay, this is the craziest shyt I haveheard all week. My girl and her crazy ass wanted to me to go to Best Buy with her so she can get a Playstation 3 and sell it on Ebay for a grip. I said "Bish, are you crazy?". Those fools have been camped out in tents and shyt since Tuesday. She was serious though and really thought I would get in line with her. She told me that she was going to take off work today and see if she could cut somebody to get one. I tell ya, that girl has no sense whatsoever. Folks have been getting shot and trampled on and she wants to go down there in the midst of that lunacy and then try to cut in front of somebody? I hope I don't see her azz on the news and believe me I have been looking. Please!!!

On another note, I had to put FWB on punishment. His azz has been trippin' hard and I am not the one, hell we aren't even together,technically! We have a sort of You scratch my back, I'll scratch your type of thing going on but a brotha is starting to get too controlling. Had to cut him off for a spell so he can really know what's up. The bad thing is that by cutting him off I cut myself off too and a sista needs her back blown out something fierce! Yeah it would be easy for me to go out and find someone to fill in while he's in the dog house but I am not about the random dick AT ALL!!! I stick to what's familiar wether we are together or not. If we're trying to build something then that's cool but to just go out and let any random nigga sample the goodies is a no no!! (unless I'm drunk and out of my mind. lol Nah, not even then. I've come close to doing the one night stand thing a few times but that's what I have my girls for, to slap some sense into me when I'm acting up. lol They've come through for me everytime and I really appreciate that, Hell I've done the same for them on many an occasion.

Lessons in Life: What I have learned today!

2006-09-29T08:52:00.000-04:00

Now I know this may be a little too much information for some but I am the type of person that if I can help someone by giving them a little advice or something, I'm all for it. I'm posting this life lesson in the hopes that I can possibly save someone from making the same mistake that I have made:

LIFE LESSON 1:

Do Not... I repeat, DO NOT eat Flamin' hot anything. That includes, Cheetos, hot fries, Lays, or anything else labled "flamin' hot". It will light your ass up!! I mean it, your behind will seriously be on fire. As for me, lesson LEARNED !!!!

Grrrrrr.....!!!!!! The Nerve!

2006-09-23T23:05:00.000-04:00

The NERVE of them!!!! Don't get me wrong, I love my job and all,(well I love the money they pay me) but I simply cannot believe that they had the audacity to call me into the office ASAP on MY DAY OFF!!! Not only that, but I am required to put in an appearance tomorrow as well!!! I understand that Monday is a big day and all but isn't it enough that I devote 8+ hours of my life to them Monday through Friday? Do they now have to infiltrate my weekends too? I was highly upset! I know it's getting down to crunch time, but this is the weekend dammit! I went in at 8 A.M. and left at 1 today and tomorrow I have to make it in an hour earlier.

Anyway, the one saving grace of this day is that I was able to meet up at the spa with my girls. The massage alone was well worth it. You all know how I love to be felt up and rubbed down lol. Anyway, in addition to the massage, I had a facial, manicure and pedicure. I wanted to get my hair done also but the wait would've been over an hour so I have to do that next time. I'm just wierded out. It feels so wierd being home at this hour on a Saturday night. Either I'm out or I have people over, one of the two but alone? NEVER!!! I guess I'll just enjoy my solace. I just took a bubble bath and am sitting here in my terry robe, footies (yeah the kind with the ball on the back don't act like you don't know)and my hair wrapped up in a towel. When I'm finished here, I'm going to have a mojito and curl up with a good book. Reading and orgasms are two sure fire ways to get some ZZZZZ"s. At least for me they are. I'll settle for the reading tonight though. I don't want to happen upon a weak moment and end up inviting FWB over and have him keep me up all night.

Now that I think about it, spending alone time is something that I need to do more often. Yes! I think that I will dedicate one or two nights a week just to myself. I'll turn off my ringer,order in, watch movies, blast my music, jump on the bed, walk around the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want to do!!! It has been long overdue. I think in my partying and socializing I kind of lost sight of the things that I used to love to do. I love art...all kinds. I love to draw and sing(yes I can sing and I do sound good!) I had even begun painting a little bit and put all of that off because my socializing and working took up all of my time. My one true love though is photography. I absolutely LOVE it!!!. There is something about being in a darkroom. The chemicals, the red light, placing the film in the developer and swishing it around...all so empowering. Man I so miss that. Black and white photography is my favorite. I actually got into it when I was in junior high. Thanks, in part, to a summer program in which I was involved. The love that I had for it then actually stuck with me over the years. I really thought that I would end up being a photographer. Well that was my dream, yanno? Traveling all over the world and telling a story with no words... Just pictures? That would be so amazing but unfortunately that love seemed to have fallen by the wayside! Hey, I wonder if it is too late to go for it? Does anyone ever really realize their dreams or does it just happen to a select few by some sort of fluke? Nevertheless, I think I will enroll in a photography course to brush up on my skills.

One good thing is this online journaling. Really exhilarating. I've always kept a journal ever since I was a little girl. I had one bad habit of writing everything down and I do mean everything. I have a somewhat nosey mother and she found it twice and read it. Can you believe that, a mother actually reading her daughter's journal? Lol!!! I can laugh about it now but believe me, with some of the things I had written in that journal it was no laughing matter and I tend to get very explicit and detailed. (She found some condoms in my drawer once too but that's a whole 'nother story) Anyway, I was kind of put off after that so slowly but surely I got out of writing in it but this is a good substitute even though I am no where near as forthcoming and detailed as I would be if this was for my eyes only. Anyway, I have my mojito, my book, my bed and my J-O-B (dammit!!) waiting for me so I guess I will call it a night. I might engage in a little....On second thought, that might not be such a good idea. Nighty Night!

The one that got away...or shall I say I threw away.

2006-09-15T20:17:00.000-04:00

Life has gotten in the way and kept me pretty much hemmed up this week. Haven't had too much time to do anything lately including 'net time. Last night I was on my way home from no where special and this song came on the radio. I usually listen to a lot of oldies when I'm driving but this song came on and instantly the memories came flooding back. Isn't it amazing how something so simple can trigger memories of things that you had long since forgotten? I'm not sure but I really believe that this man was my one true love. Now I've been in love (at least I thought it was love) about 2 other times but I really, I mean really loved this particular young man...still do. Unfortunately, distance and new relationships kept us apart after our break but I really and truly believe that I will probably always love this man. It's unreal how much I think about him and it has been some years since we've been together, much less talked to one another. Of course I'm not spending every waking hour focusing on him but every so often, something will trigger a memory and there he is, invading my thoughts. Here we are again, today and he has been on my mind ever since I heard that song last night. Now I'm wondering how he is doing, what he looks like now, is he married, does he have any more kids, is he still teaching, do I ever cross his mind,is he still in Philly or did he move to VA like he always wanted to? I'm not one to dwell on the past but like they say, you never really know what you had until it's gone and in my case it's been gone for quite some time. I guess I'm just holding on to the memory of him moreso than the hope of holding the man himself. It's just weird how the simplest things like a song, a smell, a phrase, or a particular food can bring this rush of nostalgia back. Yes, I've been in relationships since him and No, I am not comparing every man that I meet to him but I can't help but think that in my youthful irresponsibility and carefree wayfaring, I may have chosen MR. Right Now as opposed to MR Right. Ah well.... la vida sigue!! No time for what ifs I suppose, reality calls...shall I answer? Do I really have a choice?

A Time to Chill!!

2006-09-08T17:10:00.000-04:00

I have about another hour at this place and then I will be heading for home. This weekend, I decided to take a little bit of time for myself. No company, no phone calls, no going out, no bothers, no men, no friends and no worries PERIOD!!!. I am heading to a little bed and breakfast all by my lonesome. I haven't told anyone(well I will call my mother and let her know the name and number of the place where I'll be staying) and I am purposely leaving my celly at home. I just need to relax and unwind and spend some alone time. I don't plan on doing much of anything other than enjoying my solitude. I may catch up on a few movies, read some books, write a little bit, take some walks... who knows. I haven't quite decide If I am going to take my lappy with me (as I may or may not have mentioned before, it goes everywhere I go) As of right now, I'm leaning towards leaving it where it lay, after all, the internet will be there when I get back. The bed and breakfast is about an hour drive for me. I was seriously thinking about taking the bus or train (don't much feel like driving) and I haven't been on a train in forever. I really enjoy train rides but since it is getting down to crunch time, I may as well just drive. If I enjoy myself enough and decide to make this my regular get-a-way spot,I will definitely plan in advance and take the train.

Agree or disagree?

2006-09-05T20:08:00.000-04:00

Still recouping from my extended weekend so for now this will suffice. I don't necessarily agree with the majority of this but I found it to be extremely amusing.
This is a list of rules that guys wished women knew...

1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.

2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

3. Don't make us guess.

4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you.
Live with it.

6. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."

7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not
different, it's just like every other cat.

8. Dogs are better than cats.

9. Sunday = Sports.
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.

11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

12. You have enough clothes.

13. You have too many shoes.

14. Crying is blackmail.
Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

15. Your brother is an idiot.

16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

17. No, he doesn't know what day it is.
He never will.
Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

18. Share the bathroom.

19. Share the closet.

20. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

22. Nothing says 'I love you' like sex in the morning.

23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

24. Check your oil.

25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

26. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

27. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

28. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing
from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

29. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

31. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women,
how can we know how pretty you are?

32. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

33. You can either ask us to do something OR
tell us how you want it done-not both.

34. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their
right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

35. Don't make 50 rules when 35 will do.

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

2006-08-30T21:30:00.000-04:00

Last night, FWB and I went out to this little neighborhood spot where his boy bartends. It was cool, we got our drink on, chatted, and just kicked it until the wee hours of the morning(which in reality was only 10:00 P.M. lol because I had to be at work this morning) Before he dropped me off, we decided to go to IHOP because we were both feeling a bit famished...Plus, those funnel cakes were calling a sista loud and clear. We get there and we are heading towards a booth. While I'm walking, this cat is trying to holla talking about " Damn shawty, you looking good this evening girl". I look over and there are about 6 thugged out cats (beaters, sagging jeans, drawz showing, cornrows, the whole nine) crowded into this little booth. I don't respond and we keep walking towards our table. We are looking over the menu and dude comes and sits across from us at the empty table and says "What's your name shawty? You should come and sit with us?" I say "Excuse me, but do you mind? Can you not see that I am with someone?" Then he says "Fuck that nigga!" And I say "That is exactly what I plan to do tonight if we ever get the opportunity to order and eat without interruption." dude walks away calling me various bitches... all the while I'm looking at FWB who hasn't parted his lips AT ALL. Instead, he says "Let's go, I'm not hungry." I'm like "Well I am" and he says "We can go somewhere else." I oblige him and get up off my ass and proceed to follow him out of the place amidst those trifling negroes still talking shit and doing it rather loudly. I asked him why we were leaving and he said he just didn't feel like eating there. I couldn't help but feel a bit miffed because this cat just sat there and said nothing. I was hurt because I kind of wanted him to say something, defend my honor(so to speak) but instead he let this dude punk him ( may or may not have been true but that is how I saw it at the time) He offered to stop and get a burger somewhere and I declined (I wanted that funnel cake dammit) He dropped me off and I just hopped out the car, no goodbye , no see ya later, no nothing. Talk about a sista being pissed. I spent dayum near half the day today wondering why this dude didn't even attempt to say anything. Now this isn't the first time something like this has happened. One time, we were going to a B Ball game. It was hot as hell outside and I had on these short (alright they were kind of short but not that damn short) but anyway, this negro insisted that I change my clothes. I told him that I would not, we were just going to a basketball game at the school gym and since the day was almost over, it made no sense to change out of my tank top and shorts. He told me that I better change because he wasn't trying to be getting into it with no niggas over me. Again, I refused and do you know that he did not go to the game? (well it isn't the same scenario but I thought that was kind of a drastic stance given that he didn't even know if anyone would be paying me any mind) Anyway, back to the IHOP incident. I had to call him and ask him and he said that he is too old to be out there trying to fight 6 niggas. He felt that the best thing to do was just to leave and while I sort of, kind of understand his point..I'm still a bit hurt by his actions or lack thereof. Deep down I know that he couldnt really do anything with 6 cats when it was only 1 of him plus me . Hell yeah!! I would've jumped on a few backs or lit a couple of cojones up with my stilettos or something. ( I gets live fo' my nigga...what? What? J/k about the gets live part) and I really didn't expect them to start throwin' bows up in the IHOP but dayum, can I at least get a "Fuck you back nigga" or something? I need a man that I can feel safe with, someone who, when the shyt gets to poppin' off, is there to have my back. (doesn't matter if my mouth is the thing that got the shyt started in the first place) Right or wrong,I need someone who is down for me. What if someone tried to rob me, snatch me up or something? Is he just gonna stand around and let said robber/snater-upper do what he wants, not say anything, not do anything? I need to feel protected and last night that feeling was no where to be found. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Looks Like My Intuition was right on with this one.

2006-08-29T10:39:00.000-04:00

So John Mark Karr's DNA Didn't match. Why am I not surprised? From the first moment that I saw this man's mug all over the news,something just really didn't sit right with me. I have always doubted that he was the murderer. Crazed...possibly, weird...definitely, but murderer...Nahh! I also figured that even though he wasn't responsible for Jon Benet Ramsey's death, because people really wanted to finally bring this mystery to an end, they would find some way to pin it on him anyway. They let him go but really, what would be an appropriate punishment for this man for straight up lying like that? He is obviously a very disturbed young man and for him to be allowed to go free and move on with his life just doesn't seem appropriate to me. This man lied, wasted tax payers dollars being flown from Thailand to Los Angeles to Colorado, Feasting on lobster, duck and champagne and shyt. Now you know that just isn't right. For a grown man to be obsessed with a little girl is abnormal in itself and since he obviously has child molesting tendencies, I think he definitely needs some type of counseling as well as a psychiatric evaluation. Yanno,nip that shyt in the bud before he really does take it a step further and rape and kill a child. (So far they've only got him for child porn) As far as jail time, I do think he needs some type of imprisonment but not in the penal system. He's so frail and feminine looking, he wouldn't last one night. Maybe a mental instituion would be better suited to his needs. I just want to really know why he did it...confessed. Attention seeking? 15 minutes of fame? Notoriety? I can't call it. I think that is the part that didn't make the most sense to me. Why confess if you have gotten away with murder for 10 years? Not only that, but he was safely out of the country at that! Now I know guilt is a strong emotion and the power of God is by far stronger but unless he had some type of religious epiphany, I really can't see the point in a confession. Just my ponderings this A.M.

Memories

2006-08-27T20:42:00.000-04:00

Today my girls and I went to the spa. Sundays are usually reserved for the spa but I haven't been in about 3 weeks. After today, you can best believe my ass will be there every Sunday from here on out! I really needed to be rubbed down, pampered, and just doted on! I didn't realize how much I really, really needed that. It also gave me a chance to spend some quality time with the girls catching up on gossip and shyt. Not that I don't talk to those heffas every day and see at least one of them daily, but you know it's hard to get all of us together without putting forth plenty of effort and aforethought (especially since one of the crew is now bogged down by the old ball and chain.) I hated to leave such a relaxing environment but they would've had to start charging me rent had I not decided to carry my ass home. I look great, I feel great, relaxed and mellow and my skin looks and feels like Butta~~~ Butta, I tell ya! So I get home and I'm just chillin', sippin'on a JD twisted and watching Ghost ( don't act like ya'll don't know about the Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Whoopi Goldberg flick) and I hear the phone ring. The caller ID says cellular call (gotta love the caller ID, can screen mofo's 'til my hearts content) and I recognize the area code as being that of Philly. I answer the phone and since the voice isn't familiar to me..I do my speil of "who's calling" blah, blah, blah. Turns out to be an ex whom I haven't spoken to in about 4 or 5 years. Why did he call and want to read some love letters that I had written to him over 10 years ago? lol It's so weird how things like that can affect you. Now mind you, I haven't spoken with this particular young man in years, much less thought about him, but since we hung up, he has been on my mind way to much. We had a some what volatile relationship. Back then, I was truly a party girl and all we did was drink, smoke and fuck. Man, we had some mind blowing sex. Whew Chile!!! Did we have some dayum good sex! ( got me reminiscing and shyt haha!) But we all know a fuck ( no matter how mind blowing) does not a good and solid relationship make. We vowed to keep in touch though...well he did since it's no big secret that I'm extremely bad about calling folks. He is supposed to call me later on. I seriously would never consider getting back together with him. I did see him a few years back. I was in Philly visiting a friend and she and I had a falling out. I guess she called herself kicking me out of her house so she called him to come and pick me up. He did and was in the process of carrying my bags to his car when we made up and I decided to continue my visit with her. I wasn't too attracted to him then because he had changed so much since the time we were together. I can say this though, he is doing well, financially and in his career. Much better than he did when he was with me (which isn't too hard to do because he wasn't doing shyt when he was with me.) Now he's damn near making 6 figures and talking about getting his Masters to boot. Ain't that some shyt though? When we were together all this man could think about was eating, drinking, smoking and fucking. I'm proud of him though and secretly I take pleasure and some of the credit for him finally getting on the grind and doing something with himself. I held his ass down while we were together, put up with all of his BS,listened when he needed an ear, gave advice, cheered him on and loved him unconditionally when he was at his lowest (I'm talking rock bottom, suicidal shyt here.. I guess the military really does fuck with a brothas mental) I'm pleased at how far he's come and I am so happy that he is doing well. I also know how Bey feels with the thought of another bitch reaping Her rewards which brings me to my next question: Why is it that guys don't want to do shit while they are with you but as soon as you break up they then decide to get their shit together? Maybe if he had been on the ball like he is now, we would've still been together. Nahhh I doubt it. He had major issues and drama and I had some baggage of my own. In hindsight, I now realize it never would've worked (and to think we both thought we would be married to each other by now)I couldn't trust him. He cheated on me and even though I tried to forgive him I just couldn't and that was it for us. Anyway, I do wish him well but now I'm hungry so let me go rustle me up something to eat or better yet, have someone pick me up some food from my favorite bistro! I'm feeling like a slammin' greek salad and some french bread right about now!

Random Thoughts...cause my shit is all over the place today

2006-08-25T13:28:00.000-04:00

~~If this Bytch says "You let that be the reason" one mo'time...
~~So what, you read a muthafuggin' book
~~We all know you got that shyt from Vickie Stringer
~~Come up with something new because you are wearing the hell out of that phrase.
~~Once? twice? possibly three times...alright,but after every word you say?
~~Bytch Puhleeze! Definitely time to update
~~Dude, fall the hell back because I am not feeling you like that
~~Don't pucker up your damn lips and stick your face in my car window
~~Talking about "Where is my kiss?"...Are you mad?
~~You crazy as hell if you think those lips could eva touch mine
~~and if you put your hand on my thigh again...
~~I will be forced to slap the shyt out of you!
~~You ain't slick nigga!
~~Yeah, you are cool as hell, you are funny as hell,
~~Plus, you keep me laughing on the regular
~~Too bad my ass is shallow, other wise you "might could" get it
~~Maybe even on the strength of your sense of humor alone
~~Everybody knows I love me a man with a great sense of humor
~~Be happy with my friendship which is all I'm willing to offer you...Will ya?
~~Why did this chick just yell "Wassup Mi" and flash me a quick smile
~~Now, I know, I just know I did not see a grill up in this bytch's mouth
~~You work the information desk for the entire building
~~which houses big time movers and shakers, at that
~~You deal with the public all day every day
~~You ARE the first impression chica.. and you are white at that!
~~I just know I don't see a dayum grill in your mouth

Leave The Game Playin' to the kiddies

2006-08-22T21:25:00.000-04:00

So, I was talking to my co-worker today (yes, I am back at work and hating every minute of it. I am so ready to retire, but since I am not anywhere near retirement age, I'll take the next best thing and become a kept woman...anyone want to keep me? lol) But anyway, my co-worker was telling me that she is going to divorce her husband. Truth be told, I think it is because she just recently got promoted and now that she makes more money than he does(How much more? I have no idea) she thinks he is not good enough for her. She says she doesn't THINK that is the reason (keyword here is think) and even if it is, she also thinks that he is too weak. I told her that she better think twice because there are plenty of women ready and willing to fill her shoes. She says she really doesn't care and then she tells me that she and the hubby were conversing and he asked her if she was seeing anyone. She told him yes, and he then asked if they were sleeping together. Again, she said "Yes" and just to add more fuel to the fire, she also told him and I quote "And it was damn good too." Just like a bish to rub salt in the wound, isn't it? My jaw was damn near on the floor because I know for a fact that this is a good man. I also know the things that she did to get this man and now she wants to complain because a muthaplucka is too nice or weak as she put it? But anyway, she was pissed because this man did nothing... had virtually no reaction(at all) to her admission of guilt. I told her that maybe he was just tired of the bullshit. Not everyone is into game playing or maybe he is just as tired of you as your are of him. She said "Yeah, but most men would've smacked their woman if she said something like that" and I said "Is that what you want? Him to beat your ass over it?" She said "No" and I said "Well really, what could he do? Yeah, he could've beat your ass up and down the block but really, would that change anything?" I thought about it some and if it were me and my man told me that shit, I'd probably say "Okay" and keep it moving. Why act a fool and get pissed off over something that you have no control over and can't do anything about? Shoot, if a dude don't want you he don't want you and the same goes for a woman. The only thing left to do is "Be out" and move on with your life. I swear, some women really love drama! Always complaining about not being able to find a man and when they get one, "He's too nice, he's too weak" or some other lame excuse of why the relationship cannot be. Puhleeeze, miss me with the bullshit. I was listening to Michael Baisden yesterday on my way home from work and he posed these questions: Do women want a roughneck? Do nice guys really finish last? When I was in my teens I was a subscriber to the "Too nice" thing too but as I've matured, I have come to realize that nothing good can come of a relationship with a rough neck, thug, or whatever they are calling themselves these days. I would've run over the nice guy (literally) just to get to the thug. Something about the type, I found exciting(still do), but now give me the nice guy anyday. As for the co-worker, she is dead set on leaving her man and I advised her to give it plenty of thought before she sets the wheels in motion because the grass on the other side of the fence may be just as dried out and wilted as your own lawn. As for him, happiness and living well is the best revenge. I know she would be sick about it if she ever saw him with another chick on his arm.

Ring The Alarm

2006-08-16T21:26:00.000-04:00

Yeah yeah, I know I've missed a few days but I needed each and every one of them to recup from that pawty I went to. The Cristal and Moet was flowing freely and my dumb behind felt the need to drink until I couldn't drink anymore. On top of that (since I'm really a beer girl at heart) I was mixing it with the liquor and well ya'll know where I ended up. Hugging that porcelain throne. I mean dayum, I haven't been like that since my college years and I never ever want to get like that again. My head was thumping for 2 days straight and I couldn't really tell ya what else happened that night. I didn't really see any celebs. A few rappers and a couple of ballers (couldn't tell ya who they were ) but anyway, that's that.

So Beyonce's second video was released... "Ring The Alarm." (check it out below if you haven't already)

Despite the Carmen Jones-esque rapping/screaming/singing delivery(and Ya'll know I'm talking abpout her MTV performance and not the performance of Ms. Dorothy Dandrige),I kind of like the song. All I want to know is WTF did Jay do to Bey or is it "Sasha" this time? I mean dayum!!! He must've put the "jammy" on her and now he got her going crazy... threatening peeps and thangs. She may as well have gone on and said Rhianna's name since we all know that is who this little ditty is directed at (don't act like ya'll haven't heard the rumors and buzz about Jay and Rhi Rhi) I ain't mad at ya Bey though. That's yo shyt girl, g'wan and claim your man. Let them other hoes know what's really up!! I don't know who comes up with the concept for her videos because lately they have been a bit wack and lacking. Okay Okay, I am seeing a hint of a Basic Instinct theme but yet and still, Bey needs to stick to sangin ' and leave the videos to the pros if this video vision was all her. Let someone else come up with a story line, concept, theme or something. Because those random spastic shots ain't gonna get it. The bish looks good (as always) and It's a step up from Dejavu but come on now, is that really saying much?

Oh, one more thing since I missed my Flava of Love update. I'm so fuckin' glad that spunkeey is gone! That hatin' ass bish needed to be gone with the quickness and I got my wish. I mean dayum! There ain't that much hating in the world but somehow that corny chick managed to slam every other female on the show. I 'm glad Flava saw through her gimmick and sent the hoe packing..but I gotta give it to her though. She played her role to the hilt... even conjoured up some fake ass tears to boot..but alas her 3.5 seconds of fame are up so ummm...Spunkeey(aka Maria Dunbar),You are the weakest link..... Buhbye Bish!!!

Decisions, Decisions!

2006-08-11T21:25:00.000-04:00

Let me preface this post by saying You wanna get cut? *pullin' out my blade* Then ask me how I did at the casino today! On the bright side, I am going to the grand opening of this club tonight. Yeah, yeah I know I should be getting ready but we aren't leaving until 11ish. My girl calls and says we need to be there because it's the place to be and it's been advertised as the "hot" new club. Because she is friends with a friend of the owner, we would most definitely get the VIP treatment(as if there is any other way). I'm getting excited and then I ask her what she is wearing, and this ho says an evening gown. Shooot, I was about to make it a jean night for real. I was thinking some skinny jeans, colorful cami and some stilettos until she tells me that the dress code is red carpet sexy...RED CARPET SEXY? WTF is that? I would most definitely be sexy in my jeans but who ever heard of red carpet sexy? What do they expect, a floor length ball gown with plunging neck and back lines and a swanky, sophisticated updo. I don't know. That threw a wrench in my whole plan now I have to come up with another ensem. I guess I can throw on a dress but I'll be damned if I wear an evening gown to a club opening, floor length one at that. Anyway, let me get off of here and ransack the closet for the perfect little dress.

Will I ever Learn.

2006-08-10T22:08:00.000-04:00

I posted yesterday about losing my money at the casino and one would think that would be lesson enough--- right? WRONG!!! I took my butt right on back there today and this time I lost $160. I don't know what is wrong with me. I was the only person who didn't win today and yes, I was pissed. I'm a hater!! I admit it and what? I was perfectly fine with my losing streak when I had my girl losing right along with me. Didn't matter that the two other people with me had their machines jingling and clinking like crazy. At least I wasn't the only one losing. About 5 minutes before we were about to leave, my girl won $241+ dollars, on the 2 cent slot machine no less. I wanted to be happy for her, I really did but dayum, why couldn't that be me...ya know? I wanted to at least win back the money that I threw away on my frivolous spending spree(ie. I don't have shyt to show for it and don't even know what I spent it on). AAh well, I may as well close out the week day with a bang and hit up the casino one mo 'gin just to see if my luck has changed any. Ya'll wish me luck and if I win, I might throw a few dollars your way...*wink*

Dayum Right I find It Offensive!

2006-08-09T20:13:00.000-04:00

So today I get a call asking if I want to go out to the casino. I have nothing else planned for today so I say what the hell. Should've stayed my ass right at home because a sista came back broke as hell. Good thing I left all my cards,(credit and banking) in my other purse because those slots were calling me, you hear me? I'm off work until the 18th because I was supposed to keep right on traveling after my weekend jaunt but the rest of the crew is broke. I haven't quite gotten ballsy enough to go on holiday by my lonesome just yet. I figure that I would need at least one other person with me that I can talk shit with. I'm working on the crew though. Hopefully we can do something within the states since out of the country is a no go. Where ever we go, I would like to drive but they would want to fly. I figure it would cost about $300-$400 in gas driving but the benefit of being able to take myself where ever I may fancy once I get there will be well worth it. They would like to fly because it may be cheaper and,of course, you'd get there quicker but a diva like myself is always down for road trippin'.

I know ya'll are probably thinking "What the hell does that have to do with being offended?" I'm getting to that right now. I went with an aquaintance to pick up the kid at summer day camp. I'm sitting in the car waiting for them to come out and this little girl comes running out the door and straight outside the fence (now the fence doesn't have a door on it--it is sort of 2 long fences with a sidewalk in between) The mother comes out with another child and starts yelling to her daughter to "get back here" the daughter comes running back and she tells her that she is not to go past the line because someone could take her. (I'm still in my car looking at them and listening) so she continues to talk to her and then she squats down to her child's level, directly in front of my car(in front of my open window) and don't you know this bitch points directly at me and tells her child that a stranger like this lady will take you.(now I know you are thinking "oh no that bitch didn't and my response would be "oh yes that bitch did". I think that warranted a face to face so I get out of my car and say "Miss, I am not in the business of taking other peoples children." She starts to say something but I cut her off and say "Now I understand the importance of talking to your children about strangers and running off and things but for you to point directly at me and tell your child that this lady will take her is rude and offensive. I have not, nor will I ever feel the need to take someones elses child and I damn sure don't want yours. That's why it's best that you save those types of talks for the privacy of your own home. It took everything in me not to call her out of her name but I kept it civil and held my tongue. She apologized and said that she meant nothing by it and she also said that she was sorry, to wich I responded "As you should be!" Although I couldn't hear everything she said (I saw her point and heard the part about me) I wouldn't have put it past her not to have told her child to be wary of the niggers because they will take her. (Yes, she was white in case you are wondering) but that really makes no difference at all. She could've been African American, Asian, Hispanic or what have you and I still would've had the same reaction. Rudeness is rudeness no matter race, color, creed, or class and with me, always, ALWAYS unacceptable. *stepping down off of my soapbox*

A few flicks from my weekend jaunt

2006-08-08T17:35:00.000-04:00

As short of a jaunt as it was, I still managed to take a few pics and you better not say anything about my pic-taking skills either because ya girl never claimed to be a master photog. I really had my heart set on taking a couple of photosgraphs inside the civil rights museum but alas, it was not meant to be as cameras, camera phones,camcorders and the like were prohibited. The museum was an eye opener and some of the sights could've definitely brought out the bish in a negra if her heart wasn't in the right place. Just a few flicks. (click the bottom right hand corner to flip through the album in case you didn't know)

Fla-vor Flaaaaav!!! Yeahhhh Boyyyyyy!

2006-08-07T07:35:00.000-04:00

What we all have been waiting for has finally arrived. Yes, That is right, the second season of Flavor OF Love aired yesterday on VH1 and it did not disappoint! If you are unfamiliar with the show(what planet are you on?), it stars Flavor Flav (Hype man for the rap group Public Enemy) and a slew of women vying for his affections. Each week, Flavor spends time with the women (personally and in groups) dating, taking them places, putting them to the test and at the end of each week several women are eliminated. Those who are chosen to stay, are presented with a big ass clock(ala Flav's trademark) and it starts all over until one woman is left standing to ride off into the sunset with Mr. Flava. Last season was plaqued with golddiggers galore and the winner, MS. HOOPZ(gold digging, fame-seeking,thirsty chick),

ended up leaving Flavor as soon as the cameras stopped rolling. She was all about the money and her 15 minutes of fame (and believe me that bish got her money's worth.)leaving Flav no choice but to try his hand at love again.

On to this week's episode. The girls are clamoring to meet Flav and as expected there is a wide variety for him to choose from. Flav didn't seem to have the same enthusiasm as last year, but he had quite a mix ranging from the attractive,("Krazy", "Deelishis", "Beatuful" "Buckeey", "Nibblz", "Tiger", "Bootz" Payshintz", "Spunkeey",) to the ""unpretty ("Somethin","Like Dat", "H-town","Wire") just to name a few. The stand outs are "Buckwild", the self proclaimed crazy black chick (although she is obviously white, I would agree and say that she is indeed, The blackest white chick you would ever want to meet.) "Toastee"(named because she obviously likes to get her drink on as evidenced by the fact that the chick was "lit" as soon as the first bottle was cracked open.) "Spunkeey", (the hater of the group.) Yes, she is an attractive female but lacking in self confidence and esteem because this bish had a negative comment to say about everyone in the house. Not to mention the fact that she is an obvious lover of drama and a trick (not in the whorish sense as we haven't had a chance to see that side yet) but in the sense that she is already running back to Flav tattling on some of the girls) "Nibblz"( who has a hellified lisp which Flavor likens to that of Mr. Mike Tyson---she's also a self proclaimed ear biter as well), "Somethin",( the "Big Girl" with mucho attitude who speaks her mind and keeps it R-E-A-L) they are also the Bi/lesbians of the house. They lick clit and aren't ashamed to say so! "EYEZ", (Flavor's personal spy who was sent to get the low -low on the girls and report back to Flav to help weed out the diggaz, hoes, and fame seeking chicks) and "Like Dat", the supersized mama (with the super sized breastis to match who talks a good game but doesn't really have the looks to back it up (which is shallow as hell, I know but that's Hollywood for ya.)

This episodes starts off with a bang!! After meeting and naming the girls, Flav sends them to pick a bed knowing that there are more women than beds. H-town (white chick and a Black chick) are squabbling over the beds which the black chick appeared to have gotten to first. H-town then proceeds to take the black chick's flowers and throw them at her hitting her in the face and that was all she wrote. MS. Black chick went off and pushed her and then had her in a headlock pounding her in her head and all I could hear was "Ouch!, No! Get off of me!" H-town received a thorough Ass whupping that day.( feel free to view said asswhuppin' below)

Flav , upon hearing the ruckus, is quick to let the girls know that his show is not the Flavor Springer show and he ain't having it in his crib. He then summons each member involved in the smackdown to his quarters to get each of their stories separately (peep the aftermath below)

Flavor then reveiwed the tape which showed that both girls were obvious liars but he still chose to kick the black chick off ( it's a shame too because she would've made for great TV )and while doing so, the white chick seemed to regain enough courage to talk shit galore knowing that Flav's right hand man was there to hold old girl back. After the melee, the girls continue to drink and try to spend some one-on-one time with Flav. During the eliminations Flav revealed his spy and chose 12 ladies to keep (some based on the reccommmendations of EYEZ, his spy,) and presented them with ginormous clocks. After the ladies who weren't chosen("Choclate", "Hood", "H-Town", "Bama and the blackest white chick, "Buckwild") left, the ladies and Flav start to smell something. The stench is horrid and while trying to figure out the source of it, Flav views the tape and sees one of the girls, dip out of the frame for a few and then return. They also see her going up the stairs. A few minutes later one of the girls also goes upstairs and sees a pile of shit on the steps(that's right yall, real live doodoo,dookey,turds,crap,mess or whatever you want to call it). Flav is rather puzzled as they don't have any dogs in the house and noticing that "Somethin" is the only girl not present but missing,they deem her the obvious culprit. They go upstairs, where "Somethin" is in the restroom(that bitch better be cleaning herself up thoroughly) and Flav knocks on the door while the other ladies are giggling and talking shit. "Somethin" peeks out and takes responsibility for shitting on herself (without the least bit of shame I might add. Now that's a real Bish there) and trailing it up the stairs saying "yeah I did it but I had to go, I tried to hold it but my stomach was like bitch, you got me fucked up." Flav handles it like a pro. It was obvious that he was a little "shitty" at her but he respected her gangsta in the fact that she kept it real which was rather refreshing in the midst of a plethora of obvious fake beeyatches! I was wondering how this season would fair. They needed to come hard to top last season's drama with New York and Punkin and as expected Flavor and the girls did not disappoint!! I'll definitely be watching this season, You be sure to check it out if you can!

Bo knows, But this chick didn't--until it was too late!

2006-08-06T21:31:00.000-04:00

Why is it that whenever I leave town, I am filled with such dread and despair upon my return?( well maybe those words are too harsh but a girl is seriously hating to come back home to the same old, same old) I absolutely hate coming back and I had such a good time too. Of course,the fact that I had to get up at 4:00 in the A.M. in order to meet my ride at 5:30 so I could catch my 7:30 A.M. flight could've had something to do with it. While I'm waiting for the plane to arrive so that I can board, I notice some luggage sitting off to the side unattended.(like I stated in a previous post, this sista here, doesn't miss a beat. I notice everything and everyone) The disabled passengers and families with small children have already boarded and it's time for the remaining passengers to board. Still, no one claims the luggage so a few passengers start to board and then all of the sudden, a man comes running up and he is none other than Bo Jackson. (Although he looked familiar, I couldn't really place the face until the end of the flight) but I say to him "So that's who this luggage belongs to" and he responds "Yes, now did you take all that money out that I had in there" and I said "I sure did, but I was careful to leave you a couple of dollars just in case you find yourself in need." He says "Thanks for making it lighter for me and I say "Any time gorgeous, Any time" He boards and heads for the final rows in the rear of the plane, I sit a little more toward the front. At some point during the flight, he comes and sits beside me and we strike up a silly convo with him never letting on who he is. By silly, I mean more of a joking banter back and forth like the exchange about the luggage we had earlier. He returns to his seat a little before we land but not before telling me that he enjoyed "shootin' the breeze with me" and I replied "likewise." All the while,I'm still trying to figure out where I know this man from. All of a sudden it hits me, those "Bo knows" commercials run through my head and I'm like "That's it! He looks like Bo Jackson" but because this man looked extrememly young(he's actually 44 but looked much younger with a tight and fit body) and I vaguely remember his commericals airing around the same time OJ was running through the airport for Hertz, I dismissed that thought for the time being. I deboard and hit the restroom and as I'm exiting, I see him running (guess he was running a bit late) through the concourse and I yell out "I knew you looked familiar" and then I said "Bo Knows" and he starts to laugh and then says "Gotcha! Hey, what's your name and number? Now I'm not above a bit of ghettoness every now and then, but shouting out my name and number in a crowded airport in an attempt to get a retired athlete to call was a bit much so I played it off like I didn't hear him and kept it moving. Too bad for him. lol! Maybe I should brush up on my ballers (players) so I can have some sort of inkling the next time one should cross my path!*wink*

Can a bish be any less discreet?

2006-08-02T13:45:00.000-04:00

I just returned from my lunch date with the guy that I previously posted about, the guy whom (while in my inebriated state)almost got me to commit cardinal sin number 1: leaving the club with a stranger for a night of pure raw, unadulterated, unbridled intercourse) Well anyway, we've met up on our lunch breaks before to dine together but this time was much more post worthy. By the way, my lunch was delicious *still licking my lips*. I had the grilled salmon with asparagus spears (yum yum) and an iced white tea lightly sweetened. It sure did hit the spot, I think I may stop by when I get off and pick up a duplicate for dinner since it is too hot to even begin to think about cooking. But anyway, we meet about a block from the place and walk over together. I may or may not have mentioned this before but this man is smart, sexy, good looking and most importantly EMPLOYED which equals PAID in his line of work! He's not really my type but I sense that we are well on our way to establishing a pretty cool friendship. While we're dining and conversing, I see these two broads at the table across from us staring my date up and down. Now, I'm not totally opposed to this because like I mentioned before, I can most definitely appreciate the attractiveness of a member of the opposite sex (shoot the same sex for that matter) but could them bitches at least be tactful about it. Everytime I look up, their eyes are on my table and my date. As we all know, Men are totally oblivious to such blatant ogling and the like ( How many times have you told a member of the male species that a certain female is trying to get at him and he says "Nah", "We're just friends" " She has a man" until one day she is so obvious about putting the moves on him (even to the point of getting butt ass naked and ready to spread 'em as soon as an opportunity arises)that he can no longer live in denial. Me, more times than I can count. The men in my family can be unbelieveably clueless at times. But anyway, I tell him that I think he has some stans or at the very least some admirers to which he replied. "Mi, you're crazy, they aren't thinking about me) I let it go and continue to enjoy lunch. We finish and I go to the restroom to fix myself up a bit , you know check to make sure there is no asparagus stuck in my teeth, refresh my MAC( don't even think to ask what MAC is, because if you don't know, you betta ask a diva) and give the hair a fluff or two. Anyway, as I'm heading back to the table, he is in the process of paying for our meal and I see the waitress give him a piece of paper. Small, albeit, but this sista here doesn't miss a thang!! I slow up a bit to time my arrival with her departure, then have a seat. I ask him what was that the waitress had given him and he shows it to me. The name scrawled on the torn napkin was Tamika and since our waitress was the whitest white girl one could possibly be, I knew it was from the stans across the way. Which one didn't matter but anyway, the waitress returns his card to him, I pick up my handbag and we start to walk out. On our way out, I head straight for the two chicks' table, walk up to them and say "Gorgeous isn't he?" and wink at one of the girls. She puts on a phony smile and smirks when I proceed to drop the number on the table and tell her unfortunately he won't be needing this because he is with me. I return her same phony smile and smirk, then head on out the door with my date in tow. Don't really know ( or give a fuck about how she reacted or what she had to say)I was out the door not giving them beyatches a second thought or glance. Don't really care what he thought either. All he could say was You are crazy!! Yeah it was sort of bold as we aren't together but I see it like this, you belong to me while we are together be it friend, lover, FB, or what.

Under the circumstances, I think a big, old, all inclusive"FUCK U" is warranted:

And a hefty "FUCK U" to the stan who couldn't seem to control her wandering eyes today at lunch!

A lil' Sumpin' sumpin' for the shoe whores out there!!

2006-08-01T10:18:00.000-04:00

If you are anything like me, you will absolutely *heart* these shoes! I am a tried and true shoe whore. They are my passion, just like frangances! (yeah, I'm a fragrance whore as well) I was doing what a diva does best and that is shopping, (online) because a bish cannot be out in the midst of this heatwave. It's 101 today (and climbing no doubt) but anyway, I came across this awesome site. Unfortunately they have no store in my city but thank God for the Internet!!! But anyway, This designer has tastes that mirror my own. I'm an eclectic type of chick. I'm not opposed to creating my own style and wearing some off-the wall shyt and not giving a dayum. When I saw these shoes I fell in love *drool*. Especially the first pair (which I commented on in the photo). This shoe is aptly named "The Porn" because you will feel like a tried and true whore when every man is walking around lusting after you after peeping your shoe game. These shoes are a steal ranging from $49.99 -$74.99 (ladies we know you can fend for yourself but still, make that man pay haha!) He'll love looking at your feet in "The Porn" while your legs are up on his shoulders and he is giving it to ya good(at least I hope he is), Besides, You are worth it!!. Enjoy Bishes!

Keep Yourselves

2006-07-31T21:52:00.000-04:00

So, I was watching some reruns of Making The Band when I was appalled at the fact that Andrea, (one of the band members) was actually losing sleep over a dude. Man up girl and get with the program. You are about to blow-up (Of course, it's a long shot being that they are involved with Puffy, the career killa, but hopefully it will happen for you) I mean that chick called her man just about every hour on the hour, but what I found even more incredulous, was the fact that this man never had time to talk to her. He was either in the studio (he's a supposed producer), on the way to the club, out with his boys, had people waiting for him and blase' blah. The poor girl was practically begging this guy to talk to her only for a few minutes and he couldn't (or wouldn't) do that. Now during this episode I can say that she called him at least 6 times wth him never having more than 2 to 3 minutes (if that) to talk to her. Fast forward a bit, she calls and this man has the nerve to get on her for not calling him the previous night (she fell asleep). Now from the very first time she called him I'm dayum near shouting at the Tele "drop that nigga girl, he's up to no-good" But I was literally speechless when this guy actually broke up with her for not calling. Now you and I both know that this nigga was probably fucking around from the time she hopped on a plane to Miami and that was just the perfect opportunity and (excuse for him to drop her) but dayum mayun, at least be honest? Why is it that we females become so consumed by our relationships? I mean our relationships become our lives and pretty soon we end up losing ourselves. We want to eat, sleep, and breathe that nigga that we know don't mean us a bit of good. We make sure we're home because he "might" call and the keyword here is "Might". We get mad when he doesn't and end up calling him trying to find out where he was last night and with whom and why he didn't call? He tells us he doesn't love us anymore and we lock ourselves in our rooms, eating ice-cream and crying our eyes out and for what? I say fuck that nigga? That's right, I said it, say it with me, FUCK DAT NIGGA!!" Take your game to the next level and make sure that man knows that you are the number 1 priority in all instances and he is dayum lucky to have you. He doesn't call, so what? Don't bombard him with 20 questions about why, where, and when, but instead, make him feel like he wasn't even missed. Let him know that he dayum sure can be NEXTED if he continues to fuck up. Go on about your life, if you have plans, keep them, don't alter them because dude might show up. You are wayyy more important than that. Start putting yourselves first and let him get in where he fits in. Never let a plain dude (or any dude for that matter) rule your world because you are running thangz around here. Always remember that!

Speaking of Danity Kane(that's the name of the Making The Band group), Wassup with that CD Photo? Why can't the black chicks ever get a chance to be front and center. Why do they have ugly Aubrey in the middle like the bitch really can sing? Like Ms. Jones said "only 3 of ya'll bitches can sing" and those three would be Dawn, Aundrea, And D woods (and even she is iffy). If I was D woods(aka Juanita), I would be pissed. All of them other bitches get to show skin and they got her covered up like she is the mama of the group. Not only that, but they got her ass off in the background like she isn't even really a part of Danity Kane. She's stepping on the opposite foot as everyone else looking like they just threw her ass in the photo as an after thought. She better get on Puff about that so he can correct it before their album debuts.

Summa Daze, Summa Daze!!!

2006-07-31T14:45:00.000-04:00

I have really gotten summer fever, so much so that a sista played hooky from work today to lounge pool side and chill. Unfortunately, I picked the wrong day because it was 100 today. Nobody should be out in this heat but I carried my butt to the pool anyway. Water felt good!!!! Usually it takes me a while to get used to the chill of the water but because it was so hot, I dove right in. I brought my book(Still Sheisty), my hat, my shades, my sunscreen(a Diva's best friend) and my water bottle and a sister was maxin' and relaxin'. Was enjoying the water and my solace until these 4 clowns (I.E. wanna be mack daddies) invaded my space. Why is it that a man will not take "NO" for an answer? These guys continued to get on my nerves. Sitting by me, singing, trying to strike up convos, touching my shit, and doing whatever else they could think of to keep my attention. I finally had to break out the bitch and get rude with them so there would be no mistaking that I wanted to be by my dayum self. I told them that I was there to relax and unwind and judging by the looks of them (there were 4 ) that there was nothing that they could do for me financially, or in the bedroom (had to include the dick since that is there magic answer to everything)so they may as well take their broke down behinds on to the next chick. Yeah, they called me all kinds of bitches to which I politely responded with a "Thank You" while shooing their trifling asses out of my space. Sometimes ladies, ya'll know that we just have to take it there because these men simply refuse to take "NO" for an answer. I really hate to go the rude route as that is not me-- Really it isn't, but some folks just are not satisfied until you bring the "Bish" out!!

STFU!! Will ya?

2006-07-28T20:03:00.000-04:00

FWB is getting on my last damn nerve! Why is this grown ass man whining and bitching in my ear. I do not have time for this bull! Look nukka, you are not my man and I don't owe you a dayum thing! Don't get me wrong now, I do enjoy your company, and I find you sexy as hell and you MOST definitely puts it down when it's time, but did you forget that we decided a while ago that we wouldn't put a label on our "relationship". We both decided that we didn't want or need to answer to anybody and we'd be together when we're together. Why in the hell are you trying to change the game plan, Now? I wanted a one on one relationship but YOU weren't ready so now that I'm in agreement, you want to be exclusive? Ain't that just like a man? Don't call me on my job whining because I ignored you last week when I had company and now I am going out tonight and you still haven't seen me. DO you Bruh!!! DO you!!! We are friends, I AM NOT YOUR WIFE!!! *end rant* Anyway, I am going out for Mojitos and Sushi tonight ( I really hate sushi but decided to give it another try. I had the california roll the last time and I was not a happy camper)and I haven't a clue what to wear, comfy casual, sexy casual,dressy, or jean it up? There's going to be a rather large group of us (guys and gals lol) lemme call up T and see what she is wearing. I don't really want to wear jeans, maybe I'll throw on a cute lil dress. Nothing too tight or too sexy though, don't want to steal anybody's shine haha.

Alternative Lifestyle living folk, Whodathunk?

2006-07-26T18:55:00.000-04:00

Okay, so my company has come and gone and me feeling a little bored last night decided to hit up the gay club scene. Now you know it wasn't my idea, only one person could come up with something so out-of-the box for me and that person is none other than my girl Jazzy. Of course I was like "Hell to the naw" ( Thanks Whit for my new catch phrase) but listening to her bitching and moaning all night would've driven me mad. She said that if I went, I wouldn't regret it because it is so much fun. I gave in and she calls up "Delicious" (yeah I know it's cliche right? Every gay male has to be named Peaches, Delicious or some other outlandish mess) and lets him know that we are on our way and will meet him at the club. Anyway we get there and the club is jumping. Mostly men, as would be expected, but there was a decent amount of females there as well. These men were fine, I tell ya, FIONE!! What a fuckin' waste of a big dick. All that gorgeousness going to waste. Now there were some obvious flamers but there were also a good mix of the thuggish, ruggish bones too. I mean save for the fact that I was in a gay club, I wouldn't have been able to tell that the coochie had no power in their midst( and I am one who always prided herself on her "gaydar".) Anyway, it was rather refreshing to be able to dance, get my drink on and socialize without having to worry about every man who thinks his game is tight trying to get with me. I ended up having a blast. The gay folk really know how to Pawtay and dare I take it a step further and say, you haven't really partied until you've been to a gay club. I mean we danced and sipped and danced some mo'. Delicious is a straight up nut and his clique/crew is even worse. They had me dancing on the bar and what not but I loved every minute of it. I had a few chicks trying to hit on me but I let them know with the quickness that I was all about the dick. This one chick approached me and she was gorgeous and her game wasn't as weak as I expected. Ya'll know, one of them slick mouth sistas. (Yeah, I can appreciate the beauty in a woman but I really don't think that I could ever go that route) but had there been an inkling of curiosity in me though, I would've given ol' girl about an hour or two lol. I really and truly enjoyed myself. I haven't partied like that in a minute and I didn't give a damn about my hair, make-up smudging, sweat or anything. I was just there to have fun, dance, drink, mingle. and release some pent up stress lol. One thing I did notice was that they just do not give a fuck either. No fakeness or pretenses whatsoever. I like that vibe. Anyway after that we stopped at IHOP, (Delicious and crew in tow), got our grub on and then I headed for home. I know my behind did not need to be out partying like it was 2009 when I had to go to work in the morning but hell, I'm young and you only live once, am I right? I exchanged phone numbers with Delicious and although he is Jazzy's friend, we clicked big time. I'mma steal him away from her lol . He's fly, fierce and crooked as hell so you know I'll be having lots of stories to tell. Hey that rhymed. lol

Whew. Busy Busy Me!

2006-07-23T13:22:00.000-04:00

I have been so busy lately. I had relatives in from out-of-town and I have been running and spending like mad. I've been to the casinos just about everyday this week, eating at the buffets and losing my money lol. Well, my last day I did win my money back. I took about 90 dollars and when I got down to my last 20 I won it all back (playing the penny slots) except for $10. At least I came back with something so it's cool. I've been eating out a lot too. I told my guests that we sure have been eating too much and they said not really. Yes, we've been eating out damn near everyday but most of the time, that was the only meal that we would eat so I guess it all balances out. They will be gone tomorrow morning and it's back to the old grind for me. I love having out-of-town guests, It's fun taking them around the city and doing things that I wouldn't normally do but I'd much rather be the one doing the visiting. I will be on my vacay next month and I cannot wait,WhoooHOOO!!!

Who am I you ask?

2006-07-14T09:28:00.000-04:00

I AM:

~~A wearer of strappy heels,figure flattering 'fit and well manicured/pedicured parts
~~Mildly obsessed with intoxicating fragrances, matt lipsticks, juicy tubes, and
exfoliation
~~Open minded, honest, loyal, generous to a fault(but in no way stupid or naive)
~~Down for my peeps, my family, my friends, and my man
~~Viewer of various perspectives, all the while being overtly introspective
~~Ironic, sometimes a walking contradiction.
~~Avoider of controversy, forseer of "drama" Yet in no wise clairvoyant.
~~Trusting,yet suspicious
~~As real as they come
~~Femininity personafied,yet prone to handle my shyt whenever the need may arise
~~a daughter,sister,lady,friend,lover,confidant and such a girl.
~~Your muse as well as your vice ~wink~
~~A cultivator of new ideas, a doer and a thinker.
~~Vain yet modest, vulnerable yet confident.
~~A dream and at times your worst nightmare
~~But always, I AM:

A WOMAN!!!!

Bey Bey Bey. Hated it!

2006-07-14T09:09:00.000-04:00

So, the much talked about video from tam Bey-Z finally debuted Wednesday. Yes, that's right folks, the video for Deja Vu is here! I can say that I wasn't really feeling it too much. First of all, the majority of the outfits, were monstrosities. Pin-stripes, big peasant blouses, come on now? We understand that you need to advertise for House of Dereon but you and I both know that most of the designer wear they sell is nothing more than over-priced garbage. The jeans are cool and a few of the tops but I'm going to really need Ms. Tina to get some designer inspiration STAT! Secondly, The locations were cool. Loved the swamp/Bayou feel and of course, Jay-z is always good, but Bey on the other hand, dancing and shaking like she was having a canniption could've done much better. Who told her she could dance? I mean really? Her spastic movements along with shaking and shimmying does not a dancer make? A megastar like her should've been in dance classes ASAP. Aayway, if You haven't already, you can check it out on MTV'S Overdrive.

I've been a bad, bad, girl but fuck it. ladies is pimps too go on and brush yo shoulder off.

2006-07-13T17:59:00.000-04:00

I really don't know what in the heck has come over me. AN ex,not THE ex called me out of the blue and wanted to see if I wanted to go to the show (movies) with him. I didn't have any other plans and I knew that a movie always included dinner afterwards so I said why not? I get off work and throw on some jeans and a halter and my pumps and wait for dude. He shows up and I open the door and let me tell ya'll this man was looking fine as hayel!!! One look at him and my legs started getting weak and my pussy wet. All of a sudden I didn't feel like going out anymore I just wanted to stay in and feel this man inside me,10 toes in the air and legs wrapped around his back. I tell him that I really didn't feel like going out after all and suggested we rent a movie and watch it at my spot. A nugga is always down for some action so of course he was with it. We go get some movies, I got Love Jones. He never saw it before (and with any luck he would be missing it again) and he got some kind of scary shit. While we're there, I suggest stopping to get some take-out and he says no, he wants to cook( this man can throw down in the kitchen too) so we head to the grocery store and he picks up the ingredients he needs to whip up some chicken marsala. Ok ya'll that meal was slammin'. Along with the chicken marsala, we had pasta,asparagus an a cheese cake for dessert. After that we hit the couch and I put in the movie. We're laying back chillin' sippin on some JD twisted and I lay my head in his lap. He starts stroking my hair then rubbin' on my chests and then I reach up and pull him down to me (by his neck) and we start kissing. Next thing I know, clothes come off and I am bouncing on that dick riding the hell out of it like that damn dick was going to disappear in 2 and 2. Damn that was some good shit too. Afterwards it was kind of awkward because deep down I wanted to tell him to get the fuck up and go home but I allowed him to spend the obligatory night. It was good at the time but that is so not me. Why did he have to show up looking and smellin all good and shit? Anyway that's my little "Ho" moment. Just thought I'd share.

2006-07-01T16:23:00.000-04:00

The ex has been blowing up my spot bigtime. I can't really say that we ever really kept in contact consistently but lately he's been calling a lot. The first call was unexpectedly out of the blue. He was thinking about me( so he says) and wanted to see what I was up to. Okay, that's cool. We had a nice convo, reminisced, talked about our relationship, He thanked me and told me how much I meant to him back then and blase' blah. He says he would like to see me(mind you ...not to try to get with me but just to see an "old friend".) Says I can stay with him or he can come and see me. I said I don't know about that. He tried to feign being hurt that I wouldn't want to see him again,which isn't exactlyw hat I said. I just said that I didn't know about that. But anyway, I have talked to him about 3 or 4 times in the past two weeks which is really saying a lot. I wonder what is up with him? He told me he doesn't have a girlfriend when he first called, preferring to refer to her only as "my baby mama" which in laymens terms translates to yes, she had my child, yes we are still fucking even though I don't claim her as my woman to other females.I really don't mind him calling although I don't think that I would ever get back together with him. That's a part of my life that is best left in the past. We can be friends all day every day but as for anything more, I don't think so (but I've learned to never say never.)

Must haves for sexy, single divas

2006-06-13T10:14:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I'm supposed to be working but so what. I came in extra early today so I deserve this little bit of time to play around online and unwind, nahimean? Anyway, I've been shopping up a storm lately. Yes, I'm a budget fashionista, diva on a budget , champagne taste on a beer budget or what have you. I'm thrifty and I'm not ashamed to say it. I'm always on the lookout for a good deal or bargain so if any of you can help a chick out Holla!!! Hell, why pay full price when I can find it cheaper on sale. I've been trying to get my summer wardrobe together, get all the pieces I need to ensure that I will have a fabulous summer but while I was doing that, I started thinking of other things so here it is:

My top 10 things every single girl must have aside from the perfect shade of mac lipstick and the fuck me dress and shoes.

1. A fabulous photo of yourself We all have that photo: The one where your smile looks great , hair is on point , and your body is bangin'. You are the total package and you know that if you just walked down the street looking like that you would have all of the men drooling for days. Maybe it was a surprise shot taken by a friend or you got the flic taken at glamour shots, who the hell cares as long as you know you look good in it. Post that sucker at eye level on your fridge, in your wallet, on the dashboard or mirror of your car, hell get a 20 by 30 framed portrait made and hang that bytch up in the foyer or above your bed. You want every man, woman and child that comes in contact to know that you look damn good! You may also need to take a gander at it when your confidence may be low due to a bad hair day or whatever. You are fabulous and you should always know it or at least be able to see it!
2. A slammin' pair of heels Admit it. you feel absolutely fabulous when you slip on a pair of nice heels. Struttin' and switching down the street feeling sexy as hell. I mean can't nobody tell you a damn thang. I know you know what I mean. The good news is that these days, you can transform virtually any outfit into night on the town ready by adding a nice pair of heels. Doesn't matter if you are sportin' jeans, skirt, shorts (yes, jeans and shorts are totally acceptable as an outfit especially on the club scene) gauchos, whatever... doesn't matter!! Put some heels on with that baby and you are ret' ta go. No, they don't have to be 4 or 5- inch stilettos, even a pair of 1-inch kitten heels will make you stride a little more confidently and don't mind the fact that you may not be able to walk in them. As long as you look good in them. You can just post up at the bar or at a table somewhere, legs crossed and work it mamis. (For the times when your dogs really get to barking in the heels) Always have a pair of comfortable shoes on hand or go barefoot if you must. Just make sure that when you are around the men you put the heels on and style, floss, and profile like crazy.
3. At least 4 good Cd's Hiphop, Mood music( you know the good baby making get your freak on type shyt),Jazz,and an off the wall type that usually doesn't fit your taste,you know, to show that eclectic side. What's one of the first places a guy peruses when he walks into a woman's home? Her music collection. Good for you if you have an extensive one, but if you are stuck in the 80's or 90's and your most up-to-date CD just happens to be by Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, you might have some "splaining" to do. Update your collection pronto mamis. Preferably with a CD from each musical genre because one night you may be keeping company with a youngin' and the next day you may want to have his daddy over. You need to be able to accomodate all musical taste. Doesn't matter how young or old you are.. DO IT! You have no idea how relieved he'll be. It shows you have an open mind and are open to all types of music. Plus it wouldn't hurt to throw a raunchy hip hop Cd in the mix. You know the type with a lot of Fuck you's, bitches and hoe's. Doesn't matter if it doesn't get any play in your CD player but it does show that you aren't easily offended—and that's music to any man's ears.
4. A great pickup line... and a way to blow 'em off In this post-chivalrous period Ya'll know that we can't always depend on guys to initiate contact. The days are over when we see a fine looking man and let him slip through our fingers because he never got up the nerve to approach. If you aren't quite ballsy enough just yet to take matters into your own hands that's fine. You'll get there eventually, but in the mean time, down a few drinks and man up chica. In any event, prepare thyself with one simple, non-corny icebreaker to lay on that cutie who's making his way over to your area of the bar. My favorite: "Hi. Having fun?" Depending how blatant and forward you are ,you can also use, "Hetero, homo, DL or metro?"(yeah it's extremely forward but let's cut to the chase shall we, why waste time entertaining a man who may be more interested in the brotha standing behind you) For those moments when the guy initiates contact and you're just not that into him, better have a back-up plan to get rid of the buster and please ladies, come with something better than "Ummmm, no". "Sorry, I don't think my man would like or appreciate it." is always a good , polite let down ( Yeah, it may or may not be a lie but at least it'll let him save face in front of his boys as well as allow him to keep his astronomical ego in tact. It'll also keep you from becoming all kinds of bitches, lesbians, and hoes) but sometimes a chick needs to get ignorant for the men that just don't give a damn about you having a man. I'm sure you know the "what your man got to do with me?" " Ah fuck that nigga", "Where that nigga at then" type of man. For that type of persistent, refuse to take no for an answer guy you must and I'd like to reiterate, YOU MUST have something for his ass. I won't give you any lines as they can run the gamut. Crack on his outfit, his looks, teeth, jewelry, hair. breath, lack of funds, job, anything you can do to clown him and get him to move the hell on is fair game.
5. A six-pack of beer and a few bottles of champagne. A prepared single girl is always ready to host and toast at any time. Keep the brew on tap so you can have something to offer your man if and when you decide that he is worthy enough to visit your humble abode. Champagne or any liquor will do for the times you have little get togethers or just want to chill. Always have one unbelieveable, outrageously priced bottle of something. (this is for show only, just to let them know you have good expensive taste) Under no circumstances are any of your guests ever to crack open that bottle. In other words, They touch it, They die! If you are more thrifty and don't want to spend the money on a expensive bottle,visit a snazzy restaurant or bar and request the empty bottle. (Don't be ashamed girl) You can then fill it up with colored water and perpetrate to your hearts content! They'll never know, But if you are a true diva with your game intact, getting a real bottle of expensive bubbly should be no problem.
6. Bathroom reading What man doesn't appreciate finding interesting reading in his woman's bathroom? So instead of tossing out your magazines when you're done reading them, toss them into a basket by the toilet. No need to go overboard with a stack of Sports Illustrated especially if you don't follow sports,( that could get you into trouble when he starts asking you about players and their stats and you are left dazed and stuttering), but consider Newsweek, Cosmo,(hey, this may be the only time he's a captive audience and can learn a few things) or even a King or Stuff magazine (yeah let him know that you aren't threatened by beautiful women and you can even include your Fabulous photo from Number 1 in the mix). Or, just buy a book that's made for the bathroom, like Ever Wonder Why,Isaac Asimov's Book Of Facts,The Great American Bathroom Book or whatever floats your boat so that he can learn a few things while he passes the, uh, time.
7. A business card After the age of 21, it is no longer cute to scrawl your first name and phone number on a napkin and hand it to a man who wants to call you. Doesn't matter if you have no job (or business for that matter)or your job doesn't provide you with a business card. Maybe you would just prefer one with your personal email address and cell phone number on it, then have some made at your local Kinko's. If you are very thrifty or a budget diva/fashionista like myself, you can even get 250 full-color business cards for free from vistaprint.com if you don't mind the company's logo on the backside of the card. Hey, it's better than nothing and lets not forget the operative word here ladies. It's FREE!!!!!. A napkin he can lose, blow his nose on, wipe his ass,wipe his sweat away or any number of things, but a business card, he'll file and keep.
8. A straight male friend on your speed-dial for advice and another one for those inevitable booty calls, bustdowns or nights when you just need a lil' sumpin' sumpin' without the lip and commitments. No ties, no strings right? Every girl knows she needs a gay male friend she can go to for fashion advice , hair and makeup tips and one that will not lie when you ask "Does my ass look fat or Phat in these jeans?" (a personal Queer Eye of your own). But when it comes to relationship advice, you need another source. While your female friends may have good intentions (we all know that sometimes they may be on some jealousy, hatin' ass shit), if you really want to know if you should call that guy, let him hit it on the first night, introduce him to your kids, let him crash on the couch, pull some rug, or hit the sheets 3, 4 night in a row, save the guesswork and go to someone who's been there, done that. No one knows the mind of a man save for another man. He'll be honest and let you know what's really up!
9 and 10. (Yes, this counts as 2)A condom ( a few condoms) Preferably Magnums if applicable~wink~, Hey ladies, you know the drill by now. If you want to be able to have spontaneous fun of the bodily kind, you have to prepare for it yourself. You can't always count on him to have something in his back pocket, wallet,—or a 24-hour drugstore in route on the way home. Yeah, I know I stated preferably Magnums ( men always exaggerate their size and their ego may demand they use magnums even when it isn't necessary)but the truth is everyone is not packin' like that... so if you don't want you man looking like he is swimming in a 5 sizes too big windbreaker, it would behoove you to have a variety of sizes and flavors on hand. (Your new mantra: If you don't want it to break, (have holes poked in it, be outdated), you buy it.
And That concludes my Top 10 list of things every woman should have

Relax, Relate, Release.....AHHHHH!!

2006-06-11T22:17:00.000-04:00

Today was such a relaxing day for me.

The jazz spot last night turned out to be surprisingly nice. Yeah, there were mostly oldheads there but I was really diggin' the atmosphere and it felt nice to take a break from the 20-something knunkle heads that I'm used to encountering. I didn't really feel like driving home so I just crashed at Miko's. After I left Miko's I met up with Ronnie at the spa for a day of pampering. Man I really needed to be rubbed down. By the way it was heavenly. Ronnie and I had a mud soak and then the massage of a life time. It was glorious, although my masseur wasn't the big , bald, fine man that I had hoped for. Nothing better than to be rubbed down by a pair of strong hands attatched to a muscular, bangin' body and a handsome face. Unfortunately, my fantasy was ruined by a lady named Marisol. She was good, I'll give her that. That woman hit some muscles that I had forgotten I even had, but It would've been nice to have someone to flirt with. After that, Ronnie had a Brazillian. She has been trying to get me to have one done for the longest time. She says that men love it and once I have it done I will never imagine going back to anything else. I really want to give it a try but I have a real aversion to pain without any pleasure involved. I just can't see myself butt ass naked, spread eagle on a table while some woman is ripping the hair from my twat and my azz. I mean they get in all of the nook and crannies too and if that isn't bad enough, after they finish plucking you like a chicken, they then slap some powder on you like you are ready to be fried. I'm just not ready to put myself out there like that so I passed and let Ronnie do her thang. Now I must admit, it does look good (Ronnie was nice enough to show me the finished product)) they even do designs if you want them. Ronnie has a little landing strip with a heart and she says the pain is about a 5 on a scale of 1-10. Yeah right!! A five for her because she has been getting them forever. She is used to the pain. I wonder if guys really prefer a bald pussy? (Ronnie swears they do but I haven't had any complaints) Does less hair make it better when going down on a chick? I'll have to ask someone and see what they say. Anyway, after finishing up with our mani's and pedi's we part ways and I head home to relax some more.
I have been reading this book, Sexual Healing, for about 2 months now. Everytime I read it I get horny as hell. It's about these two women who decide to make a brothel for women. They are in vegas and they have man whores to service female clients. Of course they have to test out the new hires and boy do they go into detail. I get wet everytime I read a line. Too bad my FWB(friend with benefits) is out of town. I don't own a vibrator either which is another thing that I need to add to my list of things to buy. Hey, guys aren't the only ones that need to get their freak on every now and then, us girls get horny too. I'm really feeling it right now and am so tempted to work myself out but I'll settle for a homemade non- alcoholic apple martini and a cold shower instead. It would just take me too long to get there alone, without a little electric help. Too bad too because my "friend" will be here next week so when FWB returns he won't be able to have a proper welcome home. Boo Hoo!! The joys and monthly pains of being a woman. I'm off, since I have to get up early for work tomorrow. Nighty Night!

I ain't ret' ta go, I'm ready for him to hit this.

2006-06-10T21:55:00.000-04:00

Miko is dragging me out to this little Jazz spot tonight and I really really don't feel like going. I must be growing up because once or twice a week is more than enough for me to be out and about. There was a time when I would live at the clubs,I'm talking Tuesday through Sunday but now I'm kind of tiring of the club scene. I went out last night and almost got into some trouble, Thank God my girls were there looking out!!! When I got home from work I started reading this damn book..urban fiction, ghetto love stories and the sex scenes in that mug were Hot!! Anyway they got me a little worked up so I was horny as hell already and couple that with the liquor I was sippin' on all night and you have one potential "ho" in the making. Guess I was on a mission to get some dick and it just so happened to be attatched to this fine specimen of a man. I mean that brotha was BEAUTIFUL, no other way to describe him. But anyway, we lock eyes and kind of stare each other down and then I guess he works up the nerve to come talk to me. We vibin' real well for the majority of the night and my damn panties are getting wet just looking at him. We dance and he's getting his little feel on and the way that I am feeling , sheeeittt I welcome it. We dance and chat and then he goes to the bar and comes back with a drink for me. I thank him but I'm thinking ain't no way in hell I'm drinking that shit. Now I may be a little buzzed but I'm not stupid and if I don't see you make it or I didn't open it myself I'm not drinking it. You can't do that shit now-a-days with nukkas slippin' shit in your drink on the sly. But anyway, it's getting close to last call and by that time, I'm really feeling it. I'm really wanting to fuck now. Yeah we kissed a bit and felt each other up and then when I'm ready to roll out with dude here come my girls dragging my ass back to the truck. Thank God they were in their right frame of mind becasue ya girl was ready to ride some serious dick. Dude handled the situation okay too. He called me this afternoon and wants to meet me for lunch tomorrow. I told him tomorrow is my spa day but since we both work downtown we could meet for lunch Monday. He's a real cool dude so I'm really looking forward to our lunch date. shoot, it's almost 10 and if Miko don't get here within the hour, I'm calling it a night. I don't really feel like going out anyway.

Yeah yeah I know I know MIA but I am back!

2006-04-07T21:00:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know that I have been gone for a minute but I am back. You know sometimes life just gets in the way of things and leaves absolutely no time for anything else, which has been the case with me. I have been tuning into the news and I keep hearing things about Myspace. Of course I have a Page, will I post a link here? UUUmmm NO!!!! but anyway I came across this page titled mydeathspace. It is a list of people who died who also had Myspace pages and I came across this fascinating story of these 3 friends who got into an arguement over a jacket and one ended up going over to the home of the other 2 and ended up killing them both plus a girl who was over their visiting. (I'll post the link but I have to look it up first) That story was just incredible to me. I found myself engrossed in checking out all of their pages, reading their comments, looking at their pictures and I still find it unbelievable. The dude that did the killing referred to himself as Lucifer and even had 666 tattooed on his chest. He is a brotha at that? I simply cannot believe the lengths that some people will go for attention, to try to play hard, or what have you. This man showed no remorse or any signs of having a conscience at all. He even bragged about the female pleading for her life before he shot her and then robbed the home of a safe that had 3,500 and a kilo of coke in it? Is this what life has come down to? So invaluable that the thought of taking it carries as much weight as picking out an out fit or deciding on a hair do? I am appalled at young people these days. Although at 24, he isn't really that young..but the whole saga has made me somewhat depressed. He enlisted the help of a cousin, the cousin's girlfriend and another friend and now they are all in police custody charged with varying degrees of murder. Hows that for a bright and prosperous future? The prosecuting attorneys haven't yet decided as to whether or not they will seek the death penalty but if they choose to do so, what a waste!!! I wonder if they are thinking about their actions? Was it really worth it to them? $3,500 and a kilo of coke which they had the opportunity to enjoy all of say what....1 day..or their lives? I wonder which one they would choose now had they been givien the opportunity. I can't help but feel for the parents of the murderers as well as the victims. I just don't know. The one guy that was murdered was only 18 years old and he was shot in the back of the head as he sat at the computer. What a coward that murderer is!!! Well I need to stop dwelling on this subject as it is making me more and more depressed. Just had to vent my frustrations and thoughts on the subject somewhere.

I tried, I really did, but I just can't help myself!!!

2005-09-08T18:35:00.000-04:00

Okay, I told myself that I wasn't going to watch, listen to, read, anymore news coverage on the Katrina victims but I can't help myself. I am absolutely mesmerized by the goings on in LA.It really is hard to avoid because it is everywhere. I just wish that I could do something more than donate money and necessities. I would love to be able to take in a family because I can only imagine how they must feel having lost everything. I just heard that they found 30 dead bodies in a nursing home. Apparently the employees at the home decided to flee the hurricane (don't know whether or not they left New Orleans altogether or just left the nursing home) without making some type of provisions for the residents of the home. I mean how thoughtless and selfish is that? How could you save yourself and leave 30 other elderly people to die. I mean damn!!!. Why couldn't the employees( or whomever was in charge) figure out some kind of way to get those patients out of there, at least get them to the SuperDome or The Convention Center. Those residents were someone's mother, father, sister, brother, grandparent..I mean Damn. I could never do something like that. Even if I was only able to transport 1 person, I would've done SOMETHING!!! Even the animals were treated better than those people. At least the animal owners had the good sense to drop them off at a hospital in which the doctor there refused to leave until he could get all of the animals to safety (which he did.) Aren't we, as humans, more important than a dog or cat? With some of the stories that I've been hearing, I really can't tell!

I'm in the MONEY!!! YEAAAAYAAAHHHHH!!!

2005-09-08T15:14:00.000-04:00

I have been in such a funk about what has been going on with the hurricane victims that I haven't been updating much. One of my grandmother's sister's friends is missing. She lives in Slidel. (well I don't know if she is missing but I haven't been able to reach her by cellphone) I'm praying that she and her family are okay. I still can't believe how tragic that is. Then you have stupid azz Barbara Bush talking about "well the victims living in the arenas were underprivileged anyway, so this (living in another arena in Texas) is working out well for them" I mean what kind of shyt is that? basically she is saying, fuck'em, they didn't have shyt before the hurricane so they should be thankful that they have that arena in Texas to live. She is ignorant as hell, I'm sensing that there could be some truth to Kanye's statement.. and that's from mama Bush on down!! :::END RANT:::: Anyway, First thing I did when I got to work was check my account.(remember I posted about getting paid to surf?) well I have been grinning and cheesing and doing my happy dance around the office all day so far. . My ass actually got paid 2 g's. Thats right ya'll I got me some Christmas money (if I dont spend it all before then) Don't hate now!! I posted about this before so Ya'll had your chance. Anyway, the only problem is that it is in gold so I have to find a good money exchange to get it changed into US dollars. I know that it will cost me but I don't know anything about the going rate of gold or fees. I need to look into that. I got my co-worker to join too. She wasn't trying to hear what I was saying(even though her behind is broke as hell) until I showed her my e-gold account. (yeah I switched from Stormpay because they charged me 6.9% =69 cents to receive payments..too much interest for my taste even though I loved the fact that they dealt in dollars and not gold) I also showed her the website that I used when I did research. If you're interested here it is. Start Making Money Today I thought it gave a pretty good explanation.

Time	Type	e-metal	Weight (troy oz.)	Entered Amount
9/2/2005 16:24	Payment Received From: MyLifeClicks Memo: 12daily Pro Cashout	gold	+5.085083	2,160.00 USD

Take a look up there and see all my money...Yeah Boy!!!

On a new note. My girl has a little boy and sometimes I go with her when she picks him up from school. A few times, I saw this chatty chick whose daughter goes to the same school. My girl is cool with her so everytime she is there when we are, she stops and chats (and this chick is severely long winded.) She's this Bohemian, Erykah Badu type chick who looks really nice. Since she has a daughter I never though much about her comments to me. One time she was telling me how good I look and how "I have it going on" and blah blah blah. I just said "thanks" and that was it. She would say things like this everytime I saw her but the day before yesterday, I went with my girl to the school and she was there. She kept talking about how pretty my toes were and how she loved my toes and they are so cute. She was like " I'm going to call your pretty toes" from now on. I was walking around looking like the Rock (one eyebrow up thang) because I don't know about her. I don't want to think that she likes me like that but I'm going to be on guard around her. Yeah, she could just be overly nice but I mean who goes around jockin' someone's toes? Anyway. Let me get to lunch.

Can someone tell me what is really going on.

2005-08-16T07:23:00.000-04:00

Bitches are a real trip I tell ya. I have this one co-worker who is begging me to whoop her ass. I just don't get it. Now I never really paid too much attention to her but I did begin to notice how she would talk to people, I mean, it just didn't sit right with me. I was taught that you treat people the way you want to be treated. Likewise, you talk to people in a respectful matter. She would talk to people like they weren't shyt and no one would ever say anything back to her.I couldn't understand it but I was like, oh well, as long as she doesn't try to come at me sideways. That shyt didn't last for long though, One day I was having a conversation with another co-worker. He offered to take care of something for me because I was pressed for time and this bitch takes it upon herself to get all up in the middle of our shyt. She had the nerve to say you can do it yourself. I'm looking around because I just know that she isn't talking to me, then I ask her "Who are you talking to?" and she says "You" that was all I needed to go off on her. All she could do was start speaking spanish with her friends and laugh. Little did she know that I can understand some Spanish so her trying to be slick ass wasn't fooling anyone. After that, I really didn't have any more problems out of her. I'm not one to hold grudges so I put that shyt behind me. I didn't harbor any ill feelings towards her but she tried her best to stay out of my way. A few weeks ago, (it has been at least a year since our last altercation)I'm in the office with 2 coworkers and again she says something smart, I just know that she doesn't have the audacity to be talking shyt again so I don't respond . I know she could't have possibly been talking to me. I step out of the room, leaving her with the two-co-workers that I'm cool with and upon re-entering I hear her saying "I don't see how ya'll can stand to work with MiMi". My one co-worker looks up at me and then looks at her and she has this dumb ass "oh shyt! I just got busted" look on her face" so I politely ask her " What did you say about me?" She then wants to play the nut role and says "huh? what?" and I repeat my question and then she says I said I don't like you? I said look here Bitch. Do I look like I give a fuck? You don't do shyt for me and besides the feelings are mutual. I tell her that I hate a bytch that has to talk shyt behind someone's back and just insists on fucking with me and bringing out the bytch in me when I am trying to do my job. I just go on and on until she says okay, just drop it then. lol@ drop it when the bitch started it. Then she tries to get salty because I cursed at her. lol Awwww,l I must've hurt the poor wittle baby's feelings. Then she tells me to Shut the fuck up. Hypocritical bytch, lol. I get all up in her face and say "How about you shut me the fuck up" she backs up and says "You know what you aren't even worth it. " lol I say "Somehow I knew you would say that, just like I thought, a bytch with all mouth who can't back that shyt up. I continued to taunt her a bit before she finally ended up leaving. I gave her some parting advice as well. I said "For future references, the next time you get the urge to try to talk shyt about someone, at least make sure that they aren't around to hear you." lol She really got mad after that one. Boy I wished she would've been bold enough to do something because then I would've had the excuse that I needed to beat her ass. I was already stressed too--- Now I'm not trying to lose my job over a bytch's pettiness but I would've laid the smack down on her azz. I haven't had any problems out of her since. She goes out of her way to avoid me now and that is exactly how I like it. I do mess with her from time to time and say "Hello maria (yeah that chick doesn't deserve a capital "m") How are you today?" Most times, she just leave, .but why start shyt and then try to get mad when someone calls your bluff? I think she never expected me to say anything to her because I'm so pleasant and usually mind my own business, I do my jwork and go home. I'm not all caught up in the office shyt. I have about 2 people that I really talk to and they are older ladies, I'm talking 60 ish. Anyway, that is my rant for the day.

Joke of the day!!

2005-07-29T17:44:00.000-04:00

I'm going out but before I get ready I thought I'll leave you all with a little jokey joke.

For those whose vision is not sharp enough to read the small writing.

Joke:

Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other?

A: If we don't get some support soon people will think we are nuts!!

Surfing the net and get paid too? Nahh can't be legit!

2005-07-27T23:29:00.000-04:00

Okay. Lately I have been doing a lot of research about how to make money online. Preferably without having to put in an initial investment. Hey since I spend so much time surfing the net(at work and home) I may as well make some money right? But anyway, I came across this paid autosurfing site. The down side is that you do have to invest or upgrade your account in order to earn money but the good thing is that the initial investment can be as little as $6.00. I did thorough research because I am not the one that likes to throw money away. I checked to make sure that people actually were getting paid and I made an initial investment of $6.00 just to see if it worked. IT DID!! I received a payment of $8.64. Not a huge profit but a profit none the less considering my inital investment of $6.00. I invested a little more each time and have found this to be one of the best programs out there. Basically a win -win situation unless the company goes belly up whichI don't see happening any time soon. But anyway, about the program, It basically pays you to surf the websites of others. When you check out the site,Please read the FAQ. In a nutshell, autosurfing is advertising, people will pay to have you view their websites with a chance that you are going to buy something ( sort of like TV commercials for example.) 12 Pro is an autosurf, people are paying you to advertise....you, in turn, earn 12% of whatever money you put in to view. So if you upgrade $100, you earn 12% of that everyday ($12), after 12 days your upgrade expires and you have earned $144 (which is $44 pure profit) the more you put in the more you make. Its like playing the stock market. Its a risky business, but many pitfalls can be avoided with research and experience. The rewards are HUGE!! I think this program is so successful because when your upgrade expires in 12 days. You automatically receive a payment. You are not allowed to compound your money therefore you have less of a chance of the company folding due to their inability to pay. If you decide to try it out, let me know how it is working for you. One thing I must stress though, is please read the entire site and especially the FAQ. If there is somthing that you don't understand contact them and ask your question and do your own research if you are still skeptical. Informed participation is always the best way to go. Oh yeah,If you are interested in checking it out for yourself, the link to the site can be found in my links section.

2005-07-21T18:30:00.000-04:00

I know ya'll have heard Kanye's song, the one with the hook that goes."I ain't sayin' she's a gold digga, but she ain't fuckin' with a broke nigga. Well, that has officially become my motto for the summer, possibly for life! That's right, no more broke niggas for me. Potential or not, doesn't matter! I've always been the type of woman that does for self. I've always had my own shyt and I always keep money. I work for mine and I expect any dude that I'm with to do the same. Now I didn't always feel this way. I used to date broke niggas.(I'm talking lay up on the couch, drinking, eating, playing video games, waiting for a job to come knocking on the door broke niggas) Didn't matter to me because I wasn't getting with them for the money, cars, clothes, and they weren't laying up on my couch so----- Since I've always had my own, I could provide for myself so their financial status wasn't a big deal to me. Since I've become a little older, broke will definitely not do it for me. No, I'm not trading in my independence for gold digger status, but I just want a man to have his own and stop trying to leech off of me. I may have my own but I'm not one of those chicks that just throws money or gifts at a dude to try to keep him. No way!!!!! I am not the one for that shyt. I am not trying to play mama to anyone that didn't come out of my uterus. I was dating this dude once, we dated for some years, he was military and his ass stayed broke. I know they don't make much especially being a petty officer but damn the brotha didn't have any expenses,(yeah he had a kid but his mom helped him out with him because the wifey wasn't shyt. Hell I even watched him from time to time) free housing, shoot, what more could a nigga want? But anyway I'm sitting at my girfriend's place chillin' and he calls and asks me if I want to go to KFC. I wasn't really hungry but I said yeah. He comes over and picks me up(he has his son in the car with him) so we get there and he is ordering all of this shyt, got the nerve to say to me "Baby, what you want, extra crispy or original?" I wasn't really hungry but the combination of everything he ordered and the smelling of that chicken, got my mouth to watering. So anyway our order comes to about $20 and some change. The chick bagged up the food and she's just waiting for the money and do you know this nigga had the nerve to say "Baby, pay the lady" I looked at his ass like he was crazy and proceded to switch my ass on out of there. He was like, "you not going to pay her" I just acted like I didn't hear him and took my seat in the car. He gave me the silent treatment on the way home then promptly dropped my ass off lol.I know if he could have he would've just slowed the car down and made my ass jump out!! He was that heated. I didn't care though.. I do not play that shit, don't try to pull no fast one on me. He knew he was broke when he called me up and asked me if I wanted to go. Right then should've been the time to ask me if I would mind paying. Like I said before, paying for the food, wasn't the issue because I try to keep money, it was the principle of the thing. Now I would've bought the baby something had I been certain that he wouldn't have been digging in the shyt too. I still can't believe he pulled that shyt. After he dropped me off, I hopped in my ride and went back and got ME some chicken lol. I know some of you are probably thinking that I was wrong for that but who cares. lol Nah, I'm the type of female that doesn't mind doing for someone but of my own accord, don't try to force me, scam me, play, me into doing shyt. Won't work. Anyway he gave me the silent treatment for 3 days then told me that he was really broke and it really hurt his feelings that I wouldn't feed him and his seed. With me, you have to be straight up about things, I'm straight and up-front and I'd like you to be the same. If you need money, ASK, if you need a bill paid, ASK, if you need some sneakers and outfit to go clubbin just ASK. 99.9% of the time the answer will be HELL NO!!( I told ya'll I wasn't the one to be throwin' dollars at a dude) ..but the point is that you kept it real and asked for what you want and/or need. That's what it is about these days, REALNESS people!! Don't forget it. A lady can have nothing but respect for a dude that keeps it real with her.

2005-07-11T20:20:00.000-04:00

I am trippin' off of the unbelievable happenings on message boards. I have joined several, from hair care, to body building, to cooking, to chatting with like minded folks. Anyway, while I was supposed to be working I was browing the web and decided to check out this site that I joined. It's not a dating site, or sex site but a place where like minded folks can log on and engage in stimulating conversations ranging from war issues, to politics and religion. It's a more mature crowd so the "Yo Ma's", "Hey shawty's," big dick braggarts and supposed coochie eating connessieurs are few and far between. One of the requirements upon joining is that you must have a photo. It's supposed to cut down on the drama and bullshyt and take the anonymity out of the board. I browsed for a while( I mean a long while) before deciding to add mine and then the instant messages come. I love compliments so I welcomed them. Some I responded to, some I didn't but this one just blew me away. I receive a message from a chick saying that she and her hubby were looking at my photo and they both liked what they saw. They found me very attractive. She also said that her hubby's pic was in the profile and she wanted to know what I thought about him. I checked him out and didn't find him the least bit attractive. As a matter of fact, he was rather dull looking, just your average joe-- so to speak. Being the nice person that I am, (99.25 % of the time) I told her he was nice looking. I then proceded to have a little fun and told her that unless she planned on lending him out to me for a night, that I couldn't help her out because I don't do couples AT ALL. ( I figured she was interested in a menage-a-toi which I can't quite fathom myself becoming involved in unless it was me and two dudes and even then, it would be a big IF!!!) I couldn't figure out why she was messaging me on a sexual basis anyway and figured that that would get rid of her.I know most bitches are stingy when it comes to their men anyway. Do you know she messaged me back saying that she wasn't looking for herself but for her hubby. His birthday was coming up and she wanted to surprise him with Moi!!!.. That bitch called my bluff...lol. I don't know what gave her the idea that I would be down with that type of shyt but I had to let her know in no uncertain terms that she was definitely barking up the wrong damn tree. She then says "don't get me wrong girlfriend it wouldn't be an on going thing and a one night only thing I have no problem with." Is this bitch for real? Doesn't she know that she had better have a problem with it because I have been known to turn a man or two out. If I were to indulge her her fantasy and get with her hubby she may as well hand him on over because he wouldn't want her azz after that. I'm really doing her a favor by letting her keep her man. Yeah,yeah I know I'm such a kind hearted-softie. Bitch doesn't know how lucky she is that her man isn't my type. I can't believe that people actually hook up like that online. I mean she must be used to doing that type of thing to even consider messaging me. I've had my internet fling but it wasn't a I want to fuck you meet me at so in so in an hour and bring lots of condoms type thing. I chatted with my fling for a year or more, by phone and comp and when we finally met, I wasn't solo and neither was he. What gives? Is this the new thing?

Umm I'd hit it!!!!...Ode to Superhead

2005-07-11T16:05:00.000-04:00

This is for the guy who so eloquently claimed that he wouldn't fuck Ms. Superhead with Mike Vick's dick. I suspect he is just talking but just for you sir, I have found some guys that beg to differ. They would love to be in the presence of a notorious dick sucker and one of them actually had relations with her not once, but two times. Notice the big toothy grin. Boy, MS. Head must've really put the thang down and made a real believer out of him. Notice the ll' homie even put in his bid for a chance at Karrine.

Rumpshaka contest. strictly for the fellas and you ladies that get down like that.

2005-07-09T10:39:00.000-04:00

I know my niggas love asses so this is for ya'll. Cast your vote in the first annual rumpshaker contest. Put your money on one of these lovely ladies. Winner will be announced on a date TBA shortly.

Who got that phat ass and know how to twerk it?

Contestant number 1 (Meth and Red's favorite)

Contestant number 2 (Craig and Smokey's favorite)

Contestant number 3 (make that azz bounce girl dizammmm!)

Contestant number 4 (my fav because she knows how to make that azz clap)

Cast your votes in the comment section.

*****Edited to add a disclaimer***** I, MS Mimi, in no way shape or form condone this type of behavior or content nor did I have anything to do with this post except to edit in my comments. This is all my boy Carlos' doing? Silly butt. We hung out last night and after having a little too much to drink, I was tired as hell and my head was throbbing so I crashed. While I was sleeping he decided to use my comp and get all up in my business. We cool like that so I don't mind, but this mess? Come on now los? What is up with dudes being blinded by the booty? Is that all ya'll think about. All hell would break lose if I decided to have a biggest penis contest. Am I right ladies?

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's..........SUPERHEAD!!!!

2005-07-08T19:37:00.000-04:00

Now I'm sure by now everyone has heard of the infamous Karrine "Superhead" Steffens. The chick who is known far and wide for being able to suck a dick so good that it warrants it's own copyrighted moniker. Now I had the opportunity to see Ms. Superhead in action with none other than Mr. Marcus (whew fannin' myself) and all I have to say is that her name is well-deserved. The chick even had me about to get pen and paper to take some notes so I can add a few of her tricks to my head game repertoire. Her oral expertise has managed to keep her in the news these past few weeks due to her tell-all (and I do mean tell all) book entitled "Confessions of a Video Vixen." Ms. Steffans is currently hitting up the airwaves as well as bookstore trying to promote her scandalous novel that names some of HipHop's finest as having sampled her prowess. At first, I was thinking that she was just some groupie slut that got played but then I started thinking about how men do what she does all day everyday and get nothing but props, and admiration. Now we women must stick together, especially the sistas, so while her choices may not have been ones thatI would've made myself and while I may not agree with the sucking your way to notoriety, I can't knock a sista's hustle. That's her life and how she chose to live it and it is quite alright with me.(stepping down off of my high horse and taking a bow). Confessions of a Video Vixen reads like a ghetto soap opera. Not only does Superhead reveal all about her sexual romps (some in great detail) but she also names names. I know you are thinking Oh No she didn'!! Well Oh yes she did!!!! Most of the people mentioned were either married or in committed relationships when they had a taste of the superhead so I'm sure she has a couple of wives looking for her in hopes of administering a memorable beat down to that azz.. One such wife is Ma Barker, the current wife of Ms steffens' ex Kool G Rap (an old school rap artist whom she so eloquently rips to shreads in her book) Ma threatened Karrine yesterday during her interview on Ms. Jones' morning show on Hot 97 in NY. Karrine was ambushed by Ms. Jones as she was rambling on about how much of a dead beat dad G Rap was when Ms. Jones announced that she had him on the line, wife in tow. Now there is nothing like a down ass bitch and I applaud that Ma was down for her man but truth be told that bitch has a big ass mouth. She was telling all of the business as well as throwing in the names of people who I'm sure didn't want to be named, such as Method Man (who ended up calling to straighten shyt out) and Big Tigger (po' thang). I don't want to say too much so I'll just leave ya'll with a pic of Superhead and her current love interest Mr. Bill Maher. (apparently she has sucked her way through the Hip Hop crowd and has moved on to bigger and better things, namely Hollywood) and a link to the Hot 97 interview. Listen, enjoy and let me know what you think. Until then, Holla!!

http://www.hot97.com/

Mariah

2005-07-07T17:42:00.000-04:00

What is up with MS. Mariah? I mean dayum! Does this chick ever miss a photo op? Everytime I see her she has some fake smile plastered on her grill and posing. Just be natural sometimes MiMi. You have a beautiful voice which can hold it's own. Please cool it with all of the fakeness because you look stupid as hell and
this right here-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>> takes the cake!!

Now she knows she doesn't have abs like that.

Ass like what?...

2005-07-07T13:55:00.000-04:00

Let's Analyze this shall we. Now we all know that us sista's are known for the asses. I mean we have big ol' badunkadunk bootys and everybody knows it so where is our props? Come on now, Britney Spears? Jessica Simpson? Hilary Duff? They don't have shyt on us sistah's Okay? Janet, now she does have a big ol' butt but a shout out to her does not do us justice. What about Ketoy? Buffie? and all the other big bootied sisitahs out there. Em, you gotta do better than that... Give us our props too dammit!!!

Video provided by VideoCodes4U

Me busted? Nahh not the kid~~~~~ part deux

2005-07-05T21:51:00.000-04:00

Okay to continue my story, Dru and I live in different cities and fortunately, my job calls for me to travel quite frequently so Dru and I can keep our thing going. I call it a "thing" because I really don't know what we are. I would love for him to be my man but I know that isn't reasonable since we can go months without seeing one another. I don't really expect him to not have a life and I know he doesn't mind me doing my thing just as long as we keep it to ourselves. But anyway, I'm in town for a while. A girlfriend of mine also happens to live in said town so I'm staying with her while I'm here.. She and I hung out Friday night at this club. We are all having a good time dancing, then sitting nursing our drinks. She sees a few people that she knows and we are just chillaxin'. I'm getting much attention but I'm also noticing that every time a dude says something to me, here comes this negro whispering something in his ear or saying "Let me holla atcha man" and then they jet. I'm getting pissed that this dude is being a blocka, so I'm sitting there with much attitude.This happens about three or four times and it never fails, this dude pulls them away and says whatever he is saying. Why does his azz seem to know every muthafugga in the club? Anyway, he finally gets the nerve to step to me himself and I ask him why is he blockin' and he says that he thinks I'm attractive and he didn't want anyone else to get me . This is my girl's good friend so I'm being nice even though I am still pissed(he's looking good so my pisstivity is fading fast.) Three of us rode to the club together and when it is time to leave we decide that we want to go to an after hours spot. My friend picks up 3 stray brothas and this heffa tells me that there is no room for me in the car and I must ride with the blocka. I'm cool with that although I am a bit skeptical. After all, he is a stranger but I make sure that we will be following them straight to the club. All of a sudden he remembers he has laundry in the washer and has to make a pit stop, That man was not slick, I knew what he was up to so I kept my azz planted right in my seat. He was out about 5 minutes later and we head off to the after hours spot. We talk on the way there and I tell him that I have a man(well he asks and I'm a straight up sista, no secrets, no lies) and he tells me that he has someone that he wouldn't want to see us together either. No biggie because I wasn't trying to get with him like that . We get to the club and I am noticing how fine the blocka really is. Yeah, yeah I had my liquid goggles on but seriously dude was gorgeous. I'm a little sketchy on what happened after that but the next day dude comes over and hangs out some more.( don't forget he is a friend of my girl) Dru is busy being a workaholic so I've only been able to see him after hours. Sunday, I call Dru and he had some business to take care of so he wouldn't be able to see me. Blocka calls and asks can he come over and I tell him yeah. We hung out all that morning and afternoon, then we are in the bed taking a nap. (And I do mean just napping I haven't even kissed him yet) but anyway, I wake up when the phone rings and it is Dru telling me he is on his way over to pick me up because he has a surprise for me. You talking about a sista doing double time? Mayun, my ass was moving like I had a lit blow torch under it. I tell blocka he has to go because Dru will be there in 2 and 2. Do you know this dude had the nerve to cop an attitude? I was straight up with him. I told him I had someone who lived in that same city whom I love to death. I told him that he(Dru) will always come first so if we are hanging out, midstroke, kissing, whatever, if my baby calls I'm out!!. He was down with all of that and I was flabberghasted. I asked him why he was willing to be number two and he said that one day, I will need a shoulder to cry on (I guess he meant that Dru would eventually hurt me) and he was going to be that shoulder. He said he would be there for me when I needed him. Must've been all talk because this nigga literally started tripping. He just continued to lay his ass in that bed while I am begging and pleading for him to go. I'm hopping around trying to get dressed and fix my hair and shyt and he is still lying there saying that he isn't going anywhere and he wants to meet him? Da hell? I'm like what are you doing please leave. Meanwhile Dru calls again and he will be there in 1 minute. I'm sweating now and beg him to please leave. I tell him he can lock up and I'll wait downstair for Dru and then he finally leaves about 30 seconds befor Dru arrives. My heart was beating superfast but everything worked out for the best. I was peaking out the window because I wouldn't ve put it past him to wait out there for him just so he can bust my shyt wide open. Anyway me and Dru were able to enjoy our evening and my surprise, WOW at my surprise. Lawd!!!! I know you are wondering what it was but you don't expect me to spill all of my good shyt all at once do ya?

Busted? Nahh, not the kid.

2005-07-05T15:52:00.000-04:00

This weekend I hung out with my girls. It's 4 of us and more than likely I'll be posting about them from time to time. Anyway Let me give ya'll a little background here. I met this dude when I was in school and fell in love instantly. I thought this man was so fine and I was determined to get him. I had a party at my house and he came with a mutual friend. I spotted him and spent the rest of the night trying to catch dude's eye. Now I look good if I do say so myself and I didn't anticipate any problems in getting dude to notice me but dayum if he didn't have something for my azz. That man wasn't paying me a bit more attention than the man in the moon, so I eventually said " screw this" and went on about my business mingling with the rest of the guest. Fast forward to about 2 weeks later one of my friends stopped by my place and told me she was going to this card party with a mutual friend of ours. Since I knew the guy who invited her, I decided to tag along. We walk up in there and I almost fell out. Guess whose house it was? Right!!! Dude from my party who I was sweatin'. Anyway, we played Pinochle( that is my game can't nobody mess with me at the Pinochle table) and as luck (or fate as I'd like to think) would have it we both were losers and ended up sitting out at the same time. He asked me to go on a beer run with him and as we walked and talked he asked me if he gave me his number would I call him. I told him that I might (had to play it cool couldn't let him know how much I was really feelin' him) but anyway after that we started seeing each other on the regular. He was very up front and honest with me about everything. He told me he had a girl back home and left it up to me whether or not I wanted ot still get involved with him. Now I know I was wrong but hell yeah, I was still interested. My method of thinking was that I was there, she was not and if I play my cards right and work my mojo on him, I'll be the girlfriend and she'll be the outsider. It was hard because he would tell me she was visiting for the weekend and if I wanted to see him I had to see him such and such a day. I was pissed but because of the fact that I was the one who chose to get with him anyway, I couldn't say shyt about it. I think the fact that he was so honest with me from the get go was why I did and still do love this man's dirty drawz. He was the perfect gentleman when my visits to his place turned into overnighters. I was nervous as hell the first time I stayed the night and when he said he was going to bed, I said I would stay up and watch movies knowing my azz was sleepy as hell and cramped up on that little bitty behind couch. Anyway, he woke up in the middle of the night and I guess he saw me looking pitiful on the couch so he prodded me to get in the bed. After a myriad of excuses from"I don't have anything to sleep in to I'm not sleepy," he finally got me in his bedroom. He tossed me a T-shirt and some boxers and I refused to put them on saying I was fine in my clothes. He cracked up at me and said instead of getting undressed for bed, I get dressed but he told me to stop playing around and just get in the bed. I was hesistant and I guess he picked up on it because he then said that I don't have to worry about him trying anything with me. He was sleepy and going to sleep, he said he wouldn't lay one finger on me and to top it off he said and I quote" MiMi, I will tell you this, when you are ready for me you will come to me first". I was thinking ain't this some shyt, cocky muthafugga. I was like well we ain't going to be do anything because I'll de damned if I'm going to be sweating a brotha for some dyck. Lawd that shyt lasted all of 1 week because true to his word, that sucka kept his hands off. Not only did he not touch me when deep down inside I really wanted to be touched, but he took it a step further, he would turn his back to me. I was horny and I wanted his ass so I guess he was right because one night I started grabbing on anything and everything I could grab and it was on after that. Yeah he never let me live it down, whispering to me while we were out with friend's and stuff "Why did you get horny last night and then cackling like some damn maniacal clown. " Lol @ me!!! This has nothing to do with my weekend perse'. I call myself giving ya'll the history of me and Dru(names have been changed to protect the innocent) and I get caught traveling down memory lane. Now I have to continue this when I get home because it is almost time for me to get outta this damed office.

Damn Women Drivers

2005-07-01T13:30:00.000-04:00

Yes, You read right!! Okay, I am a woman myself but I can drive my ass off. It is rare that one finds a woman like me who can handle a car like nobody's business. But anyway, let's get to the gist of my rant. I was scheduled for a meeting today and I decided to drive downtown which I rarely if ever do. So I'm minding my own damn business driving along when this bitch pulls up on the side of me in her big azz mini-van and tries to boguard her way in front of me. I do have my nice moments when I have no problem letting people in but I get pissed off when I do that and they fail to acknowledge my good deed with a thanks, wave of the hand, nod of the head or something. This bitch got on my last nerves because she didn't ask if she could cut in. She was just inching her way in (after she pulled up on the side of me mind you) and the bitch had this look like "yeah you are gonna let me in" but I had something for her ass. We were coming to a bridge and she needed to get over to continue on so while we are stopped this broad is matching me inch for inch trying to get her way in while I'm like" not today chica". She is moving on up and I am moving on up and like I said, she wasn't getting in front of me, not this day. I move on into position and do you know this bitch has the nerve to lean on her damn horn. What the hell? Since when did I become obligated to let a bitch in who pulls up along side me and tries to pass me. I see her through my mirror, lips just a flappin', so I kindly flip her off a few times while bobbin' my head to Webby and some "Gimme dat girl". This chick is still yappin' so I turn down my music and say "bitch learn how to drive because it will be a cold day in hell before you cut in front of me". I just get pissed off when people do shit like that and if I wasn't in the middle of the morning rush hour traffic I would've pulled over, club in hand, and dared that bitch to open her yap. I am really bad about things like that. I have a bad case of road rage and I know I better chill out before I step to the wrong person. Man the stories I could tell about what I've done in the name of a road rage.

What the Heezy?

2005-06-29T23:16:00.000-04:00

I have been watching MTV a lot lately and I simply cannot stand those ghetto ass ring tone commercials "Where my baby daddy at?" WTF? Come on MTV you can do better than that. I just want to scream everytime they show a promo for one of those ringtones.

Anyway I am still ranting about the BET award. What the hell happened to the performers. I admit I was hyped about seeing Lauryn and the Fugees reunited but the chick was Off-key. She was cracking on the notes which weren't even that high. Now take a look at the pic to the right? WTF is up with that big ass bow and the mushroom 80's 'do? Please chile, give us the old LBoogie. We want her back!!!! Then you have Mariah? Wheeewww chile! I don't know about y'all but all I heard was screeching and howling. She was definitely struggling to hit them high notes. It was like that with practically every performer. Okay, Okay, Gladys did hold it down. She had to show them young bucks how it is done because these new cats aren't nearly as good as they were back in the day. Bey and 'em did their thing though. The singing was on point and the lap dances were cool too. Terrence Howard looked liked he was about to cum but I can't hate. Beyonce' is one sexy chick!! Hell, given the right time and place I may have gotten a little wet looking at her too! Michelle(shaking head) I don't know what her purpose is? She can't sing and she's ugly to boot, 'nuff said. I did love Omarions performance though. That nukka is one dancing fool. People like to compare him to Usher but in my honest and humbe opinion, Usher ain't got shyt on him. Ciara, on the other hand, I could've done without. The highlight of her performance was Luda so that should tell you something right there. Man what I wouldn't do to have just 10 minutes alone with that man. I would tear his ass up and really give him something to sang about.(fannin mah self) UMMPH UMMPH UMMPH!!!! John legend was cool as was Stevie but mayun, what the heck are they feeding him. Stevie done just straight up blewuptuated. He is huge!! Mike Jones got the crowd hype but come on now who really wants him ? Nah, I take that back. If Biz Markie, 50, Ying Yang twins, Lil ' John and the rest of them cro-magnum looking dudes can get chicks why not Mike Jones. I won't knock him. Hell, he might be able to pry my legs open if he was throwing enough dollas my way. lol